What is your cleaning schedule? Struggling with my mental health and untidiness

[CrankyCow]

I say schedule, but that sounds a bit rigid. I just mean can people share a general idea of what tasks you do daily, and then say weekly, that helps you keep things tidy? I need something very simple broken down into chunks because I just can't manage to make it tidy.

I am having a bit of a down time thanks to an awful lot of external worries and waiting to start some medication. The house being a mess really doesn't help, it makes me feel awful and I just want to take to my bed to not have to see it or try dealing with it. I'm supposed to be job hunting, I get panicky because I'm so overwhelmed and feel ridiculous at the thought of sitting among all the chaos trying to focus on job applications let alone actual work for an employer.

I just feel really hopeless about it I want it to be tidy.

We did a couple of hours cleaning on Sunday and it just looks a complete mess again now. If we weren't in Covid times I'd be so fucking embarrassed to have anyone over.

Please help. Where do I start?

I'm also losing a bit of sanity due to a messy house and being trapped in it all day, every day. I do a load of laundry, tidy the kitchen, toys away, and tidy the living room every day, to no avail. It's just DH and 8-month-old DS. You're not alone.

Thanks all, some great suggestions here. I can't believe I couldn't work out that it is basically the clutter that is the real problem! That's why I felt like I was going mad - doing "cleaning" things so the place isn't dirty, but then all the clutter is the problem because it's such crazy untidiness it makes everything feel unclean.

Marie Kondo is too extreme for me though I think. For example with covid, there is stuff we're not using now for a couple of hobbies we can't do, and I don't want to throw that away because it would be too expensive to replace...even though it's definitely not bringing me joy right now. It's just irritating me. Maybe it can go to a storage locker until we can use it again.

I'm also losing a bit of sanity due to a messy house and being trapped in it all day, every day.

Yeah it's stifling isn't it. And I know I should be going out for energetic walks as it'd probably help, but my motibation has pissed off completely.

Hoping medication will help me do more than the odd shuffle to the shops.

Motivation, rather

@thelegohooverer

I turned our house around with this blog/podcast a slob comes clean She started out with a huge amount of stuff crammed into a small space too, and she has brilliant strategies for managing house and decluttering. She has two books that spell out her methods very simply and clearly, but it’s all in her podcasts too if you don’t want to buy them.

Was also about to recommend.

She says 1) Do the dishes every single day 2) Get rid of stuff until you feel you’ve reached your ‘clutter threshold’ i.e. when you no longer feel overwhelmed 3) focus on the most visible spaces.

There’s more, but she has a lot of sympathetic strategies for people struggling to cope - do check out her podcasts.

@Zampa

Not sure if this is the answer you're looking for but can you give yourself a break and live with some untidiness? Appreciate it may be worse for your mental health to live somewhere untidy than deal with it but be kind to yourself.

I've given up on cleaning tbh. I've enough on my plate trying to clean, cook, home school, work and exercise. Something had to give and I chose cleaning! I do the dishwasher and wipe the counters and that's pretty much it at the moment.

Agree with this. I have mental health issues and physical disabilities. I'm working at home plus home school as a single mum. I usually have a cleaner which I pay for with my disability money but obviously she doesn't come during lockdown. Kids at home all day everyday, having to make more food then ever because of no school etc and constant rain. The house is getting me down. I can't physically keep up the standards of my cleaner and I can barely even wash myself or brush my teeth.

the house is definitely bringing me down but I have to turn a blind eye to some of it otherwise I will be killing myself to get it all done.

Why is this your problem and not DH’s?

Does he think that now he’s got a wife he’s got a free pass regards housework.

Let him away with this now and once the DCs come along you’ll feel like a single parent.

He should either do his half or pay for a cleaner.

You should read wife work!

There's a list of jobso n our fridge and one of us (me or DH does it).
EG:
Monday:
Wash either bedding or towels (we're a two-weeker house, so shoot me) takes about 15 mins to strip bed, hang washing, get it back in and put away. Another 10 mins to make the fresh beds which is done while the washing machine is on.
Clean bathroom
Sweep and mop (live in Spain, tiled flat throughout)
= about an hour of work, 20 mins bathroom, 40 mins floors as we pick up toys, move the dining chairs around to get under the table, etc)

Tuesday:
Kitchen (cupboard doors, grubby light switches, quick look in fridge for furry food!)
Tidy (mostly toys, clothes, things put down in wrong places)

Wednesday:
clothes wash
Quick whizz round bathroom (toothpaste marks, wipe down mirror)

Thursday:
Ironing (not much, small person's tshirts, a couple of my tops)
Dust living room (big Kallax bookshelf, tv that attracts dust like Trump attracts wankers), and tops of pictures on the walls

Friday:
Big food shop and putting stuff away tetris!
Tidy up: entrance (shoes and coats and bags and scarves everywhere!) Living room and bedrooms.
Quick sweep around if necessary.

