To not really want to go to flatmate's dinner party?

[miceymie]

My flatmate/landlord is having a dinner party and I'm invited. There is a curfew where we are so I don't really have any other option but to go (unless I just awkwardly stay in my bedroom). Am I being awkward to not want to go?

Hmm it's a tricky one. I can see both sides, you've every right and reason not to go but as someone who's been in a situation with flatmates who literally just stayed in their rooms all the time it was awkward and horrible, there's always a bit of a weird atmosphere. I'd go for a bit then just say you're tired. It's rude to be flatmates and not socialise at all.

Just suck it up and go. Less embarrassing than lurking in your room. Unless you can visit somebody.

"I don't live in the UK but I won't say where I do live, because it would be outing."

How would it be outing - are you not one of several million inhabitants of whatever country it is?

I’d go to a dinner party with people I hate atm!

Just say you'd rather not because of covid and say you'll let them crack on with it.

Yes, @DumplingsAndStew you're right! I only thought of that once I wrote it down - will find something else to do until curfew time.

(where did you get that quote from though? I didn't say that but it is true, yes, haha)

@Robbybobtail

I’d go to a dinner party with people I hate atm!

So would I lol

So you live with these people. Don’t like them

Why do you live /house share with them

Envy now

Oh to be invited to dinner with other people or be allowed to go out till 10pm

Can’t imagine U.K. having that curfew

@MrsFezziwig

"I don't live in the UK but I won't say where I do live, because it would be outing."

How would it be outing - are you not one of several million inhabitants of whatever country it is?

I didn't say that!

Just tell them you've got the shits

@WorraLiberty

Just tell them you've got the shits

hahaha

I would just go. I am not a big socaliser at all but because of lockdown, it would be something to do and you might actually enjoy it. I agree with you that there would be an awkwardness to the fact you're sitting on the other side of the door when you were invited.

If you've decided you don't want to go, that's fine. I would personally take part rather than risk ruining your relationship with the person for the sake of a few hours. You could always go to bed after a while, make your excuses and leave.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I think I will either find something else to do until curfew time, and if that's not possible, I will just go (and hope they don't have covid).

@Robbybobtail I’d go to a dinner party with the Trumps at this juncture 😞

Say you have a fever. They’ll leave you well alone!

Even if I didn't much feel like it the only reason I'd duck out completely is if the guests were actively unpleasant. If they're just a bit dull it's much easier and less awkward to go along for a bit then call it an early night. Enjoy the food and wine if nothing else. Maybe if the house was bigger you could get away with it but not on the other side of the door.

Unless you have plausible work or studies that you really, really need to be getting on with? Wander through at some point and say hi (that's only polite) but get back to something you HAVE to get on with.

I don't know where you live but I'm surprised that the Covid situation would be on the one hand serious enough there to require a curfew, and on the other hand mild enough for an indoor dinner party even to be possible. If this party is against the rules, then you have a perfect reason to avoid attending. Even if not, you're not obliged to be there; you can just stay in your room and relax or catch up on some work.

@miceymie

My flatmate/landlord is having a dinner party and I'm invited. There is a curfew where we are so I don't really have any other option but to go (unless I just awkwardly stay in my bedroom). Am I being awkward to not want to go?

What a pity you have developed that terrible cough just before the dinner party you were soooo looking forward. You had better self-isolate in your room. I mean, you just couldn't live with yourself if you passed it on to the guests. 🤧😷🤒

I feel like "global pandemic" is as good a reason as any to skip a dinner party!

Just say you can't go, cos Covid!

I'd go and cough a lot

Covid is a good enough reason to say you don't want to go

The background is also relevant though. Do you get along with flatmate? Do you have a history of them making an effort and you resisting? Something to think about but you don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

You could always feign a migraine or something and just relax in your room? X

He's just being polite, doubt he really wants you there

I would definitely sit down for the free food and drink, then get a 'headache' shortly afterwards and go to bed

Can you get massively pissed ?

Unless your walls are that thin you can hear them chewing, just stay in your room if you don't want to join.

Headphones on in your room and hunker down, and smile and wave if you cross paths to the loo or whatever.