Neighbour reporting me to the council for anti social behaviour

[Smile345]

I'm so stressed and anxious, not slept or eaten in days. We live in a semi detached property. Two children, one a toddler. My neighbour has complained numerous times over the past few weeks about noise.
My husband making a lot of noise leaving for work at 6.30 am, I assured her I would ask him to be quieter. He literally creeps around now. Another complaint, my daughter was like an 'animal' using the stairs, I have now put a baby gate up so she cannot use them. Another, we're banging/slamming doors in the early hours (I have no idea what she's talking about), we're a busy family and are in bed by 10pm! However, I've put door silencers on every single door.
She is incredibly rude when she has knocked the door, making out I'm a bad parent. She's an older lady and a widow and I feel like I've genuinely tried my best to resolve all issues.
I'm terrified of what the repercussions from the council will be as I don't know what else I can do. We both own our homes. Also, it's likely that at some point one of my children could wake during the night (nightmare/illness). Any advice greatly appreciated.

[RandomMess]

How old do your think your neighbour is?

If they are claiming they can hear doors slamming during the night and you aren't then they have an issue - either with their hearing or they are hearing noise from another source, or it is a malicious complaint.

Start keeping a diary.

[CrotchetyQuaver]

I would try not to worry, that sounds like reasonable living noise so her complaint is likely to go nowhere. She may well be known to the council as a serial complainer!

[User0ne]

Stop creeping around - if you're telling the truth then you are making normal family noises at a normal volume.

Keep a log of her harassment because that's what it is. It's likely she has mental health problems and/or dementia. It the council get in touch mention it to them as a safeguarding concern.

[DeeCeeCherry]

I had same from a horrible neighbour, when DCs were little. Council eventually told him 'social, domestic noise' (I think that's how they worded it) was normal and acceptable, and that they wouldn't be taking his complaints any further.

I did contact the Council to say his constant complaining and knocking on my door was harassment

I guess they could see him as the bully he was.

[SpnBaby1967]

I work for an ASB team (well, part of the role is bog standard asb) and if I got this complaint I'd be asking if the compl can record the noise, reminding her that noise from children is class as general living noise and unenforceable and if she still complains I'd be referring you both to mediation in an attempt to get her to understand your view & vice versa.

Ultimately though it sounds like you've made all reasonable changes to limit the noise, and she is just too hyper sensitive to it. I wouldnt be surprised if the council close the case with not further action.

[Smile345]

@ThreeFeetTall

Ask, how do you know she has complained to the council- because the council have contacted you? Or because she has told you? I think the two are a bit different

She has stated this, I haven't heard anything yet.

[TheBeardedVulture]

It could be your neighbour is experiencing auditory hallucinations. My MIL is awful about her neighbours “banging on pots and pans for hours” and has been really abusive to them- they’re a perfectly ordinary couple with a tiny daughter.

[LaceyBetty]

I'm not a worrier, so sorry if this is insensitive, but I wouldn't, for one second, give this another thought. I would laugh at my neighbour in this situation, not try to appease her.

[Greysparkles]

YABU to have not told her to fuck off already

[Iknowwhatudidlastsummer]

You own your home, why do you care? You sound like a lovely neighbour if you are making so much effort.

Noise can be hell, it's true, but it seems you are doing everything you can to minimise the possible inconvenience.

The council will not do anything at all.

[Hailtomyteeth]

She's a nuisance with her constant complaining and will be having an adverse affect on your mental health as well as on your family life. If she's really going to the council, and you have evidence of that, put in your counter-complaint.

[FortunesFave]

My Nan's neighbour started hearing random bangs and knocks when she was in the early stages of dementia. This was in the early hours too...Nan said there were no noises...neighbour thought people were banging on her door. :( Nobody was.

[Thelnebriati]

Stop being afraid of your neighbour. Put your mind at rest by finding out what the council will do instead of worrying about it.

If she makes a noise complaint, they may lend her a noise meter to record the noise you make and if its an unreasonable amount or in unsociable hours they might take action. Unless you are running an angle grinder or karaoke machine at 11pm, you have nothing to worry about.

For the noise to count as a statutory nuisance it must do one of the following:

unreasonably and substantially interfere with the use or enjoyment of a home or other premises
injure health or be likely to injure health
If they agree that a statutory nuisance is happening or will happen in the future, councils must serve an abatement notice. This requires whoever’s responsible to stop or restrict the noise. The notice will usually be served on the person responsible but can also be served on the owner or occupier of the premises.