Each job takes between 20-40 minutes, and honestly the I'M SO GREAT GO ME lady-boner I get once I finish one task is a great high! I have to remind myself how happy I am looking at a clean bathroom after I've procrastinated so much!

If someone pops by unexpectedly (they still can here!) then I know the bathroom has had a clean in the last couple of days, not too much dog fur will be floating over the floors, and the living room won't look like such a bombsite!

I do procrastinate and put things off, but honestly thinking 'I must do the bathroom, i must do the bathroom' and actually DOING it in abput 20 minutes - 20 minutes is nothing, and I laugh at myself for putting it off!

Therer are some days/weeks where less gets done (yesterday was a write-off, for example: oven stuff for dinner on our laps because the dining table was CHOKKA!).

But small bites: what can you ignore, what are necessary?

And be kind on yourself. I do find decluttering helps - not things you want to keep, but folders full of papers that I don't need anymore, i have two sets of coasters (three including Christmas ones!), I shall be getting rid of one set, don't need them. Stacks of ld Lego and Playmobil magazines that DS isn't going to re-read (and he's done all the puzzles) - out they go.

We used to have a Chuck It Basket, so as we were tidying, things would get put in there, do the cleaning, then go through the basket and put the contents in the places they should be.

We have a ton of chargre cables, I've got a loo rooll tube for each and they sit tucked away in a drawer. Good organisation helps.

I'm supposed to be marking essays and have a stack of washing up to do!

Daily: empty dishwasher in morning, wipe kitchen down, load of laundry on/put away. Fill dishwasher again in evening, don’t leave cups in living room etc.

Every other day or so: hoover, tidy round

Weekly: bathrooms, dusting, bins etc

Big jobs like windows get done as and when.

If clutter is the issue, do you want to join us on the one-thing-a-day decluttering thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/housekeeping/4105255-The-countdown-to-Christmas-but-still-decluttering-one-item-a-day-Thread-number-15

It’s not as drastic as the Kondo method, and we’re very supportive I am like you - a messy/ dirty house affects my mental health, but we have a small house, too much stuff, and I find it hard to get rid of things. The support on the thread is really helping me.

There are 6 of us in a three bed house so I feel the pain re. the clutter. I snapped a few months back and cleared the lot, picking one room a day. Anything that hadn't been used in a year or wasn't sentimental went. Books, cds and dvds to music magpie, clothes either recycling bank or the donation boxes we have here, old toys to the flooded homes collection and anything that couldn't be reused to the local recycling place. Everything has been so much nicer for a while now. In a general week
Daily - make beds, bring down dirty clothes, wash dishes and clean down kitchen, tidy living room
Every few days - clean bathroom, dust, vacuum
Weekends - change bedding, tidy bedrooms, do all laundry, clean anything glass and touch points. Because I've cleared the house and keep on top of it, aside from the laundry each job takes half hour max. When the littles are actually in school I also do all the uniform ironing on a Sunday evening in front of the TV, we have a unit in the hallway so its laid out for them for the whole week and I don't have to stress before work in the mornings.

There was an episode of Kirsty and Phil's Love it or List It which was repeated last week, so should be available on the Channel 4 hub, where she helped a family declutter. You might find it helpful to watch. They were looking at spending £40k on an extension when they had a room stuffed to the gunnels with clutter. Once they'd had a clear out they had a perfectly usable room and didn't need to extend.

I'm a bit of a slob, so I only really have one bit of advice.

A cordless hoover is so much less hassle than one with a flex that I now hoover most days. God knows why unwinding and rewinding cable makes it seem much more of a hassle, but it does. And mine is great at hard flooring too, so hoovering living room, hallway and kitchen/diner take less time than just sweeping the kitchen did before.

Daily hoovering also has the added bonus of meaning that clutter doesn't end up piled on the floors, so things generally stay tidier without me making much of an effort, if that makes sense.

