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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex on social media

51 replies

laserbeams · 21/01/2021 19:59

Aibu to think that my bf of six months should have deleted a photo of he and his ex partner that broke
Up two years ago ? We are together six months .
He is not regularly active on that platform
And we are not friends on it as our relationship is new and we don't want
Our children to know yet as I am
Recently divorced . I would not add him as a friend either while he has a pic of the two of them up on his feed. It's not a profile pic.Pic taken two years ago when they were together. AIBU.

OP posts:
Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 21/01/2021 20:31

Definitely YABU, good on you for accepting it. I wouldn’t mention it to him, it would definitely give off “psycho” red flags for most men

rawlikesushi · 21/01/2021 20:32

Surely people don't delete all photos of exes on sm do they? It could be years of your life erased, nice memories and holidays.

Original poster
laserbeams · 21/01/2021 20:34

Again thanks. Yes don't want to be a psycho but coming out of a twenty year marriage , I don't know what side is up anymore . I won't mention it!

OP posts:
Tumblebugsjump · 21/01/2021 20:34

Is this significant of a bigger issue?

Figgygal · 21/01/2021 20:35

Nope to erasing every trace of the woman if it’s not a profile picture

BluntAndToThePoint80 · 21/01/2021 20:36

My first thought was wondering if this was a reverse - no one can surely expect people to do this ? You cannot just erase someone’s history like this.
Well done for accepting you’re being unreasonable - please never mention this to him. I’d dump someone immediately if they even intimated they wanted me to do this.

CatRamsey · 21/01/2021 20:37

I have lots of photos with my ex on my profile. I also have lots of photos of me as a teenager and with people I don't speak to anymore. I'm not going to delete pictures of my past just because I don't speak to the people in them. They were part of my life once. And that's come from someone who really doesn't like her ex.

I will admit I was jealous of my ex's pictures with his ex when I first met him, but I was 18 and it was my first relationship. It wouldn't bother me if I met someone now who had old pictures up with an ex.

buckeejit · 21/01/2021 20:38

Yab so U. I have t thrown out photos & gifts etc of my ex. Why would I?

imalmosthere · 21/01/2021 20:39

Yes you do sound a psycho op - definitely leave it

Lookslikerainted · 21/01/2021 20:41

You need to chill out

katy1213 · 21/01/2021 20:42

I thought most people grew out of this by the time they're 16?

Original poster
laserbeams · 21/01/2021 20:49

As I said in the two previous posts , I just wanted to know if I was bu. I see that I am and that it's nothing to worry about so thanks for your input everyone .

OP posts:
Plumsforjam · 21/01/2021 20:51

YABU. My husband is blocked on Facebook as I have no wish to see his photos or for him to see mine - I’ve still got photos of us together on my feed including our wedding photos. If any new partner asked me to delete them I wouldn’t. It’s my history, my memories and my business. I’ve got absolutely no desire to get back with him either.

Corcory · 21/01/2021 20:57

What are you on about? This is too much.

MissMarpleDarling · 21/01/2021 20:59

Yabu I got 1 pic from 2007 of my ex on mine that I split up with in 2009 it's not a big deal.

Leannethom85 · 21/01/2021 20:59

Can't delete the past and its from 2 years ago. I have a few exes from my teenage years as friends on Facebook as well as some of my sisters exes at one time they were part of my family so why delete them. He's with you now that's what matters and in time he will have pictures of u and him on his profile he may have it as his profile picture and photos of exes will mean nothing to u, exes happened we can't erase them esp now thanks to social media.

MissMarpleDarling · 21/01/2021 21:00

My current bfs got loads of old pics of his ex on fb. Not bothered.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/01/2021 21:00

@laserbeams

Again thanks. Yes don't want to be a psycho but coming out of a twenty year marriage , I don't know what side is up anymore . I won't mention it!
In this case you might want to take time by yourself to get your bearings rather than jump into relationship you obviously aren't feeling secured in.
SomewhereInbetween1 · 21/01/2021 21:00

Alright everyone, the OP has just come out of a 20 year marriage and is navigating a new relationship with tech that wasn't around during the inception of her last relationship. She's seen she's likely being unreasonable and has accepted it. Let's not lay in to her.

HaveeeeYouMetTed · 21/01/2021 21:02

Yes YABVU.

Everyone has a past. You cannot just erase that. There's a reason they broke up two YEARS ago. You're old enough to mother children - act it.

Carrottop73 · 21/01/2021 21:10

Yabu, think you know by the rest of the thread.

You can’t erase his past. And if you respect your partner you wouldn’t want him to erase his past. Those may well be precious memories

The key think is they are in the past. He will be making new memories with you now.

You have only been in his life 6 months, he had a life before he met you, that’s all.

Original poster
laserbeams · 21/01/2021 21:10

Thanks @SomewhereInbetween1 . That's exactly it. I'm lucky I have found a good man but I don't know much about social media . Thanks once more .

OP posts:
emilyfrost · 21/01/2021 21:14

YABVU. You can’t—and shouldn’t—try to erase his past.

Indoctro · 21/01/2021 21:25

Gosh I have loads of old photos of me and my ex BF on Facebook from years ago

I would be annoyed if my husband of 9 years told me to delete them, that's my past and I like my memories.

No he should not delete the photos.

Norwayreally · 21/01/2021 21:28

YABU, it’s just an old photo. I don’t think it’s normal to go back and delete any photo with an ex in.

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