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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Nail polish dilemma

29 replies

sunnyfields25 · 16/01/2021 21:51

Hi all

DS is 3.5 and recently mentioned having seen a little girl with coloured sparkly fingers. He wondered if I could make his fingers look like that. After showing him a few pics online we concluded he was talking about nail polish.

Given the answer to almost all requests (soft play, swimming, days out etc) has to be no at the moment, I thought this is something he wants to do that I can actually say yes to! So I ordered a little pack of water-based, peel-off polishes for kids, thinking it'll be a fun activity we can do one afternoon and then wash off in the bath.

However DS has mentioned showing his nails to the girls at nursery. We haven't actually painted them yet, but I've ended up unsure as to what route to take... On the one hand I'd initially explained that it's normally girls who paint their nails but if it's something he'd like to do that's fine. But I kind of assumed it'd be just at home. I don't know if I'd be setting him up for getting teased by letting him go out with painted nails? Then again, how would I explain that it's ok for girls but not for boys? I don't have a problem with it, just don't want DS to suffer at all due to other people's reactions.

Any opinions/insight would be hugely appreciated.

OP posts:

muser1548 · 16/01/2021 21:55

I'd say it sounds like a great opportunity to break gender norms and stereotypes. At 3 years old let him explore the world around him, try things that make him feel good and encourage that.
Nail varnish isn't for 'girls', it's for nails, and we all have them.

1Morewineplease · 16/01/2021 21:58

It's lovely that he wants spangly nails but be aware that he won't be able to wear spangly nails at school. Most schools don't allow nail polish.

Alonelonelyloner · 16/01/2021 21:58

He's 3!
I have 3 sons and all have worn nail varnish when that age, one even older. It's absolutely fine. Telling a 3 year old that only girlsnormally do something (as innocuous as nail varnish) is othering right from the get go. It's pretty and colourful. People with penises also like pretty colourful things!

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 16/01/2021 21:59

Just paint his nails it's fine. Gender stereotypes are crap anyway, but even if you don't believe that, what can anyone possibly read into a 3.5 yr old wanting painted nails, he's not making a stand or asserting his gender preferences, he's just seen pretty nails and thought he'd like those too. It's like face paint or fancy dress, just fun.

My DD frequently wears 'boys' clothes because she likes NASA, dinosaurs, monsters and sharks, and because she wants thick joggers not thin sparkly ones. She's 6 and so far no ones said anything negative as far as me or her are aware.

Original poster

sunnyfields25 · 16/01/2021 22:13

Thanks everyone, that's made me feel much better about it and I've realised I'm overreacting a bit! I was bullied at school and I think I'm so scared of the same thing happening to DS that I'm wary of doing anything that will make him a target. I need to get my fear of being 'different' in check though as I don't want it rubbing off on DS.

You're absolutely right, I hadn't even realised that saying nail polish is normally for girls was a negative thing but it is. Luckily so far DS isn't thinking of it in terms of for girls or boys, he just wants colourful hands.

Good point about school. I would need to check whether it's even allowed at DS's nursery as they might have similar rules to schools.

OP posts:

YouBoughtMeAWall · 16/01/2021 22:16

Both my sons had their nails painted when they were young. So did a couple other boys in their classes. No bullying or issue made of it by anyone.

partyatthepalace · 16/01/2021 22:51

Honestly don’t think it’s that unusual.

I hope he has fun!

Wynston · 16/01/2021 23:10

He wants painted nails.......who wouldn't they look so lovely!!
I have 2 ds both have asked for painted nails whilst watching me do it.
One put it on and then immediately asked for it to be removed he isnt keen on anything on his hands (like paint).
The other wore it thought it was wonderful.
But quickly forgot about it.
They also like glitter tattoos.

movingonup20 · 16/01/2021 23:12

I have a male straight friend who has black sparkly gel nails (normally).

Godimabitch · 16/01/2021 23:19

He's 3, dont push gender stereotypes on him.

As far as teasing goes, they're 3, it's easy to break any stereotypes they've been taught and nursery staff should be teaching that girls and boys can like the same things.

Future wise, teach him to be confident in himself and not feel the need to fit in, he'll be less of a target and will be able to shut them down. Teaching kids to fit in to avoid bullying just makes them lack confidence and feel uncomfortable in themselves (in my opinion)

Heyahun · 16/01/2021 23:19

Oh it’s fine let him enjoy it :)

burnoutbabe · 16/01/2021 23:22

Do them blue or black or grey rather than pink maybe? I have hundreds of polishes but maybe one pink I got as part of a set. Loads of men at my university have one or more black nails.

Catty1720 · 16/01/2021 23:45

If he wants to let him. Breaking down stereotypes at an early age can only ever be a good thing.

Hawkmoth · 16/01/2021 23:47

I remember doing spiderman nails for DS at about that age (blue polish with red crackle glaze). He loved it and it looked ace.

yikesanotherbooboo · 17/01/2021 00:03

My DS wore nail varnish at that age. It is harmless, unlikely to give him a skin reaction and easily removed . Miles better eg than face paints. He is in late 20s now. It is perfectly fine on every level and has been for the nearly 30 years that I have been a parent. Don't give it another thought.

FASDE1517 · 17/01/2021 07:59

It's not even unusual at all. Both mine have theirs done regularly. They have their toes done during term time.
FIL isn't impressed but DC just excitedly show him their "Liverpool FC" red nails!

Buttercupcup · 17/01/2021 08:05

My 4 year old son currently has green toenails ‘the colour of hulk’. Sometimes he prefers a sparkly pink. I suspect he will grow out of it soon but he saw me doing my nails a while ago and was interested and he certainly isn’t the only boy at his nursery that I have seen with painted nails.

DrWankincense · 17/01/2021 08:09

So fine.
My 4 yo also loves dressing up in my high heels. I never get to wear them so at least someone is getting joy from them!
They are so little, it's not a big deal. Sparkle is not exclusively for girls.

winesolveseverything · 17/01/2021 08:14

My little boy used to love having blue nail polish on when he was 3/4/5 years old. He had a friend with an older sister and he used to have his done too. Think it was mainly on his toes, wouldn't sit still long enough for fingers to dry!

georgarina · 17/01/2021 08:19

My DS always asks for nail polish when I'm doing mine. I'll put it on one finger, he'll say 'So shiny!' and within a day it's rubbed off.

StormyInTheNorth · 17/01/2021 08:21

If people think it strange, thats their problem. He's 3. Paint away! IME it'll start chipping off an hour after he's had it on.
DH likes a bit of black nail polish as do many of our male friendship circle. Very cool.

Cuntitinthebin · 17/01/2021 08:26

My son loves having his toes painted when I do mine (he only reason it's toes is because I never paint my fingers). No one ever said anything at nursery.

Might suggest that as an activity this afternoon now he's not going to school.

dingledongle · 17/01/2021 08:37

My son had his nails painted because his sister did, why wouldn't you?

He also had a doll and a dolls pushchair

In the same way his sister loved Thomas the tank engine

In time, and under social pressure at preschool , he stopped

Let him explore these things

Original poster

sunnyfields25 · 17/01/2021 12:00

Thanks so much for the comments everyone, it's amazing how overwhelmingly positive they are. I think after so long of living in our own little bubble I've started to lose track of what other children my DS's age actually do in normal life.

His little face lit up when he saw his nail polishes have arrived

OP posts:

Glitterblue · 17/01/2021 12:04

DD has a friend who's 11 and he still wears nail varnish.

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