Mine's a GTech Air Ram and I love it, but I'm sure there are others that are just as good.

Actually, I've just thought of a second bit of advice. If it's feasible, get a dishwasher. It's like a cupboard for dirty dishes, and means your worktops don't get covered in washing up that no-one can be arsed to do.

@CrankyCow

Thanks all, some great suggestions here. I can't believe I couldn't work out that it is basically the clutter that is the real problem! That's why I felt like I was going mad - doing "cleaning" things so the place isn't dirty, but then all the clutter is the problem because it's such crazy untidiness it makes everything feel unclean.

Marie Kondo is too extreme for me though I think. For example with covid, there is stuff we're not using now for a couple of hobbies we can't do, and I don't want to throw that away because it would be too expensive to replace...even though it's definitely not bringing me joy right now. It's just irritating me. Maybe it can go to a storage locker until we can use it again.

Try reading her book. It then makes a lot more sense.

Your home not being in an ideal state is no reflection on your skills/performance with respect to getting and staying in paid work.

You’ve identified that an issue is that you have way too much stuff for your current housing.

This has a cost, eg lack of space, time to organise the stuff and clean and resulting stress, conflict etc. So with things you don’t currently use, eg clothes, hobby stuff, would think hard about whether, realistically, they will be used again and if so when/how often. And weigh that against the costs of the current situation.

Storage elsewhere is expensive. Unless you have a local and kind family member with a huge storage space!

We declutter quite regularly, and avoid bringing in more stuff. I’ve given away some things too good for the dump, sold a few on Facebook market place (IMO less faffy than eBay) and got rid of loads. It does get easier each time. If you’re anything like me, start with the kitchen: I’ve always got loads of stuff that’s out of date, so clearing that out would free up space for the protein powder!
Once you’ve done that, tackle each other room, one at a time.
Good luck and hope you feel better soon💐

When I had PND I had the same problem. The Health Visitor told me to spend an hour writing a list. Start in the living room so you have somewhere nice to sit and relax, however messy the rest of the place is. Do not put something general on the list like "tidy room". Do something like

1. Take dirty cups and plates to kitchen
2. Put junk mail and papers in recycling
3. Empty waste bin into a bin liner
4. Put any other rubbish in bin liner

5.Wipe windowsill with a damp cloth

1. Coffee break
2. Clean a shelf
3. Dust TV
4. Clean light switches

10. Wipe one skirting board.

As you complete each task, tick it off your list. The sense of achievement will lift you. If you get bored with it, do what I did (and still do sometimes) . I devised the tidying up game, which later was very useful to play with my kids. You start in the living room and you pick up ONE thing and take it to the room where it belongs, and put it away. Then you pick up one thing in that room and take it to the room where it belongs, and put it away. You continue like that until you eventually end up in a room with nothing out of place, and then you clean ONE thing (eg, polish a mirror, or clean a bedside table) and then you go back to the living room and start again. You should set yourself a time limit and stick to it, maybe half an hour. I used to do 10 minutes when the children were helping. Sometimes when the half hour was up I'd collapse in a heap, sometimes I'd still be keen to carry on, so I'd have a cup of tea, and see how I felt then. The next day I would do it all again, maybe for ten minutes. Set a timer.

Same OP, you’re not alone. I have long covid and my mental health has suffered. DH and I had a huge row about me ‘not pulling my weight’ 😡

So this morning I got the cream cleaner and gloves out, scrubbed bath and shower cubicle, sinks, toilets, then put bleach down them. (I used to do this monthly and just wipe the sinks and bleach loo every few days, Dettol bath etc but it was beyond that as limescale had built up).

I put a wash on and put away the dry clothes (I try to do this daily or every other day).

Marinated some chicken breasts for tomorrow. Unloaded dishwasher and refilled it, wiped down kitchen surfaces and table, replaced the kitchen roll and bleached the kitchen sink to get the stains off.

Cleaned the hob (normally do this only when dirty but DH had left it in a mess).

I try to Hoover weekly, mop floors monthly (sweep and spot clean in between).

Change bedding every couple of weeks, change towels weekly or if they smell damp.

Toaster crumb tray gets emptied about once a week.

Dusting happens when I notice cobwebs or dust. Kids like dusting!

I find it easiest to do a bit each day, and try not to let it all pile up.

