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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this actually allowed?

173 replies

BellCurve · 18/01/2021 09:51

I'm planning our wedding next year and I've just had a venue invite us to look around today or tomorrow. AIBU to be surprised at this?

I assumed that this wasn't allowed during lockdown, but they've just said to wear masks.

I mean, it's probably less risky than it will be straight after lockdown because there'll be no-one using the restaurant, less guests etc, but still, I didn't think this would be allowed.

OP posts:
Yoshinori · 18/01/2021 11:15

I'd go. Can't see why it would not be

Seeline · 18/01/2021 11:18

Leaving home
You must not leave, or be outside of your home except where necessary. You may leave the home to:

shop for basic necessities, for you or a vulnerable person
go to work, or provide voluntary or charitable services, if you cannot reasonably do so from home
exercise with your household (or support bubble) or one other person (in which case you should stay 2m apart). Exercise should be limited to once per day, and you should not travel outside your local area.
meet your support bubble or childcare bubble where necessary, but only if you are legally permitted to form one
seek medical assistance or avoid injury, illness or risk of harm (including domestic abuse)
attend education or childcare - for those eligible

I can't see 'visit potential wedding venue' on the list....

This is for England.

FrackOffMrBubbles · 18/01/2021 11:19

Just because somehting is allowed to open doesn't mean you are allowed to go there

I can understand why this would blur the lines as to what was allowed or not. It's pretty fucking daft isn't it to allow businesses to open that people aren't actually allowed to use.

wildraisins · 18/01/2021 11:19

IHave you asked them how they are justifying it amidst the lockdown? It might be that there is something in place for wedding venues to continue operating like this that the general public don't know about, and they could easily explain to you why they are allowed to do this.

If they can't, then I would be rethinking them as a wedding venue, as it would show they are not being very professional.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 18/01/2021 11:19

I think you should politely decline but ask if they can maybe do a Zoom call with you so that they can walk you around and you can see it via the phone - that would cover all bases, wouldn't it.

Covid regs ARE confusing - even in Australia, where I am, the advice is conflicting sometimes! We've had several experiences of lack of joined up thinking, especially around the "parents on school site" situation (I realise that's not relevant to the UK at the mo) - a lot of the rules appear to be made in reference to individual circumstances, without acknowledging the bigger picture of how that will work in practical terms.

So in your case - yes, the business is allowed to be open and allowed to let visitors in to view - BUT you are not supposed to go because it's non-essential. Conflicting rules.

MNHQ
MichaelMumsnet · 18/01/2021 11:23

We've removed a few posts from this thread.
Just dropping by with a reminder to try and keep things civil please.
Peace and love,
MNHQ

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 18/01/2021 11:24

even if it is "allowed", which seems dubious, being allowed doesn't mean that you are forced to do it.
It's January - you are getting married "next year" - so at least 12 months away. Is it essential that you view potential venues now?
No of course it bloody isn't.

bobbojobbo · 18/01/2021 11:26

I can understand why this would blur the lines as to what was allowed or not. It's pretty fucking daft isn't it to allow businesses to open that people aren't actually allowed to use

Christ, use your brains. They can open and adapt, you can't go to them. The venue can do virtual tours, business online, via phone, and they probably have other parts of the business that can operate.

anyway, it doesn't matter, its irrelevant what businesses can do, unless its your business, you don't need to concern yourself with it. You just need to know what YOU can and can't do, and most of that is completely obvious.
It is obvious that viewing a potential wedding venue is not an essential thing to do. End of story

mumof4andgoingstrong · 18/01/2021 11:29

Do it gal!!!!!!!! This is your day.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 18/01/2021 11:30

It's not contradictory at all. Just because somehting is allowed to open doesn't mean you are allowed to go there.

How is this so hard for people?

Pretty hard for me, actually. What's the fucking point in the business being permitted to remain open if we can't do any .... business?

I'm working. From work. I can't show anyone a wedding venue from home. If we get no customers, there'll be no business and we'll have to furlough the staff. Who, in the name of all that's holy, do you suppose is gonna pay for all this?

We have to keep things going to maintain a future.

Calmandmeasured1 · 18/01/2021 11:31

I think because it’s a business it might be allowed
I think, if in the UK, because it is not an essential business, it is not permitted to open to (potential) customers. People may be able to go to work there if they cannot work from home but they cannot open their businesses up to customers unless the business is permitted to do to under the current Coronavirus laws and guidance.

ClaudiaWankleman · 18/01/2021 11:35

Pretty hard for me, actually. What's the fucking point in the business being permitted to remain open if we can't do any .... business?

