Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tradesman asking for a sandwich

592 replies

AtleastitsnotMonday · 18/01/2021 15:49

I’ve had a tradesman working on the outside of my property today. Got here about 11.30, job was about a couple of hours worth of work. About 1200 I went out and asked if I could get him a tea or coffee. He answered “Tea, white with two please, would you be able to knock me up a cheese sandwich while your there?”
Now, admittedly I’m rubbish at saying no at the best of times and I wasn’t expecting this so obliged, even returning to check if he would like pickle/tomato etc with it.”
Dp thinks I’ve lost the plot and he was being grabby and to be honest I’ve only ever made drinks with the odd biscuit before, the only exception being when we had an extension built which was a much longer project and I outdone make them bacon sandwiches on a Friday morning if I wasn’t working.
Would you have made a sandwich?

OP posts:
JamieLeeCurtains · 19/01/2021 00:58

@HoppingPavlova

I would make him the sandwich and then when he hands over the bill, look him straight in the eye and say ‘minus the fiver for the sandwich’. Then have the argument if need be but hopefully it will get it through to him that it’s inappropriate.
Why not just say no, then?
prawntoastie · 19/01/2021 01:05

if I had it I would make it, he could be struggling or forgot to bring money. I don't see it as a bad thing to help others out

ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown · 19/01/2021 01:05

@Wheresmykimchi

I honestly don't see the difference between a few biscuits and a sandwich.
Surely a few biscuits involve the opening of a packet, unless you have bought in ready made sandwiches making one involves a fair bit more work!
PeggyHill · 19/01/2021 01:14

I have never experienced this. How odd!

I will always offer brews and biscuits, and if it's a more long term engagement I will show them where the brew and biscuits facilities are and expect them to crack on themselves.

But being told to knock up a sandwich? Didn't even say please? Never. I'm not quite sure what I would say to that... but it would definitely be some form of no.

8obbingabout · 19/01/2021 01:20

I think you did the right thing OP.

If he asked I would defiantly have made him a sandwich. I would find it odd that he asked though. He must have been starving!

WhenPidgeonsCry · 19/01/2021 01:22

@8obbingabout

I think you did the right thing OP.

If he asked I would defiantly have made him a sandwich. I would find it odd that he asked though. He must have been starving!

There isn't anything defiant about making him a sandwich!

I'd have defiantly told him I had no bread but there's a shop down the road.

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 19/01/2021 01:25

Was he possibly just joking? I have never had a tradesmen ask for a sandwich , dh and my df both tradesmen and wouldn't do this either, unless working for a family or friend.

SaltyTootsieToes · 19/01/2021 01:32

I had this. A few years ago we were having a new patio laid. The firm we hired only sent one guy most of the time so it was back breaking work to dig up very very old York paving slabs, dig drainage etc. As it was hot weather and he was working in full sun, I went often filling up a jug of squash for him. He started asking me for a sandwich. It became the daily routine for a week until the boss came around and told me not to. Thereafter no one has asked and the builders we’ve had since arrived with their own kettle, milk, biscuits etc.

HeronLanyon · 19/01/2021 01:33

Arrived 11.00 for a one off couple of hours job.

Pre COVID era - I’d have been astonished and maybe even have said I ‘didn’t have breAd but I’ve got some biscuits’ type reaction.
Covid era - I would be far far more likely to say yes. Cafes/lunch spots largely closed around here, I’d feel grateful he came out and can only imagine chaos etc leading to him having not eaten/not made his own. Lots of hand washing would ensue before making.
All eras - I would expect him to kind of apologise (I’m sorry to ask but) or explain the request a bit.

briebuiltthiscity · 19/01/2021 01:34

Love a bonkers thread. Of course it’s not normal. It’s not even that normal to be at a friends house and ask for a cheese sandwich if you’re offered a cup of tea.

I do always offer to do lunch etc when I’m doing mine, but that’s a totally different thing.

That said, like you Op, I would still have been saying “would you like salad with that? Shall I put pickle or mayo on” etc - while still being slightly bemused by the request.

AvoidingNextdoorNeighbour · 19/01/2021 01:34

I think everyone is completely missing the point (as one expects from MN so we shouldn't be surprised).

The fact that you would automatically offer tradespeople a tea, biscuits, sandwiches, soup, home baking, a five course dinner made personally by Marco Pierre White and your firstborn child. It's the fact that this man who was only there for a couple of hours, had the cheek to rudely add a food order on to what was being offered without so much as a please or thank you.
He wasn't stuck working at OP's house all day long either. It was a fleeting visit. A short, couple of hours job. He could have eaten beforehand or grabbed something just afterwards. Or even done as everyone else has to, and brought a packed lunch or driven out to a bakery for a sausage roll.

A cheese sandwich is indeed nothing to most of us. Costing pennies and very little effort. But to essentially be told to make a random man one? That's the bit thats out of order. CFer.