De cluttering is deffo the issue here !
I’m bad for keeping crap but over the lockdown I have slowly but surely cleared every room in the house ( my DH is happy but not with the amount of trips to the tip thou 😂)
End result house is spotless everyday it’s soooo much easier to keep ontop of everything and everything has it own place xx

Sorry I'm not able to read the whole thread so apologies if it's already been suggested but here's what has finally dawned on me in the last year or so:

Whenever you are sitting/standing around having these thoughts and unable to decide where to start etc, just do anything. Whatever you are looking at that you don't like, even if it's one of the least important areas/problems, just do something, anything. It might be putting something away, throwing something out, dusting something, chucking cushion covers in the wash, whatever - just do it.

So: Every time you think about it, do something, anything.

I've started doing this as a busy parent to a chaotic toddler in a cluttered home. It's making the world of difference, both to my surroundings and motivation. I guess I was getting stuck in overwhelm and indecisiveness and feeling like I would never be able to handle the housekeeping. It's not perfect now but it's a damn sight better than it was and I feel better too :) hope that might be helpful.

Best of luck!!

Daily: kitchen surfaces, hoover, tidy each rooms and put any washing on.
Every 2-3 days: toilets
Once a week: full bathroom clean, mop/steam floor, dust everywhere
Bedding every 7-10days
Skirting boards, windows etc much more ah hoc!

We have a tidy house as DH is a diamond.

1. Have good storage. Shelves, hooks, cupboards, boxes. Helsp to attach things to walls rather than just free standing furniture. Everything to have a home. Our garage is shelved out like a warehouse! Also, store similar things together and don't accumulate so many they don't fit in the space. Cable drawer, stationery drawer, birthday card/wrapping drawer etc.

1. Keep putting things away. Normally we have cleared the kitchen into the dishwasher by bedtime so you can get up to a clean house (or tackle as soon as you get up if it was impossible at night). Also keep on top of laundry and if you don't iron, put it away ASAP.

1. Get rid of surplus items straight away. There's no just in case. Particularly beware of having too many of things - weed out extras. Eg. have you got 5 brooms? Keep the 2 best. I bet you have 2 of everything if you were 2 households.

1. If your house is more or less tidy in this way, running the vaccum round and a quick wipe over where needed is a short job not a massive operation.

So on your previous post I would have
Protein powder in the kitchen cupboard with similar "healthfood" things.
yoga mat in the room where you do yoga but tucked away behind a chair or something
Pile of papers, buy a tray and position it on a cupboard /bookcase
Purse, on a shelf near your door for purse, keys, masks etc. or in handbag.

It's not a quick job but maybe go round and look in all your existing spaces to get an over view of what's where, particularly look out for things that are kept but not in daily use, and think about how they could be organised better/sifted, make a plan first.

It's virtually impossible for a disorganised house to look tidy and then cleaning doesnt' help.

I’ve just started with The Organised Mum Method. Lockdowns and kids being home all the time make keeping on top of housework a nightmare but this is great as I can print off bits and pass to the kids to do. The idea is just to do the basics daily and then one room for 30 mins. I don’t follow to the letter but I have adapted to suit our house and I spend 1 hr per day doing 2 rooms, plus basics, which works for me.

The life changing thing for us has been to add the bathrooms onto your daily tasks rather than doing all at once. We have three bathrooms and a downstairs loo. I used to do them all on a Saturday morning and it took hours, but now the kids keep on top of theirs and every day we wipe sink and toilet (which we always have) and then do one other bathroom job. Today we did the showers, tomorrow is baths, I whizz round and do all the floors on Sat am. We take it in turns to do the downstairs loo. This makes it so much more manageable and because it takes hardly any time at all, it is easy to get the kids to do theirs too.

I got overwhelmed with stuff at one point in my life. I set myself a target of doing 15 things at a time to declutter. That might be putting 15 books into a bookshelf, or into a bag for charity shopping, or putting 15 bits of recycling into the bin, or picking 15 things off the floor/worksurface/chair and dealing with them, or 15 glass bottles out to recycling. Of course usually I’d do a bit of everything and not 15 of the same thing. 15 worked as it didn’t take long (less than 15 minutes) but was enough to make a difference. Some weeks I did it once a week, sometimes several times a day.

If it's a clutter thing my advice would be: don't buy more furniture to store it! That takes up more space. We don't have a lot of storage and have turned to under-bed drawers (the ones on their own rollers that zip up) and ottoman storage beds.

We're also in the process of clearing things out. Like, really slowly, I'm talking a drawer at a time, but it's helping!