The abatement notice can be delayed for up to 7 days while the council tries to get the person responsible to stop or restrict the noise.
www.gov.uk/guidance/noise-nuisances-how-councils-deal-with-complaints

[earlydoors42]

My neighbour complained about my son practising his muffled drums for 20 minutes a day at about 4pm (actually she went mental and swore at me in front of my toddlers, and said she'd been playing loads of loud music to get back at me - I hadn't heard it and asked why she hadn't just come round to speak to me about it?! I didn't know she had retired so was now at home in the day).

Anyway I rang the council myself and they said I hadn't done anything wrong, it was fine at that time and for that length of time. Normal noise.

[Amarilike]

I think you need to toughen up a little if I’m honest. Stop being her victim. Normal family noise is nothing the council will do anything about. I’ll bet she’s not reported you but if she had they’ll investigate and ultimately decide against her.

But in the meantime, if she knocks on to complain again, get a little mad. Just enough to tell her that you’re sick of her malicious unfounded complaints, that you’ll carry on living your normal sound level life and that if she continues to harass you you’ll be the one issuing a complaint.

[Folklore9074]

You need to stand up for yourself and your family now. You've tried to placate her to no avail. Time to tell her to sod off. The council are not going to do anything about a little household noise in a semi-detached house if you are not doing anything out of the ordinary. Worse case scenario they will send a sound meter around to hers to measure the noise, when it comes back as normal household levels they will close the case. No need to get upset and loose sleep, if she comes round aggressive get aggressive back. When she realises you're not a pushover she'll learn to live and let live.

[dottiedodah]

I think she is being unreasonable here TBH. She is complaining about normal everyday noises, not an all night rave FFS! There was a similar thread on here a few weeks ago .I cannot see what the Council will do anyway.Maybe if she is not keen on noises ,she could look to buy a detached bungalow in the middle of a fucking field!(Maybe tell her this!)

[AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter]

Please relax. The council will do the following:

1. Ask her to keep a noise diary.
   
2. Once thats done they'll install noise monitoring equipment in her house to measure the decibels.
   
3. They will pick up normal living noise
   
4. they will inform her no action will be taken.
   

We had this issue once and I was so upset, council were lovely about it and told me they had to investigate but took no action as there was no noise They said they know full well which neighbours are trying to stir up trouble and make false claims will tell them to stop it in no uncertain terms as they have a list of "trouble makers'.

[Soontobe60]

We had some trouble with our neighbour in that their dog barked incessantly when they were out. We told them about it and they got very nasty, plus said our dog also barked all day but they weren’t petty enough to complain.
I downloaded an app that recorded the noise made. We set it off when we left for work each morning. It showed that our dog hardly barked, just when the bin man or window cleaner came. He didnt even bark for the post! And when he did, it was 3 or 4 barks. However, it picked up the neighbours dog barking for 4 -5 hours at a time. We played it back to them after 2 weeks, and they were gobsmacked their dog barked so much when left alone.
I suggest you get something similar so you can record the noise throughout the day then play it back to her.

[yearinyearout]

Tbh I think I'd start logging her complaints, alongside your attempts to appease her, and send that to the council!

[DietrichandDiMaggio]

You own your home, why do you care?

You do know the same rules regarding ASB apply, whether you own your home, or not, don't you?
Not that the OP is breaking any rules, but I just thought this was an odd response to her.

[SpongeBobJudgeyPants]

Your neighbour is being unreasonable. Her being 'older' makes no difference to this

[AwaAnBileYerHeid]

You've been too nice to her, especially when she has approached you in such a rude manner. She is making your home life miserable here. Reasoning with such a person will get you nowhere and being so nice in the face of such hostility marks yourself as a doormat and she will continue to harrass you. The next time she comes to your door, you tell her in a loud voice to FUCK OFF and that if she returns, you'll be contacting both the council and the police for harassment.

[BlingLoving]

Our house seems to be quite well soundproofed, thank goodness, but I always feel for our NDNs who are an older couple as I worry we make noise. They have never complained. Not once. The closest they've ever come to even making a comment is when DS was a very difficult, very unhappy baby and they heard him crying in the night once or twice. And even then, it wasn't a complaint it was more a "how are you doing? I think you had a tough night last night" kind of thing. I suspect was a subtle effort to let us know that perhaps if DS is crying we could go somewhere else in the house, if possible, but that's it.

I feel for your neighbour if the noise does travel (and there's something about sound and the air in the morning that it does travel more early morning - I have a vague memory of doing an experiment on this at school) but she's being ridiculous.

[Cuntitinthebin]

My parents neighbour once called the police because the kids the other side were playing in their garden.

Why she bought a house surrounded by four-bed houses, I've no idea. They're built for families so noise is to be expected.