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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Be honest. Have you sent your kids to school when they could have stayed at home?

557 replies

Witchcraftandhokum · 19/01/2021 17:02

I left my job in education before Christmas mostly because of the governments appalling response to Covid in schools and anti-teacher sentiment generally so I haven't really got a vested interest. But I'm curious, after speaking to my ex-colleagues and friends who work in other schools there seems to be a dramatic take-up on the offer of places for vulnerable students and children of Key-workers compared to the last lockdown.

The numbers in my old school during the last lockdown made it hardly worth opening the school, this time they're at capacity and are having to bring extra staff in at a risk to themselves. In my friend's child's class there are 21 out of 32 currently attending.

What's going on?

OP posts:
Babysharkdododododododododod · 20/01/2021 19:33

@Hugepeppapigfan

I will be at work when my kitchen is being fitted, I was just stating what a stressful week I have coming up with work and uni and the kitchen...calm down 😅

Nomoreporridge · 20/01/2021 20:07

have only skimmed through the thread, but haven’t seen many admit to sending their kids to school when they could have them at home!
My friend has done this though. Working from home in ‘non- essential’ job. She was very stressed home schooling during last lockdown, so applied for a space in school- god knows how she got it! Judging by her Instagram she is having a lovely time while kids are at school Confused
I’m a key worker and sent my kids during both lockdowns, but homeschooled when not on a shift I have to say I find it rather irritating! ( which might be unfair of me!)

Justploddingon · 20/01/2021 20:14

Person I know is working 3 hours a week and yet kids are in full time!

playthegame · 20/01/2021 20:18

I'm a key worker but on maternity leave. DH is also a key worker but WFH. If I was working I could have sent my 2 teenagers (yr9) to school.
I would not have done though, DH is home and they are quite capable of logging on to do school work without me there!
When I go back to work in March they will probably still be home but my DM will become our childcare bubble for the baby (already a support bubble with her anyway).

I think this time the 'key worker' criteria is a lot more open to interpretation though and that is the problem!

I know someone who is sending all her children to school because her DH is a key worker despite the fact she is SAHM! Absolutely unnecessary IMO!

CuteOrangeElephant · 20/01/2021 20:22

My four year old is going in. Her father and I are both keyworkers (one outside of the home, the other WFH). We already spread our work out over 7 days, so DD only needs to go in once a week. We've just moved and that one day a week is literally the only time she gets to spend with other children.

Jellycatspyjamas · 20/01/2021 20:24

Our MD refused on the grounds that it was morally reprehensible to claim unnecessarily,

Hopefully your MD also have her space in the working week to accommodate homeschooling her children.

krj2688 · 20/01/2021 20:25

I haven't. I'm a key worker but keeping my 5 year old home from school and the 3 year old from preschool.

Majority of my friends are sending them even though they are on maternity or working from home.

Yourcatisnotsorry · 20/01/2021 20:33

I know 2 families where both parents are true key workers (frontline nhs). They requested school 2/3 days a week as shifts mean they don’t need 5. Both schools insisted they send in for 5 for ‘continuity’ so your argument seems a bit one sided to me.
Mine are below school age so no vested interest.

BBCdramaaddict · 20/01/2021 20:34

I didn’t send my children in the last lockdown because I could manage however I’ve increase my hours since then. Therefore my children now go in on my work days and the days after nightshifts when I need to sleep. I have snuck them in for an extra three days as I’m also attending uni online and it’s just too much to do when they’re home. As they’re already going in for a number of days I thought ‘what’s an extra three’. But I wouldn’t have sent them in for those 3 alone.

MyNameHasBeenTaken · 20/01/2021 20:34

One slightly different angle for me...
I am a key worker. Not frontline. Key.
During the initial lockdown my work had to close for a little while, to make the place safe for everyone.
So we all got sent home. We would be told when it would be safe for us to return.
Now our worship is safe, we are expected to go to work.
So lockdown 1, I kept dd home.
This lockdown, I have to go to work.

lionsandwhales · 20/01/2021 20:39

The risks of being in a huddle of key worker kids all exposed to covid by key worker parents is not a great choice and not everyone can choose. Very unfair for teachers. That is a really s**T "for kids, parents and teachers. Then to top it off, people go in who don't need to and loads of posts that make those with no choice feel even more dreadful about sending them in. Mine are at home and getting almost zero supervision from me as I cannot wfh and teach. But we are covid free and not adding to the mixing pot.

pinkcortina · 20/01/2021 20:41

I am a nurse working frontline/face to face with patients. Not on Covid wards but with patients who do not observe the rules, regularly mix households, don't socially distance from anyone and so many tell me they are exempt from face coverings. I do 3 long days a week clinical. My children go to school 4 days a week. I need the extra day to catch up on work related stuff that I can't get done in my normal working day. I have one laptop. When my children are at home I have to share my work lap too between them for zoom lessons. I can't do that two days a week or I'd get so far behind with my record keeping patients would be at risk. I also have calls on Teams that are inappropriate for my children to hear (sexual violence, drug use, child abuse etc etc). I am also a single parent. I can't allow guilt to get the better of me. I tried to juggle it all last spring and nearly lost my mind. I keep them home one day a week and try to home school and get work form home to flex round it but any more than that and the wheels will fall off and patients would be at risk and I'd end up in a coroners court!

