To feel like an imposter at work?

[Penguin81]

I am a mental health nurse, qualified for 7 years.
I constantly feel that i dont know enough, and seek advice from others in situations, as not confident in my abilities or knowledge. I have a hard time retaining information, and often worry I will be exposed as a fraud
does anybody else feel this way? would hate to give up nursing, but still feel the responsibility is beyond my capabilities

Hopeful bump!

No proper advice op, but I think there's something common called imposter syndrome like you describe. A Google of that may help :)

Me! Different profession but, yeah, it's so demoralising!

I don't know what to suggest. Perhaps other posters may have experience.

Definitely imposter syndrome. I’m a teacher with 30+ years of experience. I’ve been Head of Department in 2 very different schools. I have had very few issues with parents. My results have been good. I’ve backed off to supply now, and the school I’ve been in for 12 months covering a maternity leave has just offered me another term later in the year.
I’m still waiting for someone to spot I’m really useless.

Yes, I often feel like this. I was promoted to the leadership team of a primary school four years ago and still feel like an imposter.

Do you have a good relationship with your line manager? I am lucky in this regard and I know that if she gives me positive feedback, it isn’t just to keep me happy.

I’m sure you’re doing a great job. A family friend is the Finance Director of an extremely large, FTSE listed company, and he has described feeling exactly the same way, despite nearly 40 years experience and numerous awards/accolades! I think this is an extremely common feeling. I’ve just started a new job so I definitely AM a useless imposter at the moment.....

Yes! Just graduated medical school last year and I feel that way. It gives me so much anxiety I think about changing careers.

Yep, had that every day for 10+ years as a vet, I think we’re sometimes the worst at knowing our own worth or reflecting back on how far we’ve come and what we do know/can do with our eyes shut... but in so many ways its better than overconfidence.

Do we know if men feel like this? Is it a patriarchal issue?

@cardibach

I’m sure it’s not! Although, I think it effects women more. We overthink ( at least from observing the women in my life).

By patriarchal, do you think it’s in some way men’s fault that we feel like this ?

I totally relate. I'm very senior in a large company, have received nothing but plaudits for my work there over the years yet when I'm in a room with my peers, you can bet I'll be worrying someone is going to realise I'm shit. And out of 25 at my level, only 5 of us are women. I'm sure part of me feeling this way is to do with that. For me though it's also to do with my background, i'm from a disadvantaged background and mostly the men I'm surrounded by are public school. I gave a speech to female colleagues on this topic a little while back and it was unbelievable how many of the audience said they felt like this.

Me too. Finance Director of a large (900 employee) public sector organisation. Years of experience - everyone else thinks I'm good - me less so...

Lack of confidence & self esteem at work can be crippling IME. If you struggle retaining information, can you text it to yourself? I found this really helped when I was depressed & my brain went to mush & my short term memory went AWOL . Also,it sounds mad but writing a list of your good points & what you're good at & sticking it somewhere you'll see regularly like the mirror or your kettle helps. Writing it down gives it more weight & seeing it all the time helps make your brain more used to positive not negative thoughts ( which can spiral you down & self sabotages you). It was best advice a Counsellor ever gave me re self esteem. I was so used to being horrible to myself ,it had got to be a habit that was so automatic, it was incredibly hard to break.

Yup, imposter syndrome is definitely a thing.

More women talk about it but then more women are socialised to share feelings more than men. The few men I am close enough to to talk honestly, also have a touch of this.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome

Yes! Another sufferrer here. I'm totally with you. I've downgraded my profession recently as I found working in my position so emotionally draining - constantly worried people would find out that I don't know anything about anything. I defo need some counselling. I get terrible anxiety about setting for in the workplace!

*foot

The thing is with nursing you learn every day every shift you encounter something new 7 years isn't that long don't give yourself set a hard time as long as you are not endangering patients what areas are you not confident in? Ask to be put on training courses do your own research don't give up . The fact you are worrying shows you care about your job and patients the NHS needs people like you x

I absolutely know how you feel, I doubt myself all the time. I always feel like I need to 'prove' to everyone (not sure who exactly probably myself) that I should be doing the job I'm doing. No amount of positive feedback or good results can shake my feelings of sheer incompetence or that I am the weakest link.
I think some good can come from it as we will not get complacent in our work and this can only be a good thing.
My anxiety was really high around August, sept time and honestly thought about packing it in but when I really take a step back I know deep down I'm as good as anyone else.
It really is horrible though, I hope you can find some acceptance of your own abilities. I'm sure you are a brilliant nurse

[quote Baycob]@cardibach

I’m sure it’s not! Although, I think it effects women more. We overthink ( at least from observing the women in my life).

By patriarchal, do you think it’s in some way men’s fault that we feel like this ?[/quote]
Not individual men, no - but the way society is organised which tends to give men the confidence that they are supposed to be powerful/successful and doesn’t tend to do the same for women.
Do men suffer from imposter syndrome?

Its a lot easier for me to see this in someone else than in myself. I am very lucky to have one team member in a different area but we sometime can cover for each other. In the days when we worked in the CD office I got to know her well enough that I could tell just from her body language (very subtle, no one else would see) that she was sliding into it.

Quick trip for a coffee or if time short stand in the emergency exit and talk it through. Having each seen it in the other, we had almost a shorthand to remind each other how brilliant they are and it's just because you are doing 'that thing'.

Having built confidence, I have been able to open up to others about what I sometimes do. Actually saying out loud in a meeting oh, goodness, I hadn't thought of that, that's a great idea can feel really good.

Especially if you do normally treat people decently they will have your back when it hits you. Sometimes just by not noticing whatever it was that made you start to doubt yourself.

As PP pointed out, increasingly we need to keep learning throughout our lives so there will always be times we don't know stuff. Getting comfortable with that can really help you grow.

Good luck.

This is me! I have been in my role for 20 years and have imposter syndrome. I know more about my role than most of my colleagues and have more qualifications too but still feel like I don’t know enough or am not good enough. It doesn’t help when some colleagues tell me that I need to be better at x y z when they know or do very little about the aforementioned x y z. It does chip away at my confidence. I am not white and wonder if that has anything to do with the criticism that I receive. I work in an all white workplace.

Me too! I've got 35 years' work experience, loads of qualifications and I don't make errors but I feel like a complete fraud. I've been in my current role for around 5 months, pretty much taught myself out of a book so I KNOW I'm not dim.

I know, objectively, that my work is good. I'm thorough and conscientious. But a frequently feel anxious to the point of almost throwing up.

If I make an error I absolutely stew. I can't seem to get any sense of proportion.

I've no idea why I feel this way but I'm so glad I've found my people. .

I don't think men feel this way, or if they do, I've never come across it. Men seem to be innately more confident somehow.

I’m glad you started this thread OP, you’re definitely not alone.
I’m in a very senior position in a global company, having worked my way up in my 25yr career. My degree was in the arts. As fantastic as it was, there wasn’t a career path as such and I fell into this particular industry 20 years ago and worked my socks off to get where I am now. But... since as long as I can remember, I have never felt good enough at work. I’m waiting to be ‘outed’, I stew over the smallest detail, I am physically ill before doing presentations, and there are days I just want to run away and get a job where I don’t have the same pressure.

Since having children that’s got worse actually. Juggling a full time demanding career with raising two DDs, especially when they were younger, has crippled my confidence at work.

I sympathise I really do.