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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To correct people on the use of the words mental health!!

134 replies

AyrshireAmbler49 · 22/01/2021 04:57

People everywhere use the words ‘mental health’ all wrong and it makes them look thick.
For example “He had mental health” referring to someone who had poor mental health or who was struggling with their mental health.
Argh has anyone else noticed this!?

OP posts:
Spidey66 · 22/01/2021 11:00

Another mental health nurse who it irritates.

I'm also annoyed by those describing themselves as having bipolar disorder when they're nothing of the sort. Bipolar disorder is a very serious condition. When sufferers are in a manic stage, they're often hospitalised, often under section.

Often those suffering from EUPD are convinced they have bipolar disorder because they feel it is less stigmatising.....EUPD often means difficulties regulating emotions meaning they have rapid mood swings, but the mood swings are usually more swift and not sustained in the same way as a manic phase, which can last several weeks. I think sufferers see a personality disorder as being their "fault" or a criticism. Personally I see EUPD as quite often being a form of complex PTSD, as many sufferers have had disrupted and damaged childhoods.

Don't get me started on people diagnosing themselves with ADHD because they struggle to complete a task especially if they're not interested. It's called procrastination and we're all guilty of it. Often the same people will say 'it started a couple of years back.' It's not ADHD then, which starts in childhood.

Spidey66 · 22/01/2021 11:03

I have actually known people complain of impulsive and erratic behaviour and say they think it's ADHD, then admit to using shed loads of cocaine, and can't seem to see the irony.

LadyHedgehog · 22/01/2021 11:04

Never seen this (but it would annoy me if I did). We do have someone at work who is always saying 'we all have mental health' which, although not technically wrong, really jars with me, because if you said 'we all have health' that would imply (to me!) 'we all have 'good' health'.

EagleSqueak · 22/01/2021 11:05

I’m so glad this isn’t just me, I thought I was alone.
‘She‘s/he’s got Mental Health, I’ve got Mental Health’, aarrgggghhh!

MerylStropp · 22/01/2021 11:09

OMG this also grinds my gears, but I never correct it for fear of being accused of insensitivity/pedantry/missing the point. But when someone recently commented on Facebook in a thread about the effects of the Covid situation that " mental health is at an all-time high ", I really had to sit on my hands... Hmm

thenewduchessofhastings · 22/01/2021 11:10

I once managed someone within my work team who had depression and anxiety;she was an absolute nightmare not because she suffering from anxiety and depression but because she was a rude cunt who lacked boundaries,was hostile&aggressive towards myself,my team and customers,couldn't handle any sort of negative feedback/positive feedback,swore at me via email,made false complaints which she'd later withdraw and admit she'd lied etc

All of the above she'd blame because "she had depression and anxiety" which peeved me off no end because I suffered with anxiety and depression as did several members of the team but none of us used it as an excuse to treat people like shit like she did.

Sarahandduck18 · 22/01/2021 11:16

Why does no one say nervous breakdown anymore as PP mentioned?

IMO it’s a much more useful term to explain the experience after a very stressful event that negatively impacts basic functioning.

Cissyandflora · 22/01/2021 11:21

This absolutely grates yes. In the world of social services here. I’m always told that certain people have ‘mental health’ and when I say that’s good! No one understands. I’ve raised it so so many times. No one even seems to realise. ‘Mental’ health means the person is ‘mental’ I think. That’s where it’s come from.

I’ve tried to explain by saying we all want physical health therefore we all want mental health. Mocking ensues. I’ve been to training on ‘mental’ health and the trainers use the same term. A person has mental health and how can we support such people?

As you can see from my prolonged response- this is something that really irritates me.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 22/01/2021 11:22

Why does no one say nervous breakdown anymore.

I seem to remember I asked this question of a therapist once. The answer was along the lines that it's not a clinical term and is too unspecific. It could mean anything from depression so severe you all-but cease functioning to a psychotic breakdown. So they ditched it.

That's my second-hand, layperson's understanding but am happy to be corrected by anyone with more knowledge.

ChippyDucks150 · 22/01/2021 11:26

Yes!!!! This drives me mad. I said this to my husband before, someone doesn't suffer from mental health, because everyone has mental health, be It good or bad. That's like saying I am suffering from a leg. I can suffer from a broken leg, just like one can have poor mental health, but I won't suffer from having a leg.
Sorry for not being the most coherent post, but trying to WFH, homeschool but just had to reply!!

Washimal · 22/01/2021 11:46

This has frustrated me for years.

Another pet hate of mine is the increasing overuse of the words "traumatised" or "traumatic" to describe any event that has the potential to be upsetting. Traumatised and upset are not the same thing but they've become almost interchangeable!

HerselfIndoors · 22/01/2021 11:54

That's like saying I am suffering from a leg.

I love this! That's exactly it.

I agree with Cissyandflora that it probably has more to do with the use of the world "mental" to mean mad, than people wanting to avoid the stigma of an illness or condition. Because as other PPs say, it's now normal to claim all kinds of self-diagnosed conditions.