justab0utsurviving · 20/01/2021 20:43

I'll stick my neck out. Husband deployed with the military until June. I am wfh but not a critical worker. I have a very demanding role - 0830-1730 every day and I barely have time to pee. I work in the evening as well. I have a space at school due to husband in the military. I have taken it for 4 days a week and the last day he is with the Childminder. If he were at home , he would be watching tv all day. He is already behind in school due to hearing and speech problems. And he is really upset about his dad going away. The school is good for him. My daughter is in pre school and they are open of course so she goes in.

I don't feel guilty about doing it. Last lock down they stayed home as husband was home and we balanced it between us.

gongsr · 20/01/2021 20:44

I didn't need to use the place last time because I only worked 3 days. I have gone f/t & actually do about 10 hours overtime because so busy & I can't wfh except 1 day a wk. The school want them in 5 days.

ASundayWellSpent · 20/01/2021 20:44

I know someone who is. Young primary aged children. She is classed as a KW but think non-risk 9-4 weekdays desk job, her husband is WFH full time and both children have been sent as she qualifies them for a place with KW status. It is too hard for her DH to WFH with the children there - don't we fucking know it says everyone WFH with children!

pinkcortina · 20/01/2021 20:44

@BBCdramaaddict

I didn’t send my children in the last lockdown because I could manage however I’ve increase my hours since then. Therefore my children now go in on my work days and the days after nightshifts when I need to sleep. I have snuck them in for an extra three days as I’m also attending uni online and it’s just too much to do when they’re home. As they’re already going in for a number of days I thought ‘what’s an extra three’. But I wouldn’t have sent them in for those 3 alone.
I send mine when I have to sleep after night shift too. I wonder if school judge me as I'm in my trackies dropping them off rather than my day shift attire of smart casual and lanyard but when I've been up all night using my brain in a very intense way I can't safely make a cuppa let alone look after children so home schooling would be unthinkable
gongsr · 20/01/2021 20:47

She is classed as a KW but think non-risk 9-4 weekdays desk job

I had a job like this but now I'm helping with testing kids & staff.

Crystalgirl90 · 20/01/2021 20:52

Yeah that does make sense, but as this point is apparently a worse infection rate and the highest it’s ever been it’s confusing as to why more places are open this time I guess! I suppose I should just get on and stop wondering! Haha X

whydobirds · 20/01/2021 20:55

I know thread has moved on and it's not a reply to OP, but @ThatDamnKrampus meant to reply to you yesterday - no diagnosis doesn't mean ineligible for an EHCP yet - it's entirely possible to get one without. It's the need that's assessed not the condition that leads to it. If she struggles and needs support in school then it's worth starting the process before she gets to ADOS, as the diagnostic route for ASD in kids can take ages...

Eve76 · 20/01/2021 20:58

I work in a Primary school , we are at 80% capacity . Still letting children que up for their lunchtime meal and mingle in the dinner hall . Me and all the staff are frightened, the only staff that seem untroubled are senior staff who haven’t left their offices since Jan the 5th ☹️

shiningstar2 · 20/01/2021 21:03

Not me ...My dd is a teacher ...but I know someone who has Grin

studychick81 · 20/01/2021 21:19

No- I was offered a place and turned it down but I just admit it has made things very stressful and frantic at home.

There are lots taking the mick though. I couldn't believe the length of the list in dd class when they read out who was a school! Two parents are SAHM but I expect got in as the partner is a critical worker. another is an accountant but her DH does work away a few days a week, another are both WFH as accountants. It has totally changed my opinion of them.

Superstar22 · 20/01/2021 21:27

Both of us are “critical/ key/ health- patient- facing currently on zoom to patients” full time staff in nhs & social care.
Critical now, critical last lockdown.
Kids aged 7 & 9 been at home the whole time, except Sept-Dec, it’s a nightmare, we can’t give them much time, sucking it up as we are at home.
Only if we could not work at home on that particular day would we put kids in, and there’s always one of us at home.

studychick81 · 20/01/2021 21:28

BBCdramaaddict

I extra 3 days is not on IMO. I am also doing an online course and yes it's impossible to do it whilst home schooling. I do it at weekends. Working 6/7 days a week right now when could be working 2/3 if I sent my dcs into school.

Dontpeeonthecat · 20/01/2021 21:29

I've send 2 out of 4 of mine in.
Secondary age children at home, primary age at school.
DH is a keyworkerand works 5/6 days a week, I am officially not, but I'm caring for DM with cancer.
My youngest refused to do any work at home last time and I was at breaking point but then again I was home with no ill mother.
If they crack down I will have to keep them home which means youngest wont get any work done as she will have to tag along with me whilst seeing DM, or I will have to find someone to take over

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