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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be slightly pissed off that he's googled his ex?

30 replies

Magicra84 · 16/01/2021 19:32

I've been seeing someone for a month. All has been going well and he's been very sweet so far and attentive. I found out tonight that he's been googling his ex and this is since he and I got together. Aibu to be slightly pissed off?

OP posts:
sadpapercourtesan · 16/01/2021 19:34

I google people All. The. Time. Blush Just a nosy sod, no excuses.

I wouldn't consider it a huge red flag, unless your intuition is telling you in other ways that there's something to be suspicious about.

WouldstrokeTomHardy · 16/01/2021 19:34

It's only been a month jeez

WorraLiberty · 16/01/2021 19:36

How did you find out?

Baycob · 16/01/2021 19:36

How did you find out ? Are you snooping ? Bad form!

So what? Have you had a bad experience in the past that makes you feel insecure ?

VainAbigail · 16/01/2021 19:37

Mate!! It’s been a month!! Chill out!!

Original poster
Magicra84 · 16/01/2021 19:38

I found out as it came up in his Google when he was searching for something we were both looking at. I joked about it and he said he had googled her since we met.

OP posts:
maddy68 · 16/01/2021 19:38

Haha I occasionally look at old ex's and friends. I don't fancy them I'm just nosy

Travis1 · 16/01/2021 19:39

And you know this how?

Tequilamockinbird · 16/01/2021 19:41

I often google my ex. Mainly to see if he's in prison yet (I live in hope).

DelurkingAJ · 16/01/2021 19:44

I occasionally do out of a fit of nosiness. Usually if they’ve just featured in a dream (frequently about burning buildings whatever that means!). I certainly don’t hold a flame for the chap in question (I ended things 20 years ago).

x2boys · 16/01/2021 19:48

Depends really ,did they break up a long time ago and he's googling out of curiosity ( I may have been guilty of having the odd snoop on Facebook about long ago ex,s ) or is it very recent and he's frequently looking them up?

TrickQuestions · 16/01/2021 19:53

Yes it depends on how long they broke up and the reason why they broke up. If she ended it with him a week before you two got together and left him heartbroken then it would be a cause for concern. If they broke up six months plus ago and it was a mutual break up or he ended it then I don't think it's anything to worry about.

For the record, I search ex boyfriends or people from my past all the time. It doesn't mean anything from my point on view. I'm just curious as to what's happened to them since I last saw them.

LindaEllen · 16/01/2021 19:55

I Google people from the past a lot, and I can hand on heart say I have feelings for none of them. I'm just a nosy cow honestly!

Heartlantern2 · 16/01/2021 19:56

I think it’s normal really.

ComDummings · 16/01/2021 19:58

I google people from my past now and again, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it unless he’s doing it every day or something

CoolKitkat · 16/01/2021 19:59

Don't sweat it, completely normal (runs off to Google if it, is in fact, normal).

Sparklesocks · 16/01/2021 20:00

I Google exes sometimes, and I’m in a happy long term relationship. I have no interest in getting back together with them and it has no relation to how I feel about my DP, I’m just a nosey cow.

Also you’re in incredibly early days. ‘Since you got together’ could mean even a few days after you met.

If he talks his ex a lot and regularly looks her up that’s one thing. But I’m isolation it doesn’t mean anything.

Username1983 · 16/01/2021 20:02

Agree with everyone else - doesn’t mean anything that you need to worry about! I’ve googled exes and 100% NOT because I have any positive feelings toward them. Don’t let it worry you and it sounds like a nice relationship if you were able to bring it up in the way you did.

covidaintacrime · 16/01/2021 20:02

I google everyone! My old boyfriends, my Geography teacher from S2, that bloke my friend's cousin's sister used to date. It's just curiosity.

Only suspicious if there's more hints he's not over her.

VinylDetective · 16/01/2021 20:02

Have you never done that, OP? We’ve been married for over 20 years and both of us have been known to do it.

GreekOddess · 16/01/2021 20:02

If my husband knew who I'd googled he would most probably divorce me!

I'm very nosy want to know what everyone is up to whereas he couldn't care less.

I'm just as interested in an 86 year old ex neighbour as I am an ex boyfriend. It really means nothing.

CoolKitkat · 16/01/2021 20:04

@GreekOddess What's the neighbour up to? Just curious Grin

FilthyforFirth · 16/01/2021 20:05

Jesus it's been a month, he isn't even your boyfriend yet, just someone you're seeing. Chill out!

GreekOddess · 16/01/2021 20:07

@CoolKitkat dead 🙄 but not surprisingly as I'm going back almost 20 years!

x2boys · 16/01/2021 20:20

I think I have to disagree with some posters here' ,I have been with my Dh 16 years I have looked up exes on social media as has he out of curiosity but I'm happy and secure in my relationship ,after a month I'm not sure I would be that thrilled tbh