Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tradesman asking for a sandwich

592 replies

AtleastitsnotMonday · 18/01/2021 15:49

I’ve had a tradesman working on the outside of my property today. Got here about 11.30, job was about a couple of hours worth of work. About 1200 I went out and asked if I could get him a tea or coffee. He answered “Tea, white with two please, would you be able to knock me up a cheese sandwich while your there?”
Now, admittedly I’m rubbish at saying no at the best of times and I wasn’t expecting this so obliged, even returning to check if he would like pickle/tomato etc with it.”
Dp thinks I’ve lost the plot and he was being grabby and to be honest I’ve only ever made drinks with the odd biscuit before, the only exception being when we had an extension built which was a much longer project and I outdone make them bacon sandwiches on a Friday morning if I wasn’t working.
Would you have made a sandwich?

OP posts:
Drivemecrazy12 · 18/01/2021 16:21

If it was a longer job then I'd offer sandwiches/cakes sometimes but not everyday.

However, seeing as things may be tight for people at the moment I'd make someone lunch if they asked.

VettiyaIruken · 18/01/2021 16:23

I would. But I am a bit over hospitable if anything. If you're in my house and it's a mealtime, expect to get fed. Had a builder working a bit late when we were having an extension done and I asked him if he wanted to have dinner with us. I think he thought I was nuts or maybe coming onto him. 😂

LazyFace · 18/01/2021 16:23

No bloody way. I bet they wouldn't have asked your partner/husband for one.
We had builders in for a long time, i gave them a kettle, initially biscuits but they weren't too fussed.
When the pavers turned up though.... they kept asking me for tea/coffee. When I wasn't there (or they thought) they asked the girls/mum next door to make them tea (we didn't even get on with them), despite knowing my husband was in the house.

mrsmacmc · 18/01/2021 16:24

I always offer any trades that come and do work for us if they want tea / coffee / breakfast / lunch / biscuits. Majority have their lunch etc with them. Found it hard to not offer when we've had trades in doing essential repairs! Nice to be nice.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 18/01/2021 16:24

Well, I don't eat bread so I'd be missing a vital ingredient but yeah ... I'd be happy to feed someone.

I remember when the gas engineers cam once and turned the gas to all the houses off (some emergency on the street). They asked for a cuppa and I happily obliged. My gas was the first back on and the guy came and made sure the boiler was properly relit. What goes around and all that.

wildraisins · 18/01/2021 16:24

Tbh I think I would have laughed! I would have thought he was joking.

I wouldn't have made him a sandwich. A cup of tea yes but they need to sort their own food.

MrsDiplo · 18/01/2021 16:25

As long as the guys been nice to you and you can afford it and have the time then I would definitely make one. Especially during this current period I would consider that I don't know his circumstances. Maybe he cant afford his lunch or maybe hes forgotten it.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 18/01/2021 16:26

It's the height of male entitlement isn't it.... ConfusedGrin.

I'm sure he wouldn't have casually demanded this of a man..

The only time that this would be acceptable to me, is if they were there a long day, nowhere near shops, and the worker had forgotten his lunch and was badly diabetic... And even then I'd expect them to ask me nicely and explain they may have a hypoGrin

mrsmacmc · 18/01/2021 16:26

@myusernamewastakenbyme that's disgusting behaviour in my opinion even with the current climate mugs etc can be cleaned / washed! Hope your DH managed to thaw out after the job!!

Whywonttheyhelpme · 18/01/2021 16:27

Bloody cheeky!

I always make regular offers of drinks and if I’m going out then show them where to make their own. Have made the odd bacon sarnie for plumbers and lunch for my kitchen fitter who forgot his pack up but have never been asked or expected to.

Wheresmykimchi · 18/01/2021 16:27

Was he joking?

No, I wouldn't begrudge him a sandwich.

katy1213 · 18/01/2021 16:28

I'd have thought he was joking. And told him they sell sandwiches in the shop up the road.

Lollypop4 · 18/01/2021 16:29

I would've said No anyway,
But ,The fact he asked for something within 30mins of arrival and only intends a few hrs work is incredibily cheeky .

Witchend · 18/01/2021 16:30

Are you sure he wasn't joking? It sounds like the sort of jokey comment people make.
I'd have probably assumed he was, although I'd probably have made them anyway, because I like to keep people like that on my side.

