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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Be honest. Have you sent your kids to school when they could have stayed at home?

557 replies

Witchcraftandhokum · 19/01/2021 17:02

I left my job in education before Christmas mostly because of the governments appalling response to Covid in schools and anti-teacher sentiment generally so I haven't really got a vested interest. But I'm curious, after speaking to my ex-colleagues and friends who work in other schools there seems to be a dramatic take-up on the offer of places for vulnerable students and children of Key-workers compared to the last lockdown.

The numbers in my old school during the last lockdown made it hardly worth opening the school, this time they're at capacity and are having to bring extra staff in at a risk to themselves. In my friend's child's class there are 21 out of 32 currently attending.

What's going on?

OP posts:
B33Fr33 · 19/01/2021 18:34

*precious

Oilyvoir · 19/01/2021 18:34

I'm a teacher, working from home. No other adults in the house. Long hours (longer than when in school) but obviously from the comfort of my own home. This week I'm sending my boy (Y1) for 3 days. There really would not be enough hours in a day if he was home all week. Maybe he shouldn't be but I'm trying not to take advantage.

DipSwimSwoosh · 19/01/2021 18:36

Depends how you judge it.
My dh work expects him in work. Was furloughed before a can't work from home.
I am teaching secondary. My work expect a full timetable of live lessons. I'm shattered as it is.
In theory I could have my 7, 5 and 3 year olds with me. In practice they would get no work done and neither would I.

Billben · 19/01/2021 18:36

No, I didn’t.

Afolnerd · 19/01/2021 18:36

Mine could go to school as dh is a key worker but I’m furloughed so they are at home. We have 4 aged between 16-5 and they are all driving me crazy, but I’m at home and it’s the right thing to do to keep them with me.
Our small village primary school has had a lot higher uptake this time.
In the first lockdown there was one bubble for the whole infants with about 10 kids in it.
This time my kids year groups have 10 out of 24 and 11 out of 26 in school so each year group has its own bubble.

Kljnmw3459 · 19/01/2021 18:36

I don't blame anyone for putting their DC to school.

Hoviscats · 19/01/2021 18:37

Incidentally I am categorically not talking about people who properly qualify and need the provision. That is what it is for. I am talking about SAHPs with a non front line keyworker partner, or people who are part time in also non front line but designated key worker roles...

Of course you absolutely should use the provision if you need it!

LakieLady · 19/01/2021 18:37

My cynical self wonders if more people are sending their kids in because it's winter and harder to keep them entertained.

First lockdown was in the spring, warmer weather and longer days made it easier to find stuff to do out of doors.

BrutusMcDogface · 19/01/2021 18:38

I’m a teacher, full time. My partner can’t work from home so he’s out full time. I would have preferred my head to allow us to go part time so the kids could have been at home some of the time, but he’s quite strict on it (despite his own wife homeschooling his kids!!)

DrunkBetch · 19/01/2021 18:38

My husband and I both fall under the critical worker although we both work from home. Last time I kept them home because my job had a fairly light workload. I have started a new role since then in the same organisation and there is just no way I could manage work and helping them with school work. DS is 8 and has ADHD and DD is 6. Husband is in back to back zoom meetings all day.
So technically as we would both be in the house they could be home but they would be left to entertain themselves all day and would not get any kind of education (their school is also not doing any kind of live lessons) so we chose to send them in.

izzybobsmum · 19/01/2021 18:39

I am a key worker but my child is at home. Even though I am a key worker I can do my job from home, so I wouldn’t dream of taking the piss and taking up a place I don’t really need....

WinstonmissesXmas · 19/01/2021 18:39

It isnt really anything to do with risk

Of course it is! The increased risk to the teachers, the TAs and the wider community. But as long as you’re alright, eh, @Blaggingit123. Your role clearly isn’t critical or would have been deemed so. Why not have a bit of thought for the rest of society, put yourself out a bit and keep your children home for the greater good? No, thought not. Too selfish by half!

Thurlow · 19/01/2021 18:40

Kind of.

DH is an emergency services shift worker, on that awful 10 day rotation if anyone knows it. I work from home. I work 9-5 four days a week with little flexibility.

Our 9yo is at home with me in the mornings, and then spends a few hours every afternoon with her childminder, who is open for keyworker care. We debated school but knew we didn't need f/t care, just some help.

Sometimes I feel guilty about this but other times I don't. DH needs to sleep after a night shift and we have a small house; on the mornings he is sleeping we swap and send DD to the childminder in the morning. Also, his shifts mean he's not around reliably to help me flex work, and also rarely around at the weekend (or worse still, sleeping). For my own sanity I knew that working and homeschooling all day on my own and then having the kids on the weekend alone too would break me (I'm aware that, and in awe of, the many single parents who do this, but some will be able to access a support bubble, which we are not eligible for).

