To not share every single treat with kids

[PumpkinDumplinRumplin]

It's trivial and petty but whatever...

AIBU to think it's perfectly normal not to share every single 'treat' with children.

DH has been to the corner shop for bread and milk as we're close to running out. Whilst there he picked me up a 'treat' I like. He's also asked the kids if they'd like anything so they've chosen something too which he's got (chocolate bar kind of thing).

Anyway, DC has now decided that my item looks much better and wants some of that.

I'm the worst person ever because I've said NOPE

Usually I'd hide any such treats but I couldn't in time with this one.

Is it acceptable to be all 'Joey doesn't share food' with kids?

@MaskingForIt

It is a tricky one. On the one hand I agree that they made their choice and you made yours, too bad so sad. On the other hand I suspect asking to share is them sort-of checking you love them. They don’t actually want the treat, they just want to know that you would share.

I still think we need to know what the respective treats were to make a full judgement!

In which case you can say 'Look, I love you more than life itself, but you picked your own treat so hard luck, you're not having mine'

I'd probably give them a taste, just so I could remind them the next time they had something I fancied a bit of.

YANBU

But I'm a horrible bitch and won't share my food in general. I also have lots of stuff I don't share with the kids, like art supplies and all the best toiletries. I do like the word 'no' although I do buy them much more treats than me some of my treats are much better.

If I ever go shopping on my own, I buy myself magazines and cake, and don't ever tell them!

Usually I'd hide any such treats but I couldn't in time with this one. Is it acceptable to be all 'Joey doesn't share food' with kids?

Of course it is.

More kids need to hear the word no imo. They need to learn that they aren't entitled to every want and whim.

YANBU

my kids have plenty of treats but invariably they want the stuff I get for myself. Bugger off you entitled wee shites!

I hide my fancy chocolate in a box of boil in the bag brown rice. I have teens. I never share my treats.

Of course it’s acceptable, they had their own treats! No way should they expect to have some of yours too. We get so little to ourselves!

I would only share with DD as she always offers to share hers. Dh and DS, no chance 😈

It's absolutely acceptable for you to do. Personally I couldn't enjoy it if I felt bad they wanted to try it and share with me and I'd said no so I would end up sharing!

@Wearywithteens

When my kids were little I wouldn’t let them have crisps, ever. We had them in the house but they were forbidden because they were ‘mummy’s bar snacks’. They still resent it!

All dc resent their parents for something. It’s probably a kindness to set them up to resent your crisp habit so they don’t fixate on something that will end up costing them £££ in therapy.

Depends on the age and personality of the kids how you approach it. With my 16 year old Id say as much as I love you I love galaxy caramel more, no chance kiddo.

With younger or less secure children I can see this might backfire...

Completely reasonable.

But then again I jabbed my friend in the hand with a fork when she stole my chips (I did warn her after the first time she did it that it would happen).

It’s not a treat and it’s so unhealthy to view junk food like this and teach kids to see it like this. It’s a bar of chocolate or some sugary sweet. Call it what it is. It’s no more a treat than any other food item.

"No sorry DC it's spicy."

Or gobble it hiding behind an open cupboard door.

Also would you share a bite of your sandwich? A bit of your dinner?

You need to treat food equally. Not put sweets up there on some form of haloed platform where it’s so good it can’t be shared. Treat it all equally, everything in moderation, model good eating habits.