I've never had someone ask in that sort of circumstance, so I'd guess if he asked he probably really needed it.

GarlicSoup · 18/01/2021 16:31

@gamerchick

Yes. I don't know anyones personal circumstances and even if they're working they might still be struggling. If someone doing a job in my house asked me for something to eat then I'd feed them.
Completely agree with this.

Really hate the term ‘grabby’ it’s only a sandwich FFS.

daisychain01 · 18/01/2021 16:32

@gamerchick

Yes. I don't know anyones personal circumstances and even if they're working they might still be struggling. If someone doing a job in my house asked me for something to eat then I'd feed them.
Gosh, me too.

Even if it was a bit CF of him, needs come first and a cheese sandwich goes well with a cuppa Grin Especially at a time like this. And it's bloody freezing out there, and he may have forgotten his sarnies in the fridge at home. These aren't normal times are they.

If he'd said can I have a couple of rounds of Finest honey roast ham, pickle sarnies on whole meal bread and a bag of salt and vinegar Kettle Chips, you might have raised an eyebrow at that!

JinglingHellsBells · 18/01/2021 16:32

It's a cheek.

How could it not be?

Posters who choose to offer food- great. I offer biscuits. I even buy in advance for workmen.

But asking for a sarnie? Nope. overstepping the mark by a mile.

chasingmytail4 · 18/01/2021 16:32

I do think he's a bit cheeky, but I would have made him a sandwich if I had the ingredients. Just wondering if I'm the only person who listens to the Archers and thought of Blake, the hungry labourer, who we've just discovered is part of a gang of young men being used as slave labour? Shock

Candyfloss99 · 18/01/2021 16:32

I've been asked before. So has DH. We just make them something to eat. I'd hate anyone to be starving.

TSBelliot · 18/01/2021 16:32

I would have offered but then I married a man who turned up to do the gas so that’s where my bar is. We have some Bulgarian relations and they seem to have a garden party whenever anyone comes. I don’t know if they are typical but it has given me a very favourable impression of Bulgaria.

BackforGood · 18/01/2021 16:32

It depends on circumstances. I’d have asked him if he’d forgotten his lunch. I wouldn’t expect to provide it but if he asked politely for something (not specifying a particular item) and said he’d accidentally left his at home today, I probably wouldn’t mind

This ^

I've never been asked to provide lunch for anyone who has worked at my home. I've never offered lunch. I would, as a rule, expect people to sort themselves out, so therefore, as it is such an unusual request, I would have worked on the assumption there was a good reason for it which perhaps he was embarrassed to disclose.
A lot of people are struggling at the moment. Maybe he has lost most of his work? Maybe he has a family and they are struggling to make ends meet ? So many people are having to turn to food banks and informal offers of free food right across my City. I can afford to make someone who asks a quick sarnie without asking any questions, so I would.

Prior to the pandemic, I would have raised an eyebrow and sad 'Why?'. I'm not generally one for feeding people doing a couple of hours work, but I think life is very tough for a lot of people at the moment.

daisychain01 · 18/01/2021 16:33

Yes, @GarlicSoup calling someone grabby is really mean Sad

shitinmyhandsandclap · 18/01/2021 16:33

Nah, I don't give food when I've had workmen in and they've never asked. Facilities/provisions to make a brew but apart from that I don't think you need to be providing food, especially after only half an hour's work - that's sooooooo cheeky.

Thedogscollar · 18/01/2021 16:34

No I wouldn't be making sandwiches. Surely all workmen bring a lunch box if they know they are going to be out all day, at least all the workmen I've had supplied their own lunch.
I'm more than happy to supply endless cups of tea, coffee, biscuits and cake but that's it.

Rainb0wDrops · 18/01/2021 16:35

It's a bit cheeky but I probably would have made a sandwich too.

My dad was a builder so it's been instilled in me to be extra hospitable to tradespeople.

Although when I was at my rented uni house we had an electrician come out as all electric went off. Barely had he stepped through the door before he made a comment about being gasping for a cuppa and along the lines of - be a good girl and put the kettle on. I wish I'd have the guts back then to fix a hard stare back and say be a good lad and fix the electric and then I will oblige.
I mumbled something about no electric and hid in my room!