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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To walk up my stairs without tip-toeing?

12 replies

zolazarola · 18/01/2021 21:02

My neighbours and I don't get on, she has reported me to our landlord twice for noise disturbances. This has been when I have had a few people over (when we were allowed) for drinks, nothing crazy, but she said it was like we're "jumping through the walls" and that she can hear our conversations even though we were talking at a low volume. It could have been the music that bothered her, I didn't think it was loud but it could have been. I said I was very sorry and tried to be quieter.

There was one incident where a group of men were trying to get into my home and threatening to key the car on the driveway if I didn't let them in, there was commotion outside the house and she came outside. I apologised profusely and explained the situation to her and she seemed to understand. It was completely out of my control but I can completely see why she was annoyed by this.

I live alone with my 2 year old but my sister has moved in with us temporarily.

A few weeks ago at around 10pm I had members of my bubble over and she came banging on the door and window, shouting and swearing and saying I was keeping her daughter up. I apologised and said I didn't even realise that it was loud and to text me again if there were any issues. She then went on to call the police after this.

The members of my bubble haven't been round for a month now, and even when they were, we were quiet. Talking at what I would see to be a normal volume.

She ignores my son, my sister and myself whenever we see her outside the house. We live in a row of three houses, hers being in the middle. She and the other neighbour sill be stood outside talking when I pull up on the drive and they completely blank me.

I sent her a nice message the other day asking if a package for me had been delivered to her home, and she replied with just "no".

I try to be friendly but she is rude and seems to hate me because of the previous "noise disturbances".

About twenty minutes ago, she sent me a message saying "hi could you keep it down it sounds like you are stamping on the walls". This was whilst I was on my bed with my son and my sister was downstairs putting groceries away?! The only noise could be us walking around, shutting doors or maybe the dog going up/down the stairs.

It is stressing me out and I feel uncomfortable. I want to say something to her but I am scared of her and it is awkward having to see her all the time. She lives with her partner and their 1 year old.

OP posts:
1Morewineplease · 18/01/2021 21:23

Why we're members of your bubble banging on your door and window?
Why we're a group of men threatening to get into your home and threatening to 'key' your car?
You don't sound like a great neighbour to be honest.

BashfulClam · 18/01/2021 21:32

@1Morewineplease read it again it was the woman
Next door banging on the door and window. Although I do agree with asking why were random men trying to get in?

Pillowcase123 · 18/01/2021 21:37

Sounds like a fair few noise disturbances from you tbh.

Maybe consider that the sound is echoing? Or that maybe music/groups around late may be disturbing?

If you strongly believe it is impossible that you are bothering her and that she's just being unreasonable, then maybe a chat is in order but no-one likes to complain to their neighbour about noise (look at how many threads there are on here trying to avoid that exact scenario!) so I would really consider whether I was inadvertently causing more noise than I intended to

1Morewineplease · 18/01/2021 21:41

Ah, apologies OP , however there does seem to be a thread of noise and disturbance.
Why is your neighbour banging on your window? Is she exasperated?
You say that you might be having loud music.. or not?
It sounds like you're not being a considerate neighbour to be honest.
Have a long , hard, sober think about all of your and your guests actions.

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 18/01/2021 21:41

Why were a group of men trying to get into your house?
How can you have a bubble if your sister lives with you?

Unanananana · 18/01/2021 21:41

You do sound like you are making a lot of noise sometimes quite late at night (visiting bubble at 10pm?). How do you come to have random men threatening to key your car? I'm not surprised the neighbour was unhappy about that!

Don't engage with her as much as you can help to save you both aggro but you need to keep the noise down. If there is only three of you and a dog it shouldn't be that hard.

marshmallowfluffy · 18/01/2021 21:43

You should be quiet at 9/10pm at night! (You don't mention times on some of the other examples)
Why were the men trying to get in?

PanamaPattie · 18/01/2021 21:44

That sounds like a lot of noise. Explain the group of men trying to get in.

HallowedGround · 18/01/2021 21:50

Tbh you are coming across as a bit of a nightmare neighbour, not her.

katy1213 · 18/01/2021 21:59

Are you lairy people with loud outdoor voices?
Why do you need a bubble if you're living with your sister?
And why do men come and threaten you at night?
I wouldn't want you living next door to me!

zolazarola · 18/01/2021 22:02

My sister hasn't long moved in, I'm no longer in a bubble.

There were a group of men trying to get in because they had been told about a party and thought it was at my house, it wasn't but they thought I was lying and just didn't want to let them in. I was as unhappy about that as she was, I couldn't have apologised anymore than I did. It was completely not my fault and out of my control.

When we had music playing, I didn't think it was loud but accept that to her it could have been. I stopped having members of my bubble round after the incident of her banging on the window and shouting. We're not lairy at all, usually say down in the same place and talking at a normal volume. No shouting or anything like that, not even "outdoor" voices.

OP posts:
zolazarola · 18/01/2021 22:03

"Don't engage with her as much as you can help to save you both aggro but you need to keep the noise down. If there is only three of you and a dog it shouldn't be that hard."

But my sister putting shopping away and my son and I sitting on the bed was too loud? Not sure what I could have done differently.

OP posts:
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