20 year old and gaming

[Clappingforjoy]

I'm at a loss on what to do with him he is banging and swearing playing games at night and doesnt listen to me and comes at us with attitude he has already punched several holes in his desk.
I'm worried the neighbours will complain.
He seems to have got worse since he couldnt play sports or go to college.

Are you the one paying for these games and the internet access? That would all come to a screeching halt if I were you. Time for some serious consequences.

The fact that he's playing video games isn't an issue as people of all ages play video games.

His attitude is his problem and is what needs addressing. Set him an ultimatum. One month for him to sort his shit out, otherwise he's packing his bags.

I’m sorry, but are you actually taking about a man who is 20? I am 23 btw so there’s no bitter ego or anything. I think maybe you should suggest your son should move out? Like even if he doesn’t have a good job, he needs to grow up. You say “he seems to have got worse since he can’t play games or go to college”...but, he’s not 7 right?

Change the WiFi password

Sounds like quite the gamer rage, all the best op, I'm not sure what to advise on this

Are you the partner or parent?

Parent

Time to take control, op. Your son behaving this way in your home is unacceptable. He either grows up, gets a job and treats you with respect or he can live elsewhere. You aren't doing him any favours by allowing him to act this way.

He's 20.. he's not a child anymore! He's old enough to understand his behavior isn't acceptable and the attitude is not justifiable at all, he isn't a teenager anymore, he is an adult! Fwiw I'm the same age and I know for a fact I wouldn't be caught dead disrespecting the household like that if I still lived at home. Your house, your rules. He needs to grow up massively. I do feel for you because my husband is also a rage gamer but he has since grown up since I told him his behaviour wasn't acceptable and he got it, sometimes he has a blip where he loses his temper at the game but never at me or furniture! I hope you stand your ground x

If you find it unacceptable then tell him it's a deal breaker and if it keeps happening he'll have to look for somewhere else to live. You might also find him some resources about emotional control and suggest he takes up running or something.

If it's not a deal breaker and you're just concerned about him, sit down and have a chat with him. Let him know it worries you and you think your nerves and his hands, furniture and gaming will improve if he can channel his frustration more effectively.

Is he working?
It's all very well posters suggesting that you tell him to leave etc but I'm not sure how that plays out in real life.
Is he frustrated in other areas of his life?
Has he any SEN. The punching things is quite extreme. What does he say afterwards? Does he repair the damage? Has he always got frustrated at things?

I dont know beforethis he always says he is fine in himself but has told me he is fed up with the lack of a social life due to lockdown.

His attitude is whatever it's very upsetting. He is hoping to go to university September hopefully he will calm down.

OP, he's a 20 year old man being ALLOWED to behave like a spoilt little brat. You sound afraid of him/afraid of putting your foot down.

@YouJustDoYou

OP, he's a 20 year old man being ALLOWED to behave like a spoilt little brat. You sound afraid of him/afraid of putting your foot down.

Yep.

We're a gaming family but there's no screaming down a headset long into the night from any of us.

Unplug the router and tell him to play offline if he can behave.

*can't