I have one DD3 and love her dearly but I really can’t shake this feeling I’m failing her.
I have several chronic illnesses meaning I suffer with chronic fatigue as a symptom of those. Pls note fatigue is NOT the same as being tired, fatigue is not relieved by rest, you have to very carefully plan your days to stay within your energy quota. Quite frankly managing my health is a full time job in myself. I use an electric wheelchair when going out and about as the effort walking is insane.
I try my best with DD during the week, doing some home schooling each day (bit of phonics. some counting), in amongst my own part time (literally only work 2 hours a day) work. We watch a couple of films a day so I can lie down. Sometimes on good days we’ll do baking together. But the effort of doing all that as well as obviously chores, cleaning and cooking takes it completely out of me. My hubby gets up with DD in the morning and puts her to bed so I can sleep/rest in those times. He does chores when he’s not working so please no dissing him as he’s a wonderful dad and hubby.
But when it comes to the weekends I’m completely whacked and have to recover from the week just gone. DH and DD go out for walks, play together while I just have to rest. I get regular infections which obviously makes things harder when they come up. I’m CEV so we’ve kept DD off nursery and away from grandparents as feel the risk is too high.
And because I see friends constantly on the go with their little ones I just feel I’m not enough for my DD. She deserves better. I tell her I love her multiple times a day but I still don’t feel it’s enough.
I was emotionally neglected as a child, which doesn’t help as I’m so terrified of my DD ending up messed up like me.
Am I failing at parenting? Pls be honest.