To think the mentally ill have a personal responsibility to take their medication?

[ABD091G6]

For the umpteenth time a close relative has stopped taking their medication, a choice they made whilst medicated and stable, and now we're all dealing with the fallout from that and treading on egg shells waiting for the malicious phone calls and harassment to start

If somebody relies on antipsychotics and mood stabilizers to be stable and able to function, they have a personal responsibility to remain medicated.

AIBU to think that they are expected to take responsibility for themselves.

YABU. It’s impossible to generalise. Often, a huge part of mental illness is not recognising you’re unwell and in need of treatment.

It's not as simple as that though. Part of their illness may involve not having the capacity to rationalise why they maybe should continue with daily medication.

@Haenow

YABU. It’s impossible to generalise. Often, a huge part of mental illness is not recognising you’re unwell and in need of treatment.

This person does realise it, they have a CPN and have been in the system for decades.

They get stable on meds and are able to live a fulfilling life, then decide whilst stable that they don't want the medication anymore.

They have had enough relapses to know what happens when they stop taking it.

Mental ill health aside they are a highly intelligent person. They certainly don't lack capacity when medicated, only when in the thick of a relapse.

Excuse the pronouns I'm being vague to avoid being recognised as I have friends who use this forum.

yes YABU, you can’t possibly understand their reasoning, flawed or not

Mentally ill people, not the mentally ill.
You've already generalised.
Please don't.

It's difficult. I know a guy who stopped his meds and has become so down and introvert that he only spends his time sitting at home in his dirty appartment, won't even let his parents come in anymore. He's basically only a threat to himself. He got on meds in the first place after his neighbours saw him standing in their garden in the middle of the night, naked and holding a huge knife.

Because they think it will be different this time or they dont like being level on meds. So many reasons

I understand exactly how you feel. After decades of abuse and harassment from a medically no compliant family member I have been forced to cut them off. They left me no choice. Being off the roller coaster is amazing. So much peace! You deserve not to be abused. If this was a person in a domestic abuse relationship everyone would be telling you to get out. I really dont see the difference.

Yep.

My neighbour regularly stops taking her meds and gets violent. Last time she attacked me while I was just stood outside then uses her mental health as an excuse. I’ve run out of sympathy, tbh.

It’s not just metal health. A lot of people don’t take their medicines for various reasons. I think lack of understanding and underestimating how important medicine is.

Have you got any idea of the side effects of a lot of antipsychotics and mood stablisers? I have, because I have taken them. They can be absolutely brutal and it is very easy when you are stable to think you don't need to take them, so you can be free of the side effects.

I think it is impossible to generalise and there are nuances to this: the question of mental competence etc. Also depression medication sometimes has unpleasant side effects.

That said it is frustrating when people refuse to help themselves.

My ex - who suffered from depression but was fine when on medication - was constantly taking himself off his medication unilaterally without mentioning this to me or his GP or crisis team and it was bloody selfish because the fallout from me when he was off it was a nightmare. So there’s some truth in this.

I understand it's frustrating, but medication doesn't 'fix' someone, it controls the symptoms of the illness. The illness is still there and although the symptoms may be reduced, it's not disappeared and made that person better. Stopping taking medication, or refusing medication is part of the symptoms of many mental illnesses.

It's a vicious circle, unfortunately. People are unwell, take medication, feel better, think they are cured and so don't need their meds.

It doesn't only apply to mental health either.

Practically, there may be value in discussing with the presribing clinician or pharmacist what can be done to minimise any side-effects of medication, but there may be few options.

I have sympathized with them for many years and always been one of the first to step in and offer support in any way they need it but I'm now developing a sort of 'compassion fatigue'

We live on edge when this happens.

I may be too close to the situation to be unbiased, I've just had enough of the stress that follows.

Forgive me if I sound ignorant.

This happens all the time in a less threatening way - how many threads do we have on here where people after saying they do not want to take their anti-depressants, even though that is what is keeping them well?

I hear what you say about side effects and can understand the reluctance to continue; but it is about balancing risks and benefits. Grim choice to have to make.