1forAll74 · 19/01/2021 01:47

Yes. I would make the man a couple of sandwiches, he might have been feeling a bit weak in the cold. You can usually tell if someone is a real scrounging type.

Disneymum1993 · 19/01/2021 02:01

My gran always makes rolls on sausage or bacon or sandwiches at lunch time with crisps and cakes and cuppa or can of juice and she always tips them as well doesn't matter what they are there to do whether it be fitting a kitchen or the council fixing something .

It's nice to be nice 👍

Marmite17 · 19/01/2021 02:02

I always offer drinks plus food (just sandwiches, toast) if I'm making lunch, don't see them eating and its a long job. Had a very good, cheap painter and decorator who also fixed my garage door, saving me a lot of money. He was a keeper! And ate several cheese sandwiches.
Would rather someone asked for food than feel ill. Not like your guy was asking for caviar. So I would not have a problem with his request.

FlamedToACrisp · 19/01/2021 02:05

@JamieLeeCurtains

It starts off with coffee and a sandwich, the next thing you've had your house renovated for nothing and you end up marrying him.
I know, right? Advantage-taking bastard!
Taikoo · 19/01/2021 02:06

Nope, no way, especially when he didn't even say please.

Wheresmykimchi · 19/01/2021 02:11

@ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown chucking a bit of cheese between two slices of bread? Aye, hours of work.

ImBoredAgain · 19/01/2021 02:12

I’d have probably just laughed at him and assumed he was joking..

Remaker · 19/01/2021 02:24

I think it is very cheeky however I would have made it as it’s a simple request. When we have workmen around they always prefer DH to be here as he buys cake and takes orders for bacon sandwiches. I offer tea and if I’ve got biscuits in the house I’ll throw a few on a plate.

I had a handyman in once and he asked for earl grey with a squeeze of honey. I thought he was joking and laughed before realising he was serious. Umm sorry mate it’s not a cafe! Surely you ask someone if they have a particular type of tea, don’t just request it.

Furries · 19/01/2021 02:59

Tea, coffee and biscuits offered regularly here. They are also forced to take remaining biscuits away with them (so I don’t eat them!)

Only there for a few hours - blooming cheeky to ask you. I’ve had loads of various works done here (pitfall of an old cottage). I have always offered, but every single one has said Along the lines of “thank you, we’ve got our lunch in the van”. One particular local team have it written in their contact that food and drink is not expected, they bring their own (pre-Covid).

I am more than happy providing drinks and biscuits. But, as a rule, don’t think more should be expected. In that line of work, bring a packed lunch or pop to a local shop. Office workers don’t expect their boss to buy them lunch each day!

OtterInDisgrace · 19/01/2021 03:00

What if you were a vegan and had no non-vegan cheese? Bet he would’ve turned his nose up and left you feeling even worse...

cateycloggs · 19/01/2021 03:03

yeah isn't that the point he was being a pushy so and so and also he knew it too from his tone. I am trying to imagine any other kind of job where the worker could expect to be fed unless it's already in the terms of emploment. Surely these trades people are self-employed so perfectly capable of self organisation.

I am saying people but have any one had similar requests from female trades? No thought not. I gave a previous example of being in a HA property having double glazing done and the fitters hinting I should go get their lunches from the shop, I did not. But we have also had teams of painters in including female workers, they asked for nothing or hinted for nothing. I think my neighbour made some tea, I didn't cos I did not want anything to do with them, simply for personal reasons. Just do the job and go.

Nor have I felt obliged to offer anything from a sandwich to soup, three course meals and pies to take home to a post/parcel deliverer or the bin collectors or the street cleaners who I am sure are paid less than trades workers. ? It is another world to me. And it's way better than I or anyone I know is eating now.
Think of all those NHS workers and cleaners doing 12 hour shifts with no time to eat and maybe hours journeys home with out a supply of home-made soup and apple pie. My nurse sister for example, multiple health problems herself, no one to feed her at home, out at 6 am, home at 9 pm, meals that used to be supplied to her patients now suspended so staff don't eat either. As far as I know she hasn't yet asked for a sandwich from her bus driver on the way home on the grounds that he is part of the public she is serving. Neither is the driver doing vice versa on the grounds they are overworked and doing extra shifts stuck in a cab due to Covid. She would die of shame. Why are well paid tradesmen so different? Genuinely don't get it. A cup of whatever to make it clear they are a guest in your home but meals and treats? No.

cateycloggs · 19/01/2021 03:05

Sorry cross-posted with others making the same points more concisely but I am genuinely astonished there is so much free food being thrown around to those not in need.

snugglepuff · 19/01/2021 03:15

Christ it's a fecking cheese sandwich he wanted, not a kidney!
Of course yabu

I'm Irish and id have food ready for him before he knew he was hungry.
Op and those voting yanbu, you must be miserable as hell. A cheese sandwich never reared me!

Hawkins001 · 19/01/2021 03:21

I can understand your frustration, however if it's your improvements, I'd say keep them sweet and hope they do good craftsmanship.