To send my kids to our childcare bubble overnight?

[RagamuffinJo]

I'll try and be brief. 4DC homeschooling, all primary age and need a parent on hand. DH wfh in a high pressure, long hours job. I have my own business making custom items and I also run a virtual youth group which requires paperwork/planning.

DH leaves the house once per week to do the shopping. The rest of us do not leave the house/garden other than the occasional walk where we see no-one. (very rural)

Our childcare bubble are seeing no-one except us. They go to the same supermarket as us once a week. Childcare bubble are not confident with being able to support the DC homeschooling during the day.

DH suffers with anxiety (medicated) and I have depression (medicated). Both of us were well controlled pre-lockdown but both now having ups and downs (as you'd expect).

DH and I have been sending the DC to our childcare bubble after school hours on friday until mid afternoon saturday. We use this time to catch up on the work that is not getting done during the week. DH uses some of it to unwind (home gym) but I use it to get all my work done as I can get so little done during the week.

Was chatting with a friend on zoom and she asked how things were so I explained what we are doing. She went nuts at me that the childcare bubble 'is not for you to have time off' and 'you can only have one if you go out to work'.

I've seen nothing that states that, only that they can only provide childcare while the parents are working (which we are).

So, AIBU to send the DC overnight to our childcare bubble once a week for DH and I to catch up on work?

Childcare bubbles should only be used if you are working outside the home.

You're confusing the actual rules with what you personally think should/should not be allowed. Seems to be a lot of that about!

OP, your friend is being ridiculous. What you're doing is within the rules and does not increase the risk to anyone.

I read in the guidelines that the bubble can be used for respite, however they seem to have taken it out now! But yes, I think the use of a bubble for this is fine!

We use our bubble when working but also for respite. You can use it how you please, your friend shouldn’t be judging. Life is hard enough as it is. Try and get through as best you can, you”re not breaking any rules. Your mental and physical health are important too , more so than dogmatic made up ‘roolz’

Well as much as I thought we were in the rules as we were using it for work, I hadn't realised that actually any reason for 'childcare' was ok. so actually if DH and I are struggling we can do this for respite? That is really good to know as I wont feel guilty if we feel we need to take a break.

Thank you all for reassuring me. We have not broken a single guideline - in fact we never came out of lockdown, didn't go back to shops/resturants/amusements etc even when they did open so I think we are doing our bit to stop the spread.

At least I can be confident in telling her straight that what we are doing is within the rules if she brings it up again.

We use our childcare bubble to collect dsc as the collection time is same as pre school finish and 10 miles away.
Also if I want to go shopping as dh at work, aldi shuts at 10pm when dh gets in.
So I take the dcs to our childcare rather than drag a 2 and 1 Yr old round the shop.

I don't think you are doing anything wrong. Plus from an actual common-sense infection point of view, if both households are barely mixing outside then the risk is very low.

HOWEVER I'd be careful discussing it with friends or anyone else because some people are trying really hard not to use childcare and really struggling as a result. So I can see how people might feel a bit sore about it! Your friend may be being an arse but she may also be really struggling herself with no respite.

Overnight stays are fine and allowed in a childcare bubble, my friend who is providing my childcare is having my son overnight on Friday, its our first child free night since December 2019, I can’t wait.

She's probably just jealous, it's within the rules.

I'm jealous too to be honest, would love to have a childcare bubble to help.

What difference does it make. It doesn’t sound like it’s increasing your mixing and this risk factors so what does it matter?

1. You've done nothing wrong
2. She's an arsehole.
3. Block her. Having such miserable people as friends will really impact your mental health.

She’s usually a good friend. She’s single and has a support bubble who she stays with and visits with frequently.

Maybe it was just a bad day?

And I do know how lucky we are to have a childcare bubble and to still have jobs etc. And I Make sure not to go on about it, it was a passing comment in the conversation that made her flip.

Although on the back of this thread I might see if they can stay 2 nights so DH and I can have some true down time.

Thanks everyone!

Your friend is talking nonsense. A childcare bubble is not just if someone is working, there can be many other reasons why someone needs childcare. It’s also a lifeline to only children. (The rule is however clear that the adults should not be socialising with each other, it’s supposed to be doorstep dropoff and pickup.)

Most of our class have formed childcare bubbles. We haven’t got one unfortunately but I am keen!

I’m furloughed and we have a childcare bubble.
I’m trying to home school 4 kids and keep them quiet enough that dh can make his very confidential (and inappropriate for little ears) calls. Two days a week the 2 little ones go to my mums for the day. So I can focus on helping the bigger ones and dh schedules as many of the weeks calls as possible on those days.
Dd 6 massively struggled with the last lockdown, we were really worried about her mental health. The 2 days with Granny help everyone. Including my Mum who is also furloughed and struggling.

You do you and let your friend do what works for her. We are all in the same river but our boats are all very different. Take it easy on yourself and take no notice

It's fine, carry on.

My parents are our childcare bubble. DH and I both wfh in high pressure non-stop jobs, constantly on calls etc. We simply can't home school at the same time (only child, never stops talking!) so we have no option. DC also sleeps over one night.

I am my daughters child care support. I have my 5 year old gs everyday as she works full time and is single parent. He is coming for a sleep over tomorrow night as my daughter desperately needs a break and I want her to have a lie in on Saturday. She looked absolutely wrecked today and I'm worried about her mental health. Don't worry OP. You have weighed up the risks but its still all ok to do. Xxx

Sounds fine to me

Childcare bubbles have nothing to do with childcare for workers. The government guidelines are there for everyone to read themselves.

It's for 'informal' childcare which I would take to mean to for any reason you may need

It sounds like you have formed a support bubble rather than a childcare one. Given mental health issues I don't see a reason why you wouldn't be able to get support if this is the only house hold you are mixing with. My youngest child is autistic but because we are a 2 parent family we are not allowed a support bubble technically with my mum as she lives with her husband. However if we didn't and my eldest child was unable to have a break it would land up with one of them killing the other. We simply only mix with them when the kids reach breaking point.

You are working! Doesn’t have to be on a weekday or out of the house.

My 2 went to my MIL last weekend for the night, shes childcare bubble and sees them anyway so why not?

@ExclamationPerfume

Childcare bubbles should only be used if you are working outside the home. Neither of you are doing this.

Absolute rubbish.

It's fine OP, your friend clearly doesn't understand or has read the rules. Like some others on here.