Is there a right time to have a baby?

[Beans13]

Hi everyone,

Basically, I'm wondering if others waited for the 'right' time to have their first child?

I'm only 28, DP is 30. We bought our house two years ago, both have good jobs (although DP higher earner by far) and live in a low cost of living area. We save a lot every month and consider ourselves very very fortunate to be in the position we are in.

However, I've become very broody out of nowhere this past 6 months . I really want to have a baby, I can't stop thinking about it. I want a family, and to have our own family memories. DP is so wonderful, and I love him to bits, I think he would be a very caring father.

I think it hit me at Christmas, when it was just me and DP at home, and it all felt a bit flat and sad IYSWIM?

However, I know DP is not at all ready for kids, however he has definitely warmed to the idea this past year that it is in our future after we are married (which will be this year).

His main reasoning is that he wants to pass his final work related exams that will make him fully qualified (NHS).

Not to drip feed also - I only have one ovary left after surgery from ovarian cysts. This impacts my fertility which is in the back of my mind right now.

I feel like he is scared of the idea, but isn't everyone? Is there ever a right time for children?

There is a right time, or at least right circumstances. I don't believe in the 'no right time' school of thought when it leads to families in awful housing, no money and struggling to survive or abusive/loveless relationships.

However, I'd say with stable incomes, a good relationship and a decent home you're in a good place OP. Just be sure you are both ready and want a child, it's such a huge step (and it's not something you can fully prepare for, me and dh planned our first and the newborn stage almost broke us. DD was not a sleeper). Being completely open and honest when talking about it is a good start so you both know what the other is thinking and feeling and can address any worries or concerns.

28 isn't overly young, I was 26 when dc1 was born and 30 with dc2, ttc was a long road with pcos both times.

Being married first is good advice too, for your own protection.

There's no perfect time, but there are definitely bad times and good times. You sound financially stable but I'd wait until you're married for that added security but I'd say you're in a good position to start trying.