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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To barely be doing the school work

79 replies

Breezing32 · 20/01/2021 15:41

My daughter's school work is so complex for five. Her maths is all complicated stuff that all adults I've shown have struggled to understand without quite abit of thought. We have awful tinny videos to watch from her teacher's every day. I've got a toddler here all day rubbing riot. I just can not keep up. The day is like this.

9.20 half an hour live registration.

Each day a 20 minute English lesson video. Hard to hear. Toddler wanting to join in. Shouting over it. Volume on my phone and laptop is not loud enough if there's any background noise.

Repeat the same for maths. Also new ways of doing it from my school days so I can't seem to get it to stick in her head.

A phonics lesson. We usually manage this.

Spelling tests each week.

Science lesson each week.

Pe section.

Assembly for 20 minutes each day.

After noon check in at 3.20 for 20 minutes.

Phe lesson a couple of times a week.

So they basically want us as parents to teach the kids a full school day each day. Check in twice. Watch an assembly.

I wish I could. But my toddler does not sleep now and he's not burning any energy of himself with me trying to do all this. I'm trying to potty train. Run a house. Have time for my boyfriend. Cook. Care for myself and get us our for excercise.

I am not alone. My situation isn't the hardest. But my daughter is falling behind because there's just not a quiet part of the day she can concentrate.

I am overwhelmed and exhausted by it all.

What are other people's schools doing?
How are you coping?

OP posts:
Squashpocket · 20/01/2021 15:59

Exactly then same situation - I mean literally everything except the live registration. I wouldn't say we're doing brilliantly, but the way I'm doing it is:

8 - 9am - phonics lesson before DH goes to work, so he can watch our toddler

9am - 11am - any of the activities set that my toddler could reasonably be expected to join in on (craft, pe, little science experiments, art). If nothing can be done with the toddler around, I just skip it

12pm - 1pm - DH watches the toddler on his lunch break while DS1 and I blast through the maths and handwriting tasks

1pm - 3pm - kids play together while I do chores and sit down for a second. If the kids are fighting I put on a movie or something. I insist that this part of the day is relatively quiet.

3pm - 5pm - I play games, do crafts with both kids or we go to the park if the weather isn't dire.

5pm - DH finishes work and one of us will hear ds1 read while the other cooks, cleans and watches the toddler.

I only make sure we do phonics, handwriting, maths and reading as non-negotiable and DH has just had to be more helpful than usual. It's not exactly a massively onerous extra task for him really considering we're literally HOMESCHOOLING NOW.

Potty training is going very very badly and I'm considering sticking the toddler back in nappies because the house is starting to smell like wee, so I have nothing helpful to add on that front.

Stompythedinosaur · 20/01/2021 16:05

Woukd headphones help her to be able to hear when your youngest is being loud?

We find having a clear routine helpful in making sure there are times when the dc know they have to do schoolwork.

Being honest I think that supporting your dd's schoolwork should be a higher priority than making time for your boyfriend. And lots of people have to do the work of running a household outside working hours.

Squashpocket · 20/01/2021 16:06

Also, same problem with the terrible tinny videos, so I just watch the maths and phonics ones the night before - ours are only about 10 mins and I can kind of summarise it for him if necessary.

I had to look up the maths stuff on YouTube - I had no idea what part part whole or tens frames were or what he was supposed to be getting from the lessons, so seeing an explanation on YouTube was helpful.

jgjgjgjgjg · 20/01/2021 16:21

Why do you and the toddler have to be in the same room? Leave her with the phone so that she can hear the teacher properly!

And seriously, you can't handle maths at the level of a 5 year old? That's either Reception or Yr 1. I suggest you get some of the workbooks that are very easily available at see how they present it. Or pick up the phone/email her teacher and talk it through.

marshmallowfluffy · 20/01/2021 16:25

You're doing your best and nobody can expect more than that. Have you thought of investing in a speaker to improve sound quality? I think Alexas can be used as speakers (?)

She's 5 years old - some maths, writing and reading will be good for her so squeeze it in when you can and if you can but it's hard and you shouldn't feel bad.

PurpleMustang · 20/01/2021 16:32

Contact the school about the maths. When mine was young they had a parents evening to explain how the maths is now changed and examples of how it is worked out. They also put a link on to their website for parents to explain it all. If they can't help they should be able to guide you to something on YouTube to watch. The new way is beyond ridiculous 🙄

Honeybobbin · 20/01/2021 16:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GlowingOrb · 20/01/2021 16:38

Get her some headphones and distract the toddler.

If you can’t do the math, post it here. Lots of us love working a good math problem. It’s also ok to teach multiple ways of solving a problem,
So if you learned it one way, teach her that way first, then do the schools method. Once you have done the old way, the new way often makes a bit more sense. But again, love to help out with the math online. For me they are run brain teasers, trying to figure out what on earth the teachers are asking for. We should have a thread just for that.

formerbabe · 20/01/2021 16:42

If I was you I'd just concentrate on the phonics and maths. They're the most important

Marmunia1975 · 20/01/2021 16:56

OP are you joking? Do you work as well??