There's almost the opposite of a stigma now - encouraging people to talk about mental illness and not be ashamed of it (which is obviously a good thing) has led to a social media phenomenon where talking about your anxiety, depression, BPD or OCD - whether nor not medically diagnosed – gets you loads of likes, attention and praise.

Thevan · 22/01/2021 11:58

@Spidey66

Another mental health nurse who it irritates.

I'm also annoyed by those describing themselves as having bipolar disorder when they're nothing of the sort. Bipolar disorder is a very serious condition. When sufferers are in a manic stage, they're often hospitalised, often under section.

Often those suffering from EUPD are convinced they have bipolar disorder because they feel it is less stigmatising.....EUPD often means difficulties regulating emotions meaning they have rapid mood swings, but the mood swings are usually more swift and not sustained in the same way as a manic phase, which can last several weeks. I think sufferers see a personality disorder as being their "fault" or a criticism. Personally I see EUPD as quite often being a form of complex PTSD, as many sufferers have had disrupted and damaged childhoods.

Don't get me started on people diagnosing themselves with ADHD because they struggle to complete a task especially if they're not interested. It's called procrastination and we're all guilty of it. Often the same people will say 'it started a couple of years back.' It's not ADHD then, which starts in childhood.

Bipolar disorder is a serious condition, but it does vary in severity.

You can be on the bipolar disorder spectrum with cyclothymia, (like Stephen Fry), bipolar II or bipolar I. Many people on the spectrum will never have to be hospitalised, but that doesn't mean they don't have bipolar disorder.

But back to the original OP - it irritates the hell out of me too. We all have mental health, add an adjective!

LaMarschallin · 22/01/2021 12:06

ChippyDucks150

evertone has mental health, be It good or bad. That's like saying I am suffering from a leg. I can suffer from a broken leg, just like one can have poor mental health, but I won't suffer from having a leg.
Sorry for not being the most coherent post, but trying to WFH, homeschool but just had to reply!!

Totally coherent and makes me think that your children are lucky to have you homeschooling them.

Excellent analogy and funny too Smile

unmarkedbythat · 22/01/2021 12:12

People everywhere use the words ‘mental health’ all wrong and it makes them look thick.

If you're looking for reasons to decide people are thick, I'm sure it does.

If you understand what someone is saying or writing, the communication has been successful. What else is language but a communication tool? You know bloody well what people mean when they use "mental health" to indicate "mental ill health" or "mental illness" or "mental health issues", so what is the big problem?

Showers3 · 22/01/2021 12:13

Yes! Winds me up too

Sharww · 22/01/2021 12:17

Totally agree. It’s so strange. People saying ‘he’s got mental health’ when they actually mean the opposite.

hellejuice91 · 22/01/2021 12:20

This annoys me too my sister says 'I have mental health!!' And it makes no sense haha

Outdoorsywithgin · 22/01/2021 12:22

"He's on the spectrum" boils my piss when they are referring to someone with autistic traits. Everybody is on the spectrum, that's the whole fucking point of a spectrum!

Sharww · 22/01/2021 12:22

@hellejuice91

This annoys me too my sister says 'I have mental health!!' And it makes no sense haha
You should reply with ‘oh I’m so glad you’re feeling mentally healthy, that’s great!’ Haha
hellejuice91 · 22/01/2021 12:22

Missed a bit

Would I correct someone? No I know what they are saying so it doesn't really matter on the grand scheme of things

PrettyLittleBrownEyedMe · 22/01/2021 12:26

I hear this quite often, and it is very irritating; why don't people think about the meaning of what they say?

Along the same lines, working with young people, I also hear 'I have anger management' increasingly frequently and every time I have to stop myself from saying 'that's fabulous! Well done you!'

Vilanelle · 22/01/2021 12:26

majorly annoys me and is said in my work place a lot

llamakoala · 22/01/2021 12:29

My Stepmother always used to aggressively and disdainfully say “He/she/they ARE MENTAL HEALTH,” while pointing to her head. So I really dislike the term. Additionally with the use of the word “are” as if someone is defined by their condition. Before she came into the picture, my parents had a very good friend who had Schizophrenia and my Stepmother forbade my Dad to allow her into the house, so we didn’t speak to or see her for many years.. :-/

This kind of talk furthers ignorance and stigma!

Maverickess · 22/01/2021 12:34

I noticed this when I read on Facebook "Mental health is nothing to be ashamed of! Share if you agree!"

I wanted to put "Nor is mental illness" but realised I'd just be proving a point for no real reason, it irritates me though. Not that I'd verbalise that to people I know,
For me it's on par with iburofen instead of ibuprofen, Pacific instead of specific and their, there and they're misuses. I can normally tell by the context what is meant, and the aim of the writer is to be understood, so it does it's job. It's just one of those things that momentarily irritates, but I don't dwell on.