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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The be annoyed at friend for not taking this seriously

26 replies

Anonmummyoftwo · 19/01/2021 22:11

Through out all this Covid craziness iv tried to stick as much as I can to the restrictions yes iv been to see my friend but this was at a point when lockdown wasn’t as strict and it was allowed back in September for household to mix outside (we sat in her garden). I live in Northern Ireland and my city has now one of the highest rates for Covid and our restrictions state no one outside your household should be in your house, I’m classed as high risk and have 2 small kids who I look after alone so if I catch Covid that means my kids are at risk and I’d need help with them but couldn’t get it and with my underlying condition I’d be placed in hospital. My aibu is my friend keeps asking me to come over for a drink. I know I’m a grown up and can just say no and i have done each week she asks. She doesn’t seem to take Covid seriously and in the last few weeks she’s had party’s in her house. At least 4 different households if not more at a time and then bloody cry’s about the Covid numbers going up. This is a 35 year old woman not a teenager so she should know better. She’s the kind who won’t wear a mask and says she takes panic attacks with one on but if we were told not to wear one she would. So aibu that it’s her life her health nothing todo with me or ainbu yes she should take it serious and grow up. Truthfully I blame people this is for the rise just because they want to stick it to the government and break rules.

OP posts:
Riojasmoothy · 19/01/2021 22:38

Covid aside, I'm not really sure why she is your friend as you don't actually sound very fond of her.
Of course she should take it seriously but there isn't much you can really do.

LagneyandCasey · 19/01/2021 22:48

Covid is running riot due to idiots like her. It makes me sick that people are just carrying on whilst others are fighting for their lives and NHS workers are stressed to the max Sad.

I would be seriously thinking carefully about your 'friendship' with this idiot, op.

Anonmummyoftwo · 20/01/2021 09:02

Think after this I will rethink the friendship

OP posts:
pinkyboots1 · 20/01/2021 09:08

I have a friend very similar and she's absolutely driven me mad with her flippancy about Covid, I had to put distance into our friendship before I said something I'd regret. Hopefully our friendship will resume after all this but if it doesn't then so be it

CareBear50 · 20/01/2021 10:01

She's selfish and thinks of no one but herself.

BonnieDundee · 20/01/2021 10:12

Covid is running riot due to idiots like her.

Can you please stop saying that? I caught it and I never broke any rules. This winds me right up that I am apparently to blameAngry

LagneyandCasey · 20/01/2021 10:29

@BonnieDundee

Covid is running riot due to idiots like her.

Can you please stop saying that? I caught it and I never broke any rules. This winds me right up that I am apparently to blameAngry

I was very obviously talking about people who are taking stupid risks and flouting the rules, not about those who contract covid despite taking every care not to Hmm
CareBear50 · 20/01/2021 10:31

:12BonnieDundee

Covid is running riot due to idiots like her.

Can you please stop saying that? I caught it and I never broke any rules. This winds me right up that I am apparently to blame

bonnie.....I honestly don't think you're being blamed. Sounds like you have don't nothing wrong.....but her friend is 100pc an idiot and her behaviour and her partying friends' behaviour is causing the R rate to rise

ktp100 · 20/01/2021 10:31

You're friend is a pure idiot.

I really couldn't have someone that selfish and stupid in my life.

ktp100 · 20/01/2021 10:36

@BonnieDundee

Covid is running riot due to idiots like her.

Can you please stop saying that? I caught it and I never broke any rules. This winds me right up that I am apparently to blameAngry

Talk about missing the point spectacularly!!

Her friend IS an idiot, IS clearly breaking rules, people like her ARE fuelling the spread of the virus and at NO point did the OP suggest that people who contract Covid under general safety conditions are in the wrong!!

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU, HUN!!

Hotzenplotz · 20/01/2021 10:47

Your friend sounds like an arse.

Tell her “Awa' and bile yer heid."

BonnieDundee · 20/01/2021 10:48

The pp.said that covid is running riot due to idiots like her. Victim blaming. Yes I agree the friend is an idiot. But I am sick of coming on here and reading that it is spread by rule breaking idiots. I just wish people would stop repeating that shit.

And stop fucking shouting at me ktp. And dont bloody call me hun. Could you be any more patronizing if you tried?

lurker101 · 20/01/2021 10:50

I would have to explain to her that you won’t be coming while rates are high and are trying to stick within the guidelines, she may not take kindly to it, but I would also be rethinking my friendship after this.

