Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Would you send them to school?

29 replies

Theowawaynow · 20/01/2021 19:31

NC as potentially outing. I have 3 DC single mum, this doesn’t concern the eldest (11) who is at a different school and homeschooling online all day so she’s fine.

I work FT in a senior role within an area of government. My meetings can run from 8am to 9pm and are full on. That’s forgetting my actual work out of meetings I need to do. My day currently starts at 7am and rarely do I sit down before 1/2am.

The younger two I was trying with but have failed at homeschooling understandably and the reason I’m up so late is doing more work, just giving them some time with me before sleep then clearing the destruction of the house they have made being ignored all day and prepping food and (ignored) learning plans and independent play activities for the following day just to cope. My head is above water just about, they are loved and safe and not too bored as I drain myself to make sure of it. But they miss school and friends obviously and are getting increasingly more into arguing and stress.

School have called me and said that they have picked up that I am a keyworker from my email signature (I am), that they know my situation at home and while they have no concerns the kids are unsafe, or that luckily they can catch them up (they are bright luckily and ahead), they are thinking of me and my need for some space to cope. They have offered 3 days a week proactively. Which was incredibly lovely of them.

BUT I’m worried I’m all the kids have if I were to get ill. I am also worried my support bubble would no longer allow me to be that if the kids are at risk of exposure. I only see my bubble one day on a weekend but it’s a godsend for the eldest as she has her friend there. Also I’m not a nurse or Dr it would be BAD if I didn’t do my job but the country wouldn’t roll to a standstill ha. Although my own finances would be fucked (dad not in the picture).

So I’m totally torn and can’t decide!

AIBU - to send them in
AINBU - to not send them

OP posts:

roseylemonade · 20/01/2021 19:33

100% send them

Theunamedcat · 20/01/2021 19:36

Send them in you cant continue to burn the candle like this you will burn out and that helps no one

Chathamhouserules · 20/01/2021 19:39

Not sure- that support bubble seems worth keeping... how much work could you do if its 9-3? Would it make a huge difference.
I'd be very tempted but a lot to weigh up. Sorry that's not very helpful.

rainylake · 20/01/2021 19:50

Send them. The school is happy with it and has offered. They wouldn't have offered if they didn't think you had a genuine need. It's not healthy or sustainable for you to carry on as you are and this could go on for some time to come.

Namechange600 · 20/01/2021 19:59

I would send them in too

Topsy44 · 20/01/2021 19:59

Definitely send them in!

SomersetHamlyn · 20/01/2021 20:02

I would not send them. Nightmare if you get ill.

TragicRabbit · 20/01/2021 20:09

Think of the absolute worst scenario and go from there.

Getoutofbed25 · 20/01/2021 20:09

I wouldn’t send them to school, if they were to bring Covid home it would impact not only you but your support bubble. If you were to become ill who would be there for the children? It’s a risk some families have to take but if your at home I’d keep the kids home and muddle through

Justgorgeous · 20/01/2021 20:12

100% send them in. You are doing an incredible job but you can’t sustain this.

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 20/01/2021 20:12

The more kids go to school, the more risk of the virus spreading. I am not being goady, my kids primary school already has 3 year groups sent into isolation! It's barely been 3 weeks!

rookiemere · 20/01/2021 20:15

I would send them in. If it isn't helping then take them out after a couple of weeks. Overall your workload doesn't seem generally sustainable though - has it always been this heavy?

Justgorgeous · 20/01/2021 20:15

My son has been in secondary school through every lockdown and we still as a family of 5 have not caught Covid (that I know of) Good luck with whatever decision you decide to make though.

RowanAlong · 20/01/2021 20:23

Don’t ask Mumsnet - just send them in for all your sakes!

Ameliablue · 20/01/2021 20:23

I think you should discuss with your support bubble. The advantages in terms of getting your work done are clear but there isn't really enough information on the downside and how significant these are.

bakingdemon · 20/01/2021 20:25

100% send them in. It'll be better for them, and you

blueberryporridge · 20/01/2021 20:25

This.

optimisticpessimist01 · 20/01/2021 20:30

I'm a teacher in a secondary school. Coronavirus was spreading like wildfire when schools were open, we had 50 students and staff testing positive in the last week of term. It spreads worse in schools than people realise.

I don't mean to scare you but if you are really concerned about your children getting ill I thought you should be aware.

For what its worth in your situation I absolutely would send them in, the reward of them receiving a better education in school by far outweighs the risk of them getting it. My school has had over 150 positive cases and none of them were seriously ill, most of them just had a loss of taste and smell and felt a bit tired for a few days.

Daisychainsandglitter · 20/01/2021 20:36

I would send them in without hesitation

Livinginatree · 20/01/2021 20:40

Depends on what the rate is around you. High no I wouldn't, low enough to cope with the thought of them going in, yes I would.

MarshaBradyo · 20/01/2021 20:43

I don’t quite get the vote but send them in

Yanbu to do that

How many dc are in their class currently do you know?

birdseeder · 20/01/2021 20:45

I am in a similar position and school have offered us spaces for my 2 this week. I am so grateful

FASDE1517 · 20/01/2021 20:52

I would absolutely send them in.

Original poster

Theowawaynow · 20/01/2021 20:58

Ha thank you, as torn as me! In response to a couple of posters:

workload sustainability - always been intense but this last year has been insane. BREXIT impacts, Covid affects on the area I look after plus a few big shifts in the landscape and you have a perfect storm. Plus I used to have good family/childcare help and now have none.

Bubble - interesting one as it would be a loss, but one of the adults is actually a teacher. Currently WFH but will at some point be called in to their (larger) school to do her keyworker kid stint. Though as a teacher she can be more cautious than kids generally mixing.

Other considerations, ex is largely absent and financially not in the picture but did used to see them on holidays. He may ask to have them Feb half term at which point I’ll have to isolate from my bubble for 2 weeks as he’s not the most responsible man but I can’t and wouldn’t block him when he hasn’t bothered since October.

School is small in a rural area. no cases during term time as yet, no classes ever sent home but that could be a false sense of security...

What would a few hours buy me is an interesting question! I suppose pros would be all emotional, I’d feel less guilty ignoring the kids because they’d be getting some weekly external stimulation. I could potentially even block out an hour in my diary that is absolutely sacrosanct to just be me! Go to the shop, walk, read! Feel less trapped for a moment.

But cons - guilt, guilty I’ll be part of the spread potentially, horribly guilty if kids got it or were ill or if their teacher got it. Guilt I couldn’t “manage” without giving in...

Argh I just don’t know.

OP posts:

Original poster

Theowawaynow · 20/01/2021 21:01

Their class size is capped at 12.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2