Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours with group of friends on garden

91 replies

FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 20/01/2021 16:33

Sorry another COVID post but I need to rant and I'm fuming. My neighbours across the road have invited a group of friends over to exercise on the garden. I'm trying to WFH and I can hear them yelling and clanging weights around. There is a child there too.

My life, and so many peoples, are on hold at the moment and these people are brazenly flouting the rules. They garden is in the view of most people on our street (due the set up of our estate).

DH has told me to ignore it and mind my own business but I'm furious over their total lack of respect and regard for other people. Why do some people feel the rules and guidelines don't apply to them!?

So I don't really know what my AIBU is - I guess it would be what would you do? Report it or keep your head down and ignore it?

OP posts:
m0therofdragons · 20/01/2021 18:23

Unfortunately the risk outside isn’t that low with the new strain. My cousin was on a shoot in December in Surrey, felt they’d followed the rules, she’s a nurse and was happy they were distanced yet everyone on the shoot got covid. She’s only finally feeling better now.

I probably wouldn’t call police but I’d judge them. The issue is they will all go into shops and spread it to those of us who only go out for work and shops!

m0therofdragons · 20/01/2021 18:24

@steventatlock but that’s not the same as a mixed gathering with weights in your garden! Don’t be so sensitive; this post isn’t about you!

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 20/01/2021 18:25

@steventatlock

You are the kind of neighbour I would hate right now. Watching my dad coming in and out of my house, no idea of my personal circumstances... watching my son go to school despite me being at home all day and judging me
Don't try to make me out to be a nasty person. Someone's dad going in and out a house is MUCH different to a large group of men congregating very closely on someone's garden.
OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 20/01/2021 18:27

[quote m0therofdragons]@steventatlock but that’s not the same as a mixed gathering with weights in your garden! Don’t be so sensitive; this post isn’t about you![/quote]
Thanks @m0therofdragons

One person is very different to a big group of grown men!

OP posts:
m0therofdragons · 20/01/2021 18:31

@FrostyChocolateMilkshake I’ve seen so many posts like this where mn are outraged anyone would call the police as it makes you a grass and the baddie even though they are the ones breaking the law. I wonder where their line is re reporting crime? Murder - can you report that or are you still a grass? Having spent 3 hours on icu yesterday speaking to a nurse who was upset after a man died of covid leaving his wife who was 38 weeks pregnant, my tolerance for these utter shits is low; not because I’m a horrible person I just understand the importance of the rules and the impact not following them can have!

steventatlock · 20/01/2021 18:32

But the point remains, you don’t know people’s circumstances! Just focus on your own family and life and let people do what they think is best for them! I am still meeting up with friends/family etc and people can just get over it or be all angry but it doesn’t affect me either way

CalishataFolkart · 20/01/2021 18:33

We know that Covid kills people. This is not a “moral objection,” this is someone objecting to a group of people engaging in potentially life-threatening behaviour. I know that will be labelled hyperbole and hysteria but we had record numbers of deaths again today.

At what point are we allowed to report someone for putting other people’s lives at risk without being told to mind our own business?

Would it be Orwellian to report a neighbour who was assaulting their wife? We used to be told to mind our own business about that as well.

stayathomer · 20/01/2021 18:33

Really the risk outside is very low. The reason we are not allowed to meet outside is because people take it further.
The risk is only low if there's nobody about. It's not just the obvious floaters, it's a situation forcing you together, maybe a car pulling up and you all have to move. Or people slip up and lean in closer to chat etc. Where there's people there's always risk

LakieLady · 20/01/2021 18:38

@StopTheTrainWantToGetOff

Maybe they have all had covid? Maybe they have been vaccinated?

We need to get some risk based measures in place. We have all had covid in our house in the past 3 months as have our neighbours. We are all working from home. Other than walking the dog/s we have not been out since January 3rd.

The risk is minimal.
We are not socialising with them but it is all a bit pointless.

Even if they had been vaccinated, that doesn't mean they can't transmit the virus to others, apparently.

I had my vaccination today, and they made a big deal of this.