Unfortunately there seem to be a lot of people with similar behaviours to your friend.

Branleuse · 20/01/2021 10:51

cant you just tell her that you arent seeing people as its a pandemic and we are in lockdown. I wonder why she keeps asking?

Sparklfairy · 20/01/2021 10:52

@BonnieDundee

The pp.said that covid is running riot due to idiots like her. Victim blaming. Yes I agree the friend is an idiot. But I am sick of coming on here and reading that it is spread by rule breaking idiots. I just wish people would stop repeating that shit.

And stop fucking shouting at me ktp. And dont bloody call me hun. Could you be any more patronizing if you tried?

But she's right Hmm 'Idiots like her' have spread it to people who have then gone to, say, the supermarket at the same time as you, perfectly following the rules, and that's how you caught it.

She wasn't saying that every person who catches it is an idiot, but they probably caught it because of one!

ktp100 · 20/01/2021 10:59

@BonnieDundee

The pp.said that covid is running riot due to idiots like her. Victim blaming. Yes I agree the friend is an idiot. But I am sick of coming on here and reading that it is spread by rule breaking idiots. I just wish people would stop repeating that shit.

And stop fucking shouting at me ktp. And dont bloody call me hun. Could you be any more patronizing if you tried?

I could, sweetie Grin

Not going to do much good though, clearly. Somehow what is plain and obvious to most isn't quite computing with you.

Also, quite how you're classing her arse of a friend as a 'victim' being blamed is literally ridiculous. From the OP's post it doesn't seem like her friend has had covid at all AND PEOPLE HAVING PARTIES AND REFUSING TO WEAR MASKS ARE GENUINELY SPREADING THE FECKING VIRUS! (Was that shouty enough for you, darling?!)

Just unbelievable, honestly.

Hotzenplotz · 20/01/2021 11:03

Bloody hell. Noisier than a Glasgow alehouse in here today.

PugInTheHouse · 20/01/2021 11:06

Oh dear, Bonnie - the people not sticking to the rules are the ones spreading it around meaning the people who are sticking to them are catching it when shopping or out on a walk etc. They are 100% to blame, I am disgusted that 10 months in they are still at it and we are still in this situation.

GabsAlot · 20/01/2021 11:06

i know of someone like this get this little nugget

"i would have caught it by now if i was going to get it"

i mean wtf

Mintjulia · 20/01/2021 11:13

She is wrong and you're right to be annoyed, and to refuse her.

However, does she lives her own? Is she stuck on her own all day with no-one to talk to or hug. Some people would find that very difficult. They wouldn't cope. I know having my ds has kept me sane. Not sure how I would cope without him.

Just tell her that you are sticking to the covid rules, that you are happy to chat on the phone but not to meet.

10001Namechanges · 20/01/2021 11:25

@BonnieDundee

Covid is running riot due to idiots like her.

Can you please stop saying that? I caught it and I never broke any rules. This winds me right up that I am apparently to blameAngry

You may not have caught it at all if idiots weren’t flouting the rules causing it to spread.
WhereYouLeftIt · 20/01/2021 11:41

"She doesn’t seem to take Covid seriously and in the last few weeks she’s had party’s in her house. At least 4 different households if not more at a time and then bloody cry’s about the Covid numbers going up."
Am I reading this right? It is your friend, the party host, being a spectacular hypocrite crying about people getting ill?

If so, I don't think I'd be holding back next time she cried. I'd be pointing out to her, in an expletive filled rant, what a hypocrite she is given that she ignore safely measures trying to prevent the spread. Basically I'd rip her a new one and 'friendship' be damned.

AnyTimeSoon · 20/01/2021 11:44

Why don't you just say no. No need to get worked up. She keeps asking because you are not being clear. So just tell her.

Watermelon999 · 20/01/2021 12:51

It is idiots like this that contribute to the spread of it.

It only spreads with close proximity to others!!

Obviously there is essential contact, eg work, care responsibilities, school, essential shopping etc, but in most of these places measures are in place to lessen the risk eg ppe/masks and distancing. That doesn’t mean they’re completely safe, and obviously people must still be catching it in these areas.

But the friend’s contacts with others is completely non essential and will absolutely be contributing to the community infection rate which then makes the essential things mentioned above more risky!

ScrapThatThen · 20/01/2021 12:55

Have you told her how it makes you view her?