I agree. It is contradictory to allow a business to open for click and collect that no one is apparently allowed to use.

HugeAckmansWife · 18/01/2021 11:39

Surely there is an element to this though of keeping businesses and the economy going. Not everything is about Covid. We are no longer in Lockdown 1, a short stint with years worth of healthy trading behind us to fall back on for a temporary period. We are now almost a year in. An empty, large venue will easily allow for SD and masks and its unlikely that many people would book something costing ££££££ without seeing it (much like houses). Shops are open for click and collect for "non essentials" - to say we cannot use them is madness and is precisely why some people ARE being dicks and ignoring absolutely everything because the rules make no sense so sod the lot of them. If the rules allowed for a certain application of logic there might be more success in getting people to follow them. Either these places are open for business and can be accessed, in which case the OP is doing nothing wrong, or they should be totally closed and workers all furloughed. We need a country and an economy to open back up into.

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 18/01/2021 11:42

This is for England
Is that you pointing out it’s guidance for a specific country of the UK or are you being exceptionally patriotic? Grin

bobbojobbo · 18/01/2021 11:42

I'm working. From work. I can't show anyone a wedding venue from home. If we get no customers, there'll be no business and we'll have to furlough the staff. Who, in the name of all that's holy, do you suppose is gonna pay for all this

Funny, other wedding venues can and do. They do virtual tours, videos, etc. Adapt, like others. You're not essential, thats tough for you but hello...PANDEMIC? You might have noticed?

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 18/01/2021 11:55

unny, other wedding venues can and do. They do virtual tours, videos, etc. Adapt, like others. You're not essential, thats tough for you but hello...PANDEMIC? You might have noticed?

Well, it's not my main function. I'm the accountant, so virtual wedding tours really aren't my thing.

We have couples wishing to visit. And we're open so ..... we'll keep on carrying on. But thanks for the advice!

Lauraa7 · 18/01/2021 11:58

Whether you are allowed to or not, why would you risk going? It really doesn’t sound essential?

HugeAckmansWife · 18/01/2021 11:58

bobbojobbo you might get further if you stopped talking to people in such a patronising and offensive tone. Its NOT just a simple equation, nothing is "end of". How about, if my business folds I lose my house and can't feed my kids so I'm going to do my non essential job End Of. Or, I haven't physically touched a single person for nearly year and I might soon be taking up valuable NHS resources following a MH crisis or suicide attempt so I am going to drive more than 5 miles and hug my non elderly relative. End of. Neither of those are true of me personally, but they are for others. A wedding venue per se is not essential but that business might be the lifeline for a family, or the jobs they provide might be. Accessing that business and keeping it afloat in a demonstrably very low risk way is sensible balance, in my view. See how I did that without insulting you or sneering?

bobbojobbo · 18/01/2021 11:59

We have couples wishing to visit. And we're open so ..... we'll keep on carrying on. But thanks for the advice!

So you are facilitating the breaking of lockdown rules for something as frivolous and extremely non-essential as talking about centrepieces and wedding music.
I hope you're proud of yourself. You shouldn't be.

LuaDipa · 18/01/2021 12:01

Non-essential retail is closed to the public, pubs and restaurants are closed the public, wedding venues certainly shouldn’t be open. The venue should not be doing this but I don’t think there is much enforcement tbh. As a pp said there is sufficient technology available today that a potential customer shouldn’t need to view in person.

I can completely understand why presenting the option for an in-person viewing would be confusing to a potential customer though. If a business is offering this service, surely it must be allowed. Very confusing.

bobbojobbo · 18/01/2021 12:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

91divoc · 18/01/2021 12:02

I viewed houses last April during the first lockdown. I was asked to wear a mask and gloves and not to touch anything even though masks weren't enforced back then. My friend brought a car from 200 miles away during Nov lockdown, she went to collect the car and did the paperwork outside so yes it should be allowed if they are inviting you to it otherwise if weren't, the business wouldn't risk fines.

bobbojobbo · 18/01/2021 12:04

Bought. And she shouldn't have

SuperbGorgonzola · 18/01/2021 12:05

I'm surprised they're not offering a video tour to be honest. From their perspective it is a business transaction so they may feel that it's OK.

Businesses need to continue as best they can. They provide lifelines for so many employees and supply chains.

peak2021 · 18/01/2021 12:06

Politely decline, ask if they can send photos or a video. Your daily exercise could be a walk past and peer through the window I suppose if you really think that would help.