To feel like I’m drowning and failing at home schooling.

[Whatsmyusername30]

Hi all, dc are actually in school twice a week as partner is a keyworker, I’m at home but they both have sen and ehc plans and entitled to a place.

Anyway, I’m really struggling with the 3 days. I’ll probably be told I should be grateful that they go school 2 days a week. I really am grateful but it doesn’t make the other 3 days of home learning any easier for us.

They just don’t cooperate with me. School is school and home is home. I find the amount of work posted online overwhelming and there’s just no way we will get what’s expected in each day done.

To add (not for sympathy) I’m going through a tough time. Things going on in my life that I never anticipated would happen and I just feel like I’m drowning and I’m so overwhelmed. I’m a mess.

This lockdown feels so much harder.

I’m struggling to keep on top of housework too. Having a somewhat clean house (never been a show home) relaxes me but it’s always a tip at the minute because I haven’t got the time amongst trying to home school, feed and entertain the kids.

I get no time to myself. I know this is the same for many parents and it’s not just me. My partner is working all sorts of hours and I’m home alone most of the day. He’s great when he’s home but he works unsociable hours. I don’t even get evenings to myself as my eldest barely sleeps and takes forever to nod off and he’s in and out of bed for hours 😭

The school are very aware that I struggle with home learning but we’ve only been given 2 days provision. I know there are children in greater need than mine to be at school.

I just feel worn out. It’s only been 2 weeks and feels like forever.

Aibu to think the school can’t expect miracles out of us?!

I’m trying to get bits and bobs done. One day last week all we got one was 1 maths sheet and that was a struggle 😭

Home schooling is making us all miserable. I dread waking up in the mornings. Feel like I’m failing them slowly.

Hi OP, no you are definitely not BU, your children's school already knows you may struggle with homeschooling so I very much hope they will not be expecting loads from you.
You have my sympathies and you are not alone. I could have written lots of your post myself and I am feeling so similar. This lockdown the workload has increased massively and DC2 is now in reception so double the tasks. My house was a tip too but luckily(?) we had a viewing (trying to sell) so we had to tidy up. Yesterday was horrific, I'm not sure why, today has been easier because we had to collect something from school, it took up loads of time and we all got out of the house. But it meant that we definitely did not get the work all completed, not even close. I logged on to the app and it seems the school is making allowances and has deleted the tasks not completed (from last week) so I'm guessing we are not alone in not completing everything in our school either.
What has worked for me is, doing the quick win short or favourite tasks first, even if we've only accomplished one of these at least it's one thing less.
Getting out of the house as much as is safe and allowed, so we try to go out for a walk or something every day.
Moaning to other mums in our year group, who have also not completed all of the work!
I don't know if this will help but if you feel like you can tell school that you are really struggling then at least you know they won't be expecting too much and they may even be able to suggest something to help.
I hope you're ok

I'm sorry to hear that OP. You certainly aren't alone in feeling like this. I think most mums are struggling and feeling like they aren't doing enough. If they just do one maths sheet, then fair enough. My child has autism and has enjoyed the BBC Bitesize shows and website more than working on the sheets, as it's a bit more interactive.

If your children can't focus at home and have an EHCP, the school should be letting them attend full-time. You shouldn't feel like you're taking a place from someone else. They have SEN and this is what they are entitled to.

YANBU and you are not alone. I'm sure lots of people are struggling with home schooling.

It is such a terrible shame to damage so many people this way. I really hope schools reopen soon.

Send them into school. My are mainstream with echp. I was offered places when I discussed with one of my DC he self harmed at the thought of not being in school. So in they both went. I'm pt keyworker but they go to school every day to stay in routine

It's hard and you're not failing. Everyone is finding it hard. I also feel like I'm drowning under home school work, housework and packing (we're moving house soon), and I feel like I'm completely neglecting my baby in favour of helping my dc with their school work (in reality I don't suppose I am as the baby is happy playing with their own toys and doing their own thing). I feel like I'm spread too thinly at the moment and I'm shattered. However, nearly everyone i knows feels the same and I don't know a single person who is finding this easy.

My dc's headteacher sent this letter home last week and I honestly feel this is the way all schools should be dealing with this situation. No one should feel under pressure to be everything at this time.

So read the letter and every time you feel like a failure remember that you are doing your best in difficult circumstances.

Of course school should not expect miracles out of you. But are they doing so? Every single thing I've heard from our school is don't worry if you don't finish it, well done for doing a little bit, just send me what you have etc. It helps us both hugely, and gradually he is managing more (he's autistic).

Are you really sure others need the places more than you do? An EHCP is not to be taken lightly. This is my worry with school places at the moment - they get assigned to who shouts loudest rather than who actually needs them the most.

I will join you op. My youngest son is asd and is being a total nightmare. Tantrums/meltdowns swearing and just generally being a nightmare when it comes to settling down to do any tasks. Then of course he’s so wound up he’s unable to properly learn. We have no school days so it’s full on. House is a riot, I’m exhausted and I’ve been unwell, also have 3 other children 1 exam year and 1 college student at home.

I think you just need to speak to school explain how hard you’re finding it and speak to them about how you can manage at home. Maybe school can help, probably not by offering more days but hopefully they can take some of the load off. It’s pigging hard. I’m neglecting my 10 year old, who luckily is ploughing on himself and just gets it done.

Anyway my wee message was just to say you’re not alone we are all struggling

I feel the same 😫
Dd has severe autism and severe learning difficulties but his special school insists he's not vulnerable because I've never needed a social worker so he can't attend 🤷‍♀️
I've got his younger sister to homeschool,his dad works night shifts as a key worker so sleeping during the day . I'm drowning fast and this is unsustainable 😩

OP please don't feel bad! I have one sen child and that is hard enough. I near had a breakdown last time, but this time I've been kind to myself. I make regular contact with school about how he is, they know I will get him to work when I can. All this is having a huge effect on his mental health and he's been referred to camhs. We manage an ok amount atm, but if I'm honest I don't think any of it is going in at all. Please don't fret, just do what you can. They have sen. All this change is so hard for our children as it is. They need a mummy who isn't beating herself up all the time. You are 1 person doing a damn hard job. I'm a single mum so it all falls to me. We do what we can. Sending you a big virtual hug. Ps my house could be cleaner too

Thank you lovely people. Glad I’m not alone but sorry you are all struggling. I cannot imagine what it must be like working from home juggling it off. I’m just not working right now and my partner is at work as usual.

They do go two days a week. I have thought about asking for an extra day for DS. Dd copes a little better with being home so an extra day at school for DS might mean I can focus on Dd doing work as I think she is very capable but DS just distracts her. I doubt there is space now. Some children have been given 5 days, some 4 and some 3 or even less in our case. It seemed to be first come first serve for how many days and who they contacted first.

They didn’t go in the last lockdown as wasn’t considered vulnerable as no social care involved but have been able to go this time albeit for 2 days which I’m grateful for. I’m just glad that they can have 2 days in school for their own sake.

🌸

Any child with an EHCP is classed as 'vulnerable' BTW. That doesn't mean you're a bad parent or you need social services or anything, it's just how they are categorised!

@kwiksavenofrillsusername yes absolutely. Last year I was told my children weren’t vulnerable despite having an EHC plan. This year the school have allowed them to attend.

I would totally ask for the extra day for your DS... all they can say is no (and can they really say no? I think they have to find him a space if he needs it do they not? Our school has been doing that, offering the bare minimum and hoping nobody would ask for anything more, which I understand, but I always suspect that when you do that, some of the folk who really could use some help end up just soldiering on.)