For being incredibly pissed off?

[NewYearTypicalMe]

I've had a flare up of a medical condition that means I've had about 8 hours sleep over the last three days. Add home schooling and I'm am on my knees. "D"H said last night that he would get up this morning and set the kids up for the 8:45 register teams call and supervise their learning until lunchtime so I could rest as much as possible. He would use his flexitime and work a bit later.
After another disturbed night I woke at 8:45 he was still in bed, I jumped up and he claimed both the kids were up, he'd heard them. I went in their rooms and they were both in bed. They are 9 & 11. He kept saying I've got this, it's fine, just go back to bed. I ignored him, told the kids to throw on a jumper and get on their computers. I ended up just dealing with them as I was too angry to go back to bed. Apparently I'm the unreasonable one? I haven't spoken to him since this morning. I know the silent treatment is awful but I'm just so angry I can't trust what I might say.

The atmosphere in the house must be awful with the silent treatment. Don’t subject your children to that.

@harknesswitch yup I get that. I just feel guilty that my kids will suffer

I would have pushed him out of bed and gone to sleep but you got up meaning he didn,t have to.

@Bluntness100 thank you @Minikievs that's it
Don't want them to miss out due to their DaD

@Cherrysoup I do it all as I'm a SAHP I know he's their Dad but I I've been in this situation for years and no idea how to get out

@nimbuscloud first time for this atmosphere and everyone is asleep so doubt that

@june2007 I know, more full me

@NewYearTypicalMe by letting him get on. Honestly, stop ‘supporting’ him to be a parent. If they’re late to class, they’re late. Stop beating yourself up over this. Start handing over responsibility and tell him to step the fuck up!

@NewYearTypicalMe
That’s good that they’re asleep
Presumably you will be talking to your husband in the morning so no atmosphere 👍

@Cherrysoup you're right. I know you are right. Thank you x

@nimbuscloud
Yup fingers crossed for sleep for everyone

* Despite alarms, screaming at them, punishments etc*

Sounds nice.

You all need to communicate better. The atmosphere sounds horrendous. Do you often ignore each other for entire days?

@Lavanderrose it's not nice and I hate it but I'm just pointing out nothing wakes my kids up. If you have a solution I'd love to hear it?

DS is an typical teen and is late for school every single day.

I got very pissed off with school implying I should do more, he is bigger than me, what the hell can I do?!

So I started videoing me trying to get him up, him swearing at me, telling me to fuck off, slamming the door (he can do this from his bed), and then sending it to them. Oddly enough, after the second video they stopped hassling me and he was getting detention every single day for a fortnight! He is still late but now the one who is causing it is getting the hassle and not me.

I would let him deal with it. If they are late and they call you you simply say "Oh I dont know what happened, I have been ill and my husband was doing the home schooling" once he has had to take the call you can bet your sweet ass it wont happen again.

[quote NewYearTypicalMe]@Lavanderrose it's not nice and I hate it but I'm just pointing out nothing wakes my kids up. If you have a solution I'd love to hear it? [/quote]
Body clock reset.

It takes a little while but earlier bed times by 5 minutes every 2 days. They are sleeping in because they are tired. So their bedtimes are clearly too late but if you go in like a bull at a gate and send them an hour or two earlier it wont work as they will lie awake.

So no blue light within an hour or bedtime (includes TV, phones etc) but do allow audio books on quiet if it helps (as a lifelong insomniac I Audible has saved me and DD (9) uses them too). Then gradually claw back the bed time.

Might not work but its better than whats happening now.

@NewYearTypicalMe

Hands up to being a martyr then. 11 year old got them self up and walked 30 minutes to school to be on time when they went to school. Online learning, despite my best efforts has meant disengagement from them and not getting up. 9 year old hasn't got up on their own ever. Despite alarms, screaming at them, punishments etc. I'd leave them to get themselves up sorted for school by themselves but it's me that gets the calls that they're late or absent

Eh? OP is online learning but this one is the kid getting up and sorted and walking to school. Which is it?

@AnneLovesGilbert nope just the weekend when we needed to scream. Do you need that release too?

@NewYearTypicalMe

Hands up to being a martyr then. 11 year old got them self up and walked 30 minutes to school to be on time when they went to school. Online learning, despite my best efforts has meant disengagement from them and not getting up. 9 year old hasn't got up on their own ever. Despite alarms, screaming at them, punishments etc. I'd leave them to get themselves up sorted for school by themselves but it's me that gets the calls that they're late or absent

Sorry I've re read and I misunderstood.

Not sure an 11 year old should be doing that.

@Wheresmykimchi
No 11 year old got them self up and walked 30 minutes to school to be on time when they went to school. Online learning, despite my best efforts has meant disengagement from them and not getting up.
9 year old hasn't got up on their own ever. Despite alarms, screaming at them, punishments etc. I'd leave them to get themselves up sorted for school by themselves but it's me that gets the calls that they're late or absent 
Eh? OP is online learning but this one is the kid getting up and sorted and walking to school. Which is it?
11 year old was happy to walk to school when he had a physical registration, not happy with online registrations

[quote NewYearTypicalMe]@Wheresmykimchi
No 11 year old got them self up and walked 30 minutes to school to be on time when they went to school. Online learning, despite my best efforts has meant disengagement from them and not getting up.
9 year old hasn't got up on their own ever. Despite alarms, screaming at them, punishments etc. I'd leave them to get themselves up sorted for school by themselves but it's me that gets the calls that they're late or absent 
Eh? OP is online learning but this one is the kid getting up and sorted and walking to school. Which is it?
11 year old was happy to walk to school when he had a physical registration, not happy with online registrations[/quote]
Yeah sorry caught up now.

Screaming at them and punishments , as 'not happy with registrations ' might be a wee key here . Do you have behaviour issues with them in general? This seems bigger than whether DH did or didn't get up.

If I was 11 and both my parents were having a lie in, I sure as hell would have one too!!

No I’m all good thanks. I had parents who’d stop talking to each other and it’s horrible to be a child in that atmosphere so it’s not something DH and I have ever done. Modelling healthy communication isn’t something to sneer at.

If you step in when he's being rubbish he's going to keep on being rubbish. Leave him to it. I know it's hard, if you're naturally organised & hate chaos , but he'll manage. And sorry you're not well. Stuff like this can feel like the absolute last straw when you're shattered or in pain.

[quote NewYearTypicalMe]@AnneLovesGilbert nope just the weekend when we needed to scream. Do you need that release too?[/quote]
are you on the wind up?