If nurseries close, I will send the 4yo to the same childminder for f/t care on the days I work.

It is what it is. It's not great, perhaps we should struggle at home, but we felt the CM was safer than school, and I'm just desperately trying to find a balance that keeps us all vaguely ok at the moment, especially as I was signed off at the end of last year with stress after the younger child had back to back isolations.

Beanbag12 · 19/01/2021 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BrutusMcDogface · 19/01/2021 18:40

Also, I think a far higher proportion of people are having to work this time, hence needing the school places.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 19/01/2021 18:41

It’s only open to years 7 and 8 in our school.

Our 2 are in years 10 and 8. They’re both staying home without a parent 5 days a week as IMO that’s a better alternative than having 1 in school (having to get himself there and back - approx 1/2 hour walk each way) and 1 at home.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 19/01/2021 18:41

You were aware there's a coronavirus board?

That would be the one I deliberately avoid as I'm sick of reading this 'should-I-report-my-neighbour-for ...', 'how COULD-they-jump-the-vaccination-queue-rather-than-throw-out-precious-stock?', 'stay-at-home-from-the-garden-centre-you-selfish-monster', 'justify-your-circumstances-to-total-strangers', 'is-that-an-essential-item-in-your-shopping-basket?', incessant, judgemental, negative, downright unpleasant screed, day after day on a continuous loop?

It's ruining enjoyment of this site, isn't great for the mental health of people who'd rather avoid constant negativity, and has its own corner precisely for that reason. @MNHQ police this board very rigorously in other areas. Why not this one?

AiryFairyMum · 19/01/2021 18:41

No we didn't send but lots of others did. Around 70% initially, although this quickly reduced to about 50%. It was about 10% in lockdown 1, but my friends have been saying it's harder now because they can't have the kids in the garden because of bad weather etc. Plus many employers are less tolerant now.

FrangipaniBlue · 19/01/2021 18:42

A lot of employers are being much less flexible this time around.

I have several friends who are classified as key workers but who could do their jobs from home, and in fact did last time. But their employers have refused to allow it this time and have insisted they send their DC to school.

It's appalling really!

kobo · 19/01/2021 18:42

IceCreamAndCandyfloss I think the problem is the message hasn't been to stay home where schools are concerned. If you keep saying schools are safe a lot of people are going to believe it. They don't seem to question the lack of distancing especially in young children ( and adults in confined spaces) or lack of PPE. They just believe schools are magic and safe. Also we vaccinate year one children against flu even though they don't get ill because they are " super spreaders" but their little noses can't spread covid! All the lies that schools are safe have had an impact unfortunately.

Al1langdownthecleghole · 19/01/2021 18:44

No, the opposite. Keeping DD home despite her qualifying for a place.

Two of her friends parents, a midwife and a school sec are doing the same.

Fieldofyellowflowers · 19/01/2021 18:45

Lockdown isn't as tight this time. Certain key workers who were furloughed last time haven't been furloughed this time. My dad is a meter reader and he was off for months last year. Now he is still working like usual.

Sorryusernamealreadyexists · 19/01/2021 18:45

Both critical workers, OH outside of the home and I can do about 80% of my job from home (if I had no children home)

I chose to take up keyworker spaces for ours to enable me to do 100% of my job on site. Last time I was furloughed but they aren’t doing that this time as there is too much work to warrant it.

Goatscheesewithhoney · 19/01/2021 18:46

And if I see another Facebook post from a teacher along the lines of “please don’t send your child to school, it’s not safe there and we don’t want to die” then I am going to contact their school and report them.

I don’t want my children looked after by people who openly and publicly don’t what to look after them - some of these teachers are local to me (though thankfully not at my DCs school) and they shouldn’t be putting the guilt trip onto critical worker parents who have to send their children to school so they can work.

I also work from home, so goady threads like this piss me off even more.

It is “safe” for my children to walk into the room while I am on the phone to the emergency services, directing them to the location of someone who is about to suicide? Is it safe for that person if I miss an important detail while trying to usher my children or deal with a tantrum?

In the last lockdown, I was in a phone apt with someone who was disclosing a history of sexual abuse, for the first time.

One of my young children, who I’d bribed with an iPad, suddenly appeared in the room asking for a phone charger. While frantically trying to wave the child out, I missed a couple of sentences of what the person was saying to me.

It was at that point that I decided to send them to school, even though I could “technically” keep them at home.

DiscoGlitterBall · 19/01/2021 18:47

2 key workers both working from home. Out DD is staying home. She goes to a large school and 1/3 of students are in which is equivalent to a full class in at least two of the years.

I’m trying very hard not to judge as I don’t know the personal circumstances. I do feel cross that my DD is missing out because we have chosen to keep her and staff safe.

School have tried to explain that they aren’t ‘teaching’ but I can’t truly believe that. They also have their friend with them and access to all the resources which we just don’t have at home.