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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dogs! Who was at fault?

86 replies

TheSpottedDog · 23/01/2021 11:41

I was walking my dog in the park early this morning. She’s reactive and not friendly with other dogs so I keep her on a long line and stay in open areas where there are no people/dogs. So, we’re happily exploring a large grassy area when a dog comes running up off lead ... face to face ... ok for a few seconds but then my dog starts to get arsey. The other dog ran off. I get my dogs attention back and we carry on but this off lead dog comes running back ... this time my dog reacts straight away and tries to run after it barking ... poo bag goes flying, I nearly end up on my arse ... the owner unsuccessfully trying to call his dog back ... in the end I say loudly “Right! Let’s go!” And walk away with Cujo/my dog. I hear the man mutter something to his dog about “come on mate, it’s not a nice dog” 🤬

So I’m trying to look at it objectively- his dog was clearly friendly (and bloody cute! A young SharPei) and mine is the reactive one. BUT mine was on a lead, his wasn’t and he clearly had shit recall. So, was I at fault for being in a park with a reactive dog or was he at fault for not having control of his dog?

(We are in intensive training for her issues and have been for over a year, she’s much better than she was)

YABU - I’m at fault
YANBU - he was at fault

OP posts:

Santaiscovidfree · 23/01/2021 11:45

Imo a dog without decent recall is worse than a contained non friendly one..
Our older ddog was always on a lead. Sometimes a muzzle. Didn't stop people or ddogs approaching!! Once a man and his spaniel sat next to us on 1 bench of about 10!! Thought ddog would spontaneously combust!! Pets at home do colour coded leads with signage. Should be encouraged imo!

Clappingforjoy · 23/01/2021 11:46

Your overthinking it let it go you wasnt doing any wrong and was taking full responsibility with your dog.

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 23/01/2021 11:46

He is at fault for having his dog off lead and not under control. People are arseholes. I had a dog come up to mine (on-lead) and the owner arrived minutes later just repeating it's name. Like, train your dog or get it on a lead, it clearly has shit recall!

Santaiscovidfree · 23/01/2021 11:47

Maybe he was miffed your ddog didn't love his pfb!!.

Original poster

TheSpottedDog · 23/01/2021 11:49

@Santaiscovidfree

Maybe he was miffed your ddog didn't love his pfb!!.

😂😂 well if it makes him feel any better I just wanted to give it a cuddle! It was adorable!

OP posts:

Thewithesarehere · 23/01/2021 11:51

A few weeks ago, some dogsplaining militant left an off lead dog to wreck havoc in a famous London park. That led to the death of a beautiful animal that ran into the street and got hit by a car.
We really need to contain this epidemic.

pawsies · 23/01/2021 11:54

You're overthinking it and his comment about your dog not being a nice dog at least acknowledges that his dog shouldn't be approaching yours.
It was probably a throwaway comment that he hasn't even thought about.
I get your frustration but ultimately you are going to come across this time and time again as most dogs do like interacting so people expect it.
A muzzle might work as a better deterrent for your dog so people spot that your dog needs space.

Darklylookingdeeply · 23/01/2021 11:55

What an arsehole. He's blaming your dog for what is a rude approach from his. He should have been more attentive to his own dog in the beginning. I think he should have apologised to you as your dog is under control and his isn't.

Godimabitch · 23/01/2021 11:56

A long line doesn't count as a lead in my opinion. Neither do extendables. You should have brought your dog close to you so it was under control when you saw the other dog. And you should have informed the other dog owner that your dog was reactive and asked him to get his on a lead while you moved yours away before the seccond reaction.

I have a reactive dog, it's hard, but you know the situation, the other dog owner doesn't, so it's your responsibility to protect yours and the other dog.

If your dog was on a short lead and you'd asked them to put theirs on a lead when you saw it then it would be 100% their fault.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 23/01/2021 11:56

He was at fault for being unaware of his off lead dog approaching your dog until it was too late, then had no recall. If it won't recall it needs to be on a lead/longline AND he needs to pay more attention.

I'd have replied to him!

You did better ignoring him!

You didn't do anything wrong.

But he only spoke to his dog he didn't threaten to knock you out.

Just forget about it!!

Godimabitch · 23/01/2021 11:57

And his dog should absolutely recall, he's out of order for having a dog off lead that doesn't recall. But I just think you should have managed the situation, knowing your dog was reactive.

Tallybeebloom · 23/01/2021 11:57

My dog is reactive and off lead dogs with bad recall are the bain of my life! I think they seem to be becoming more common as well as more people who aren't experienced with dogs are getting them because they're at home more often now but they don't necessarily know how to train for recall or know dog-walking etiquette (e.g. If you see a dog on lead you call yours back) and as there's no training classes or groups or anything on just now they have no where to learn it from.

GettingThin2021 · 23/01/2021 12:00

Going against the grain a little I think you were both partly at fault.
His dog shouldn't be off lead if it doesn't have great recall.
Yours should be pulled in off a long line if another dog approaches and you know your dog is reactive. As your dogs reaction nearly pulled you over it seems you weren't prepared and with a reactive dog, you need to be (I had one and it was such hard work while in training, you can't take your eye off the ball for a second).

