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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

This 'advice' from Supernanny is sexist and doesn't reflect reality

17 replies

OverTheRubicon · 20/01/2021 14:35

Was looking up advice about selling a family home in divorce and when the Supernanny site came up, thought that perhaps it would have good advice on supporting children through it.

Instead I was surprised to see - among some more objective advice - this... "There is no longer a “guilty party” in a divorce. The fact that the wife may have slept with half her husband's friends and used his credit card to fund her adulterous hotel bills may make her a bad wife but not, in the courts' view, a bad mother... Frequently, therefore, the father will find himself banished to a poky studio flat, while his wife – and possibly even her lover – lives with his children in the house he paid for. And he will have to cough up maintenance for the children until they reach 17 (or 19 if in full-time education). Only at that far-off stage – providing this was written into the divorce settlement – will the matrimonial property be sold and the proceeds divided between him and his former wife.". It also talks about how women often 'relied on their man' to save.

Needless to say, this does not reflect the reality of the vast majority of single mothers I know, who usually were left by men (or treated in a way that left them no real option but separation), often struggle to get even the pitiful amounts that CMS insists on for lower income and self employed fathers, and usually have to sell the family home asap and rent.

www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Family-Matters/-/Relationships/Who-Gets-the-House.aspx

Aibu to think this is Men's Rights Activist type BS and inappropriate for a website and topic that people would be turning to at an already traumatic time?

OP posts:
BlueGreenDreams · 20/01/2021 14:59

It's misogynistic shit.

The number of men who think they should have the right to just walk out, keep everything and never pay another penny towards raising "her kids" is truly fucking depressing but sadly not unexpected.

They get all bent out of shape if they even hear of a bloke who has been forced to cough up for the little humans who they donated DNA to and are completely militantly enraged if a wife with no kids gets anything in a divorce settlement. Just read the comments on a news story where a rich man's wife got half, even if she put half into building that wealth.

Deep down (ok, not really that deep down because it's actually fucking obvious), a lot of men think women deserve fuck all but crumbs they desire to flick at them whenever they feel like it, whether that be money, affection, respect or whatever.

It's not all men, no, but it is too many and it's the mindset that spawned the quote from that site.

If you think your man isn't like this, you have no idea if that is truly the case until they decide to leave you. At that point, you find out how little you knew him at all and the new man who emerges is never a better one.

ElizaLaLa · 20/01/2021 15:00

Its probably aimed at Americans. Isn't she over there now?

growinggreyer · 20/01/2021 15:02

Clearly this advice is unasseptable. Send her to the naughty step, pronto!

staydazzling · 20/01/2021 15:05

bloody hell! really that's horrendous.

MsVestibule · 20/01/2021 15:06

That's one very bitter, mysoginistic person who's written that!! Of the two women I know who have divorced, one had to move out of the marital home and rent one because her wealthy, abusive husband refused to (and pays no child maintenance to her) and the other did stay in the marital home, but it was remortgaged to the hilt because of his spending and she eventually had to sell it and move to rented.

OverTheRubicon · 20/01/2021 15:10

It's not even correct - the assumption is that both parents need acceptable accommodation with space for children to stay, and mesher orders where one partner (usually the woman).stays in the house are not the norm.

It does seem to be focused on the UK still, as it's on the .co.uk.website and references National Insurance.

OP posts:
ElizaLaLa · 20/01/2021 17:07

Clearly this advice is unasseptable. Send her to the naughty step, pronto!

GrinGrinGrin

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 20/01/2021 17:14

Bloody hell, that's awful!

Lucieintheskye · 20/01/2021 17:48

I wonder when this was published. Not that it's any better or worse if it was published yesterday or 10 years ago but it's interesting to see how it could just be 'outdated' as well as sexist and incorrect.

Definitely unasseptable though, I'd be crouching down to her eye level and telling her clearly to do quality checks on her website!

Member984815 · 20/01/2021 17:55

Oh yes unaseptable and she must reconise it , I can't watch her because she can't say either of those words

Summersun2020 · 20/01/2021 18:13

I recently unfollowed her on twitter for misogynistic bullshit. Shame, I used to like her.

Jimdandy · 20/01/2021 18:17

I’ve just read it and it contains some inaccurate legal advice too.

Stompythedinosaur · 20/01/2021 18:39

That's pretty shocking, actually!

samanthawashington · 20/01/2021 18:49

That is disgusting and denigrates both parties.

Clymene · 20/01/2021 19:04

Always remember that Jo Frost has no qualifications whatsoever in childcare, psychology or anything else. And that she is childless.

ktp100 · 20/01/2021 19:20

Sounds like she's had some Dad's rights activists on her and towed the line.

I've certainly never met anyone who's been this lucky in a divorce!

WINKINGatyourage · 20/01/2021 19:30

Sounds like projection. Does her husband have an ex wife and children she resents?

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