StacySoloman · 20/01/2021 17:01

Concentrate on the phonics and maths.
Get her some headphones and keep the toddler in the other room during those sessions.
Watch some numberblocks every day - maybe you could get a simple reception/year 1 maths workbook and do a page with her every day once dad is home? They’re about £3-£5 on Amazon.
Read to her and listen to her read every day. You can use the Oxford Owl website for free reading books.

StacySoloman · 20/01/2021 17:04

One other idea is to get her to write a diary entry a few times a week, just to keep her in the habit of writing a couple of sentences.

Honestly, she’s 5 - you just need to keep the basics ticking over.

Feelingconfused2020 · 20/01/2021 17:07

Maths really hasn't changed. What is it you are struggling with particularly, at 5? Perhaps we can help you get your head round it.

Your not unreasonable to be struggling, we all are, but you need to get the maths thing sorted because not being able to do age 5 maths is a concern.

Marzipan12 · 20/01/2021 17:07

Far to much for a 5 year old. I insist my year 8 completes all his lessons but a 5 year old is completely different x

WhoUsedMyName · 20/01/2021 17:09

I feel your pain it's not easy but maybe a few things to help. My maths is really bad so I get up at 6.30/7am sort myself out and give myself an hour to get to grips with the lessons so I can show dc how to do them. At the age of 28 I've learnt fractions this week! We all do baking as a lesson soo I get rewarded too 😂 & we all do PE together well they do as I kinda half heartedly move about abit behind them 🤦🏼‍♀️

RoomOfRequirement · 20/01/2021 17:10

This thread proves teachers can not win. Half the threads are complaining they're doing too much, half not enough. I work in the NHS but you couldn't pay me enough to be a teacher right now.

Feelingconfused2020 · 20/01/2021 17:10

Squashpocket we tried to potty train in the march/April lockdown. It was a nightmare. We gave up and got to grips with it in summer. I think they can sense that things aren't normal and that you are stressed and so it's not a great time.

Rainallnight · 20/01/2021 17:13

I think anyone potty training and trying to home school at the moment should chuck the potty training!

OP, it’s very hard when you have a toddler around too. Mine wrecks the place every time I try to do anything with DD

SavoyCabbage · 20/01/2021 17:13

I think a lot of parents are surprised at how intense the work is at school now they are seeing it for themselves.

The problem is that much of the work that the children are doing now it catch up from the last lockdown. So if she misses it this time then that's it.

I agree that you should focus on the maths and phonics and also that she needs headphones. You need to make sure that she has the opportunity to access the work so you need to provide her with a quiet place.

NotSure94 · 20/01/2021 17:14

Pick your battles.

My son is Y6 and for sanity we sack off the assembly, PE and storytime and focus on maths english and topic, but I expect him to do these thoroughly which he does and by himself but he has to as I'm on bloody zoom all day for work.

Pare down how much you do, I'd focus on maths, some writing to keep the penmanship going, sod fronted adverbials, like someone else said a daily diary might be simpler. Some spellings perhaps. That does seem overwhelming for a 5 year old so YADNBU and yes it's absolutely impossible and I wish homeschooling WFH parents got so much more credit for what we do!

katy1213 · 20/01/2021 17:14

She's only five. Just switch off and do some reading and sums with her.

Pinkflipflop85 · 20/01/2021 17:14

I feel your pain with the tinny videos.

We are being asked to record videos daily to upload - but we haven't been provided with any tech to do it, so we are relying on whatever we have at home/in school (which is ancient) and trying to muddle through with free versions of recording software.

It's bloody shit for all involved.

TechGinny · 20/01/2021 17:15

I'm struggling to get much sympathy together tbh, OP. I've got three primary children here, all doing worksheets, teams meetings multiple times a day, all using different platforms and websites. I don't have a partner to share the load, and I've likely got covid as well (waiting for results), so I feel like shit. Plus trying to fit work in round all of that. Just need to put your big girl pants on, get organised the night before and invest in some headphones for the lessons.

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 20/01/2021 17:15

I'm a bit Hmm at the maths thing. My 5 year old is doing addition and subtraction. Bit odd if you're finding that hard.
Other than that just do what you can. If you can't make every lesson and assembly just don't.

Squashpocket · 20/01/2021 17:16

@Feelingconfused2020 he was doing brilliantly before lockdown, but he has basically given up now and I'm not far behind.

This home schooling situation has upset my 2 year old much more than my reception age child. As far as my toddler is concerned I've stolen his playmate, given his brother all the attention and ignored him for large chunks of the day when before he had 100% of my attention while his brother was at school. So he's throwing a massive toddler wobbler all day long. It's really sad 😞