15 month age gap- give me your wisdom!

[Pumpertrumper]

This pregnancy feels like it’s flying by and I’m starting to get a lot more scared at the practicalities of 2 under 2.

Wtf have we let ourselves in for?

Anyone with 15 month age gaps or in that region please hit me with your survival tips/tricks.

(DS is breast fed but on night feeds only now. Aiming for fully off before DD arrives.

Currently in his cot in nursery but have his own bedroom ready to go. Will keep DD in with us (snuz pod) until 6 months so DS will be 21 months roughly.
Debating toddler bed over a second cot as he’s so tall think he’ll be climbing out by then.

Currently make 80% of DS food and freeze it in pots. Planning to do it for both of them and just portion up accordingly.

DH can take a max of 12 weeks off post birth SPL but debating 8-10. Could tag team nights taking a child each? Have contemplated having me and both kids in one room once he’s back at work.

Have a jumparoo and massive 2m long play pen in living room. Assuming won’t be able to leave both kids in it for a while).

I had a 15 month gap with my first two. TBH I can't remember a huge amount because it was hard work (and they are 16 and 15 now!) but it was fun and I remember loving that they were so close. I treated them as twins really - so tried to get them to nap at the same time after lunch, and when the baby was asleep, to make sure I gave my full attention to DS1. Luckily he was very verbal and loved books, and would sit for hours 'reading' which made feeding DD easier.

The hardest bit was when DD started crawling and DS1 would get v frustrated with her messing up his games/train sets etc - the early bits where the baby is static, and if you are lucky, is settled and happy to just lie on a baby gym are fairly easy

Good luck. I ended up with 4 under 7 for a bit, so fairly used to mayhem and exhaustion, but survived, and it is fabulous having a big tribe of lovely teens now, who for the most part, adore each other and all get on really well.

I'm on my phone, and definitely put paragraphs in, but they don't seem to have worked - sorry!

I have a 13month age gap. baby 2 should slip into baby 1s routine. Sync naps!
Never change baby 2 in front of baby 1 as baby 1 will steal baby 2s nappies (light hearted) I honestly can't remember how I got through those early days. My two are 4 & 5 now and just amazing. You will be fine

2 of mine have a 13 month age gap. Best advice is to sort your contraception ASAP after giving birth & to remember it'll get easier. I'll leave it at that as I have nothing positive to say about my experience. I know people who really enjoyed having multiple under 3s (the ones who had lots of support) but I wasn't one of them.

I have a slightly bigger gap. I went for a cot and a cot bed and that worked well. I wish I’d bought a second high chair. I had a special set of wooden card that came out when I was feeding the babi fir the toddler to play with. He loved these card and associated me sitting feeding with a nice play time so I had no jealousy. I did the opposite to syncing naps snd found it easier to have them
asleep at different times.

Sorry that should say wooden cars.

There's 12.5 months between my two DS's, now 1 and 2 and all I can say is that it's exhausting! Just do what you can do and take each day as it comes. It's easier in some ways now than it was when they were younger, but also has its own challenges now (such as the older one hitting and biting his little brother if I leave them alone for more than a minute).

Best advice I can give you is that if you're bottled feeding, take everything upstairs each evening that you may need through the night so you don't have to be awake as long and traipsing up and downstairs in the night etc. I had a perfect prep upstairs and one downstairs when my youngest was smaller, and used to take up the pots of formula ready measured along with the empty sterilised bottles. I also keep nappies upstairs in each of their rooms and calpol, Bonjela etc. I have multiple of everything so that I don't have to search the house to find where it was last used.

The main thing I can say though is that make sure you and your DP/DH are on the same page and that he is willing to do his part. My DP has always done his fair share (or more) of night feeds even though he works full time and we take it in turns to have a lie-in on a weekend. He's under no illusion as to what hard work it is to be home with the boys and he also does bath time and bedtime for at least one of them every evening. Don't feel that you have to do everything yourself. You're part of a team.

Good luck op.

Baby gates are great for making a whole room into a safe space.
We had them across their bedroom and the lounge. That way they could play in the bedroom while I had a shower etc and still see me. I could be in the kitchen and they could see me from the lounge.

Get toddler involved In Helping with baby, fetching nappies, blankets etc with lots of praise.
Story time when you are feeding so they are not left out.
Get them 'reading' to baby etc.

It will be hard but it is doable.

I had the same age gap and treated them both as babies because that was essentially what they were. Dd was the elder one and was in a cot in the same room as us whilst ds was in the crib. When ds was 8 months we moved into our home and dd got her own bedroom and so did ds. It took a while but eventually dd slept through in her own room.

Ds used to have a morning nap initially and then dd and I would play, the afternoon nap was timed together so I could catch up on household chores or better yet go to sleep too.

I made all their meals. I would do laundry on set days aa i found doing it everyday added to the monotony and made me feel down. It is a hard slog but you get used to it. Dh would do bath time and do the night shift from Friday- Sunday so that I could get a full night's sleep. Having a partner on the same page, that will help without prompting was the greatest help.

The first few years have been difficult but now they are both at preschool I would normally (pre covid ) have two mornings a week to myself. They fight but mostly play together nicely.

Super helpful advice thank you all!

Did you actually sleep much in the first year of having 2 under 2? I currently plan to have Me, DH and newborn DD in our master bedroom with DS in his nursery for the first 6 months of DD’s life.

Nursery is right next to our bedroom though and although DS is a good sleeper (currently tends to go 7pm-6am with one wake up), noise does wake him. Concerned DD crying will wake up DS and it’ll be a whole family jamboree.

I have a second large bedroom (as large as master) at the other end of the upstairs which is out of earshot of DS nursery. Equally could move DS in his cot into his own room. Both would put him out of earshot of DD in the night.

What do you seasoned pros think?
Does baby wake the toddler and vice versa?

I had a 16 month gap. It would be a good idea to make the changes you need to make with DC1 sooner rather than later so that they are settled etc. The thing I found made the biggest difference was to have a baby seat for the bath so that they could go in together plus a spare baby chair to put DC2 in upstairs whatever I was doing with DC1. Seems sill I know but I found life was always easiest if I could put down/confine one whilst dealing with the other.