Also, his comment - of course he's going to think your dog isn't very nice if it's reactive, but you don't need him to like your dog so I wouldn't worry about it.

Cabinfever10 · 23/01/2021 12:00

If your dogs lead was extended and you didn't bring your dog in close to you after the 1st interact you are both equally to blame.
If your dog was on a shortened (under 6 feet)and locked then it was the other owners fault.
Having a dog on a lead extended to its full length (normally about 8m) is not classed as under control

Floobydo · 23/01/2021 12:00

You are massively overthinking this and being overly sensitive.

Yes if his dog has poor recall he should have it on a lead.

You were doing the right thing keeping your dog on a lead.

But his comment to his own dog is no big deal. He wasn’t being rude or aggressive towards you or blaming you. He was just recognising the situation and taking his dog away.

It’s great you are getting support with your dog, well done for being a responsible dog owner.

Tallybeebloom · 23/01/2021 12:03

Although saying that, I'm just thinking, if the dog approached yours the first time and your dog was ok then the guy maybe just would have assumed it was fine to approach again. I generally tend to shout over in a friendly way to the owners of approaching dogs to warn them and ask them to call their dog back. I've never had anyone had an issue or be rude because they've been pre - warned and usually they're the ones more embarassed because they then realise their dog has no recall when they try to call them away but can't.

boredinthouse · 23/01/2021 12:03

I think you're both partly at fault. He is because his dog with shit recall is off lead but if your dog is on a long line then it's not necessarily under close control.

Frouby · 23/01/2021 12:04

I do think long lines are a pita if not used correctly, you should have gathered your dog closer, and shouted over he/she is reactive. Twice yesterday my off lead dog was harrassed by dogs on long lines/extending leads. Once by a jrt on a long line that nearly took mine out by winding round her legs, and whippet legs injure easily. And once by a huge doberman , in fact she was on lead by this point and the doberman came bounding over to us and was quite an intimidating dog bounding over to me, ds and dog, especially when ddog is a bit arsey on the lead, hence having her off lead but with an excellent recall.

So yanbu to expect a dog off lead to have decent recall and an aware owner. But yababitu if you didn't have a reactive dog close enough to try and manage the situation.

TheFuckingDogs · 23/01/2021 12:05

I had this with one of mine the other day - old and grumpy now. On the lead. Tiny pug like thing wanting to play, owner couldn’t catch it, I was pretty much running away with my much larger dog cause worried mine might be snappy

pigsDOfly · 23/01/2021 12:06

Doesn't matter what you do somehow, the 'he's friendly' brigade will always assume your dog should want to 'play' with their, frequently, untrained, out of control pooch.

There's a thread running on 'the dog house' at the moment about this and it crops up frequently.

I have a friend who has a dog reactive dog. They have a yellow lead with the word 'nervous' in large black letters along it length. Does it stop people allowing their dog to run up to him. Does it hell!

And this is in the street as he never takes his dog to the park.

Just put it out of your mind OP. Just be aware it's going to keep happening, you'll get used to it.

MeredithGreysScalpel · 23/01/2021 12:08

I don’t really think anyone is ‘at fault’ in a situation like this.

Hands up - my dog has unreliable recall. He can be brilliant 9/10 but then that 10th time he might totally ignore me and go to see a dog he’s taken a liking to. Treats, toys, praise - none of it means anything to him if he’s decided he wants to say hello and I just have to wait for him to come back. I try my best to put him straight on the lead if I spot another dog on a lead or someone who’s clearly trying to avoid others. However, sometimes people get arsey with me for putting him on a lead - ‘he’s friendly, don’t worry’ - when I’m trying to do the right thing.

You didn’t do anything wrong here, but maybe they didn’t either (apart from the shitty comment).

Sexnotgender · 23/01/2021 12:08

YANBU at all. A woman got the raging hump at me in the park a few weeks ago as I shouted for her to get her off lead dog under control. It was harassing my dogs who are never off lead in public, one in particular is scared and nervous of other dogs.

JollyAndBright · 23/01/2021 12:17

Yadnbu

I have a friendly lab who we walk off lead (as she is well trained)
I would never allow her to approach a leaded dog as I always assume there is a reason the owner chooses them to walk on lead and probably doesn’t want them bothered.

I will even temporarily lead my dog while walking past leaded dogs on a narrow country path (now we step aside into the field and I make her sit while they pass)

I 100% believe if dogs are not well trained enough to stop or come immediately on command they should never be walked off lead.

pigsDOfly · 23/01/2021 12:17

You didn't do anything wrong here, but maybe they didn't either (apart from the shitty comments).

The OP said that the dog was off lead and the man was unable to recall it. I would say that's doing quite a bit wrong.

If the man couldn't control and recall his dog while he's out in public it should have been on a lead, regardless of how friendly it is.

Original poster

TheSpottedDog · 23/01/2021 12:18

Thanks for the replies, I’ll take on board the comments about the long line (it’s not extendable, it’s a lunge line).

So yea he was an idiot for having an untrained dog off lead but yes, I was also an idiot for not responding properly and gathering the line in ☺️ Happy to accept my own faults as well as whinge about other peoples 😂

OP posts:

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