They have form for being violent when relapsing, they haven't displayed that behaviour in some years but it's always in the back of my mind that my mum may end up being harmed.

That concern isn't without basis sadly, there have been occasions in the past where she has had to barricade herself in a bedroom and call the police to come and get her out safely.

This person relies heavily on my mother so my mother won't stop going there or distance herself, which I understand but the worry is real.

The problem is many people think they are cured and don't need medication ,I was a mental health nurse and worked in acute psychiatry for many years ,this was an ongoing issue leading to relapse over and over again,not to mention some of the incredibly unpleasant side affects anti psychotics can have on people ,the older ones can lead to dystonia ,occular gyric crises ,tardive dyskinesia etc and the newer ones can massively increase a person's appetite leading to some people to putting on massive amounts of weight .

In order to understand and fulfil our responsibilities we have to be able to think rationally about them. To gain enough perspective to think through the consequences of our actions, to be resilient enough to be accountable for them. To be honest, most neurotypical people who don't consider themselves to have mental health difficulties struggle to do this sometimes. If you throw in chemical and emotional imbalances that knock your perspective, confidence, ability to recognise risks, and your compassion towards yourself and others, it becomes more and more difficult to do.

There are a lot of stigmas still around being medicated for mental ill health as well. Many people have hang ups about taking medication that mean there is a thought process of 'if I get better, I can stop taking the (whatever it is)', which leads them to stop taking it just as it really takes effect properly. Then, of course, they spiral back down and it becomes a case of needing the medication to 'fix' them again.

It's 100% reasonable to have compassion fatigue and not to be able to just keep on giving, but not reasonable to blame the person who's experiencing the problems for this. It just means you need support - or others who can step in and support them in your place - as well.

You are being rather mean about someone who is mentally ill. As you are close to them you must realise it's not a simple case of keep taking your meds.
They feel fine so stop the medication because they know they don't need it anymore. Except of course they do.
If it's too much maybe you need to distance yourself if possible

@ABD091G6

I have sympathized with them for many years and always been one of the first to step in and offer support in any way they need it but I'm now developing a sort of 'compassion fatigue'

We live on edge when this happens.

I may be too close to the situation to be unbiased, I've just had enough of the stress that follows.

Forgive me if I sound ignorant.

I don't think you sound ignorant, I think you sound worried and scared. There is a certain school of thought that says that only the person with the illness is affected, they're not, it takes it's toll on everyone. And I say that as someone with a history of mental illness and someone very close to me with mental illness. While I understand that you want to blame them for stopping the medication, the fact they do it regularly makes me think that it is part of the illness, even when medicated, or that the side effects are too much in the long term. You don't feel the side effects, you just see the person who appears to be fine or at least better on the medication and are happy with that. Some meds actually cause anxiety, depression, altered thoughts etc, which when dealing with even reduced symptoms from another illness can lead to this. And that's without the physical side effects. Ultimately though, if it's too much I agree you need to step back, and not feel guilty about that. It's no more your fault this is affecting you than it is theirs for doing this.

I can see what you're saying PP's

I think my (now somewhat unsympathetic) view is coloured by the ongoing impact on the rest of the family and my concern for my DM who can't possibly carry on providing this level of care long term.

It is a revolving door, they get well and commit to taking the medication then stop it again and we all have to pick up the pieces.

I suppose it's easy for me to be ignorant and think "just take your damn medication and stop this shit"

As others have said you can’t really generalise. I take medication for my mental illness and I’m just fine while I take it, I know what happens when I don’t so yes, I do see it as my responsibility to stay healthy by taking it. My meds are working. The person you speak of sounds like their mental health issues are more complex and the medication maybe doesn’t work 100% in that they still keep making these decisions that hurt them. That’s not their fault if that’s the case, that’s their illness. I do recognise that it’s hard for everyone around the person who is ill.

@Haenow

YABU. It’s impossible to generalise. Often, a huge part of mental illness is not recognising you’re unwell and in need of treatment.

Yep. My uncle. He takes the medication, feels better, decides he's not actually ill. Stops medication. It goes nuts again.