To say lockdown has IMPROVED my marriage?

[Tinyfrogface]

I know so many people who say that lockdown has destroyed their marriage, so please don't think this is insensitive.

However, has anyone else's marriage/relationship improved as a result of staying home? My marriage was at breaking point last year. Lockdown arrived, my husband was working from home full time, we have spent almost a year together as a family everyday and life is better than it's been for years. I am actually dreading the day when my husband has to go back to work and not coming home until 7pm each day.

What lockdown has done has made us much stronger and closer as a family. There are no outside influences or other people to worry about and every day feels like a strange sort of holiday. It has been lovely and I never want to go back to feeling the way I felt pre-March 2020, ever.

Yes.

We're both frontline NHS and we have never got on so well. It's made us a team and we're in agreement about parenting.

We have lots to talk about when we're together.

We were in a shit place a year ago (I had depression) but the lockdown has shone a light on us and made us stronger.

I feel like the extra time we have now makes our life together so much more relaxed. We talk, have fun, make jokes constantly, so much more affection, sex, everything 1 million times better and I can't believe the difference. I'm scared of things changing

You just need to agree that even when you have less time you’ll still do all of this but just less often.

We are the same. Prior to lockdown we were like ships that pass in the night. Now we have lots of time for each other. We talk constantly. Dh said the other day that he doesn’t think we have ever spent this amount of time together, even back when we were in the first flushes of love. It has been nice to realise that we still actually like each other and we won’t go back to the way things were previously.

But, I still can’t wait for some level of normality for the dc. While we love all of the extra family time (and I think they have secretly quite enjoyed it too), they need to be with their friends. It’s not good for dc of their age to be cooped up with their parents 24/7. I worry about how this is affecting them an awful lot.

Agreed - we were already probably abnormally insular with each other because we're both homebodies, but being together 24/7 for nearly a year has made us so in tune with one another and we've never run out of things to talk about. It's been a hard year in lots of ways, but I feel very lucky that our relationship has thrived rather than being stressed!

Relationship has always been good. But child struggled with Dad and only wanted mum (SEN). When dad got furloughed they got to spend much more time together which has really made such a positove difference.

Prior to lockdown we were like ships that pass in the night. Now we have lots of time for each other.

This, and I love it. I'm not dreading getting back to routine because I find the pattern very comfortable, but it's been nice to be together more.

There have been difficulties in the last year, but our relationship hasn't been one of them.

No, we are sick of the bloody sight of each other.

I was only thinking this yesterday. I genuinely love him more as a result of this and do not know how I'd have got through the past year without him.

Tell him, not us!

Me too. The one good thing about Lockdown has been that we've had time together to just enjoy each other's company. We've actually found a load of new things we both enjoy that we do together - cooking and board games etc - and I really don't want to lose that when this is over. I still really want this to be over

@dementedma

No, we are sick of the bloody sight of each other.

@dementedma Glad it’s not just me.

yep, it has been great for my relationship too. We are both WFH (and don't have kids, which obviously makes things easier)

Agree. Actually spending time together can help a relationship - who knew?!

Although I’d love a day to my bloody self occasionally.

These are lovely to read although not the case for me!
Far bloody from it!!

Yes. He's spent so much time with our toddler and now understands why I used to nag about all the little things. I've stopped the micromanaging and he's taken some of my ways on board. I think I mean basic compromise that was lacking before!

YANBU
I have loved seeing so much more of my husband, and not having the pressure to have hectic weekends going visiting etc. But then, I love a small quiet life so lockdown has been a gift really.

Yes. Our marriage is better. It has kind of forced us to come together as a team. We still have bad moments but they are lesser and we get through them more effectively and quickly.

We are (separately) both having a lot of psychotherapy though too - think lockdown would have been absolute disaster for us without that space and help to think about things ...

Yep! DH used to work away a great deal, and it put a huge strain on our marriage.

I'm in the Same boat. A year ago my partner was out of the house working 12 hour days and caring for his dying mother whenever he had any spare time.
I had a new born at home. It was a really hard time and we were struggling. In lockdown his hour and days reduced massively and we have got alot more quality time together. Other things have been tough but it has bought us together.

I think I appreciate my dh more. I've realised actually what a great dad he is and how good a team we are.
I really should tell him that