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 20/01/2021 18:39

@steventatlock

But the point remains, you don’t know people’s circumstances! Just focus on your own family and life and let people do what they think is best for them! I am still meeting up with friends/family etc and people can just get over it or be all angry but it doesn’t affect me either way
You sound a very angry, selfish person really. No consideration for others. I'm certainly glad I don't have you as a neighbour. Probably spreading covid left, right and centre with that flippant attitude!
OP posts:
Bunnyrun5 · 20/01/2021 18:49

I’m always amazed when some peoples response to these scenarios is ‘it’s none of your business’
Well yes actually it is, whilst you may not mix directly with them they potentially could be spreading virus between them then within community which ultimately increases the numbers of people catching it. So I feel it is all our businesses and there are rules to be followed no mixing with other households, they are so report them. I’ve reported a neighbour in similar circumstances the police called gave them a lecture and they are no longer having groups of friends n family in their homes. Police were pleased I’d reported them and they did not disclose who’d reported them if you are worried about conflict.

alphabetsoup1980 · 20/01/2021 18:52

oh grow up. 99% of the guff on here could be on other boards!

mummabubs · 20/01/2021 18:54

I think some people have a false sense of security in having either already had covid (research shows that the majority of people sged antibodies after infection to the point that their antibodies are undetectable in some cases only a few months later); or people think if they've had the first dose of vaccine then they can go about life as normal. You're not completely immune (even after both doses) and also as others have alluded to, you can potentially still transmit the virus to others even after vaccination. And to those who say it's very low risk to catch it outside, not the case with the "new" strain.
As a fed up NHS worker I feel the same anger you do OP, and if I felt I could report that anonymously I would have done. This situation is frustrating for all of us, but the selfishness and/or ignorance of people who choose not to follow the law / guidance in general really irks me.

steventatlock · 20/01/2021 18:56

@FrostyChocolateMilkshake I probably am but Covid is not the most important thing in my world right now

OfaFrenchmind2 · 20/01/2021 19:00

You seem stressed OP. And bored, which is an awful combination and make a normal person an asshole.
I would advise one nice activity you can do in the safety of your own home that would drastically improve your mood and character, but that would be crass. But seriously, do it.

ktp100 · 20/01/2021 19:10

I wouldn't feel happy to complain but it is really annoying & utterly stupid, yes.

If just one of them are asymptomatic they could all be down with it by next week and even in the unlikely event that this is their one and only rule break they could still innocently infect other people in the supermarket etc and bring down many other people/families.

People want to have their cake and eat it at the moment. They scoff at the 'Covid Police' whilst simultaneously being pissed off that the numbers are so high and somehow the fact that if everyone was being as responsible as the 'Covid Police' we'd be in a much better position seems to be lost on them!

It's hardly rocket science, is it?!

It's just infuriating, really.

Polyxena · 20/01/2021 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 20/01/2021 19:37

@Polyxena

I'm aware there is a covid board but I thought this was more appropriate for AIBU to get different opinions.

Some of us are sick of COVID posts being jammed into every other topic just so the OP can feel like ‘enough’ people have seen their post.

YABU.

Thanks for the useful advice dear.
OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 20/01/2021 19:38

@OfaFrenchmind2

You seem stressed OP. And bored, which is an awful combination and make a normal person an asshole. I would advise one nice activity you can do in the safety of your own home that would drastically improve your mood and character, but that would be crass. But seriously, do it.
I'm not particularly stressed (I mean I was earlier when I saw them in the garden!) but I work full time, although mostly from home at the moment. I keep myself as busy as possible.
OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 20/01/2021 19:39

@alphabetsoup1980

oh grow up. 99% of the guff on here could be on other boards!
Me grow up? What have I done to be deemed immature? Confused odd comment!
OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 20/01/2021 19:40

Thanks for the responses all. Some good advice here and it is comforting in a way to know others feel as strongly as me.
Stay safe everyone.

OP posts:
Original poster
FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 20/01/2021 19:41

[quote steventatlock]@FrostyChocolateMilkshake I probably am but Covid is not the most important thing in my world right now[/quote]
Fair enough. I wish I was more that way inclined rather than putting my life on hold for what seems like forever.

OP posts:
Thesearmsofmine · 20/01/2021 19:53

I’ve always been one of the people who has said not to report these type of things but I am at the point now where my tolerance has hit rock bottom and I would absolutely report them.
I am sick of selfish people just doing as they please, merrily spending the virus and making life harder for the rest of us.

underneaththeash · 20/01/2021 19:59

@CaramelE150d but it is everyone's problem. That's why we're in lockdown. I don't think the OP is either out of the UK or her neighbours are health care providers or diplomats so why would her neighbours be allowed to have people in their garden when no-one else can?

ginswinger · 20/01/2021 20:26

I am waiting on an operation for cancer which I can't get because the hospital is too full of covid patients at the moment. Please do report them so I stand a chance of having my operation which I really, really need.