To not laugh at OCD

[Choclover3]

Ok so I'm in a WhatsApp group with about 7 other women, we don't know each other particular well but started a group due to similar interests (movies to recommend, local places to eat ect)
One of the women last night sent a message about how her dp was annoying her because he had smashed a glass in the bedroom and was stressing about it because in her words 'he has ocd about this kinda stuff' a few comments later she then mentioned that he doesn't like eating some foods because he 'has ocd about meat'.
I have suffered from severe ocd since childhood and am still struggling with it to this day. I completely understand that people don't always understand what ocd is but I don't think it's acceptable to laugh at mental health issues. I sent a message in the group to the extent of 'hope your dp is ok? Does he actually suffer with ocd? If so I completely sympathise with how difficult that must be. If not, I don't mean to bring the mood in the group down but please don't make jokes about a serious mental health issue'
The conversation just carried on as if I hadn't commented, the op didn't apologise or confirm anything and they all just carried on laughing and joking.
Shall I leave the group or am I just being over sensitive and unreasonable?

I think many people have no clue what OCD actually is and it is seen as a bit of a joke. If you find yourself with nothing in common with this group and you don't feel comfortable then I'd leave.

Yanbu. Sadly OCD, depression and anxiety aren't taken seriously and people claim they are a "little bit ocd" or that their "anxiety is bad" when they mean they are anxious.
Fucks me right off. But I've seen my son spend a weekend worrying about something and chewing holes in his clothes because something has set his ocd off. I often can't leave the house without extra medication and a person due to anxiety.
But people still laugh about those conditions and think they aren't really serious.

I'm sorry you are struggling with your ocd. Personally I would leave the group.

I think you’ve made you point now and hopefully they will be more sensitive in future. I wouldn’t leave the group if you’re enjoying it.

My DH has OCD but people really don’t understand how debilitating it can be.

People completely misunderstand OCD and I applaud you for calling them out. I have OCD and mine is nothing like any stereotype, nothing to do with cleanliness, order or fussiness, and even for those who do suffer along those themes the difference between what they are going through and what people stereotype is immense. TV doesn't help - rarely do you ever see OCD played as anything other than a joke.

@WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo

Yanbu. Sadly OCD, depression and anxiety aren't taken seriously and people claim they are a "little bit ocd" or that their "anxiety is bad" when they mean they are anxious. Fucks me right off. But I've seen my son spend a weekend worrying about something and chewing holes in his clothes because something has set his ocd off. I often can't leave the house without extra medication and a person due to anxiety. But people still laugh about those conditions and think they aren't really serious.

I'm sorry you are struggling with your ocd. Personally I would leave the group.

Sorry to hear you son also suffers with this. I wish I had had a parent who understood and helped in the way you sound like. Mine started because of sexual abuse by my father as a child and when I tired to talk to my parents a year or so later my father pulled me aside and told me he would tell the police I was crazy if I told anybody else about my ocd. It wasn't until my late twenties when I finally got help for it. I think it's so important that children get the right help and understanding for this horrible mental illness x

@Pukkatea

People completely misunderstand OCD and I applaud you for calling them out. I have OCD and mine is nothing like any stereotype, nothing to do with cleanliness, order or fussiness, and even for those who do suffer along those themes the difference between what they are going through and what people stereotype is immense. TV doesn't help - rarely do you ever see OCD played as anything other than a joke.

I completely agree. Mine is nothing to do with those things either so people don't think that I have 'proper ocd' . I wish people understood the illness more and how debilitating it can be x

Honestly? They were just chatting for amusement, and you brought in something serious and tried to "teach them better". Most people aren't going to enjoy being told that they're wrong, and that's probably why you didn't get any response. They have no interest in discussing something serious or apologising for something that they don't see as a real problem.

If you get enough good out of the group to make it worthwhile to you, there's no reason you should leave. If you're very bothered that they didn't respond, then you're probably better off taking the hint of their silence. This isn't the kind of discussion they're interested in, apparently.

@Choclover3 I'm also a childhood sexual abuse survivor.

My mum uses the phrase 'little bit OCD' and it really annoys me. She means 'anal' but I suppose she's too embarrassed to say that?
You can't be 'a little bit OCD' about labels being the right way round etc

I do try to correct her as it does minimise the severity of OCD. It's like someone who's feeling a bit down in the dumps saying "I've got a little bit of depression today"

Leave the group.
People like that will never understand the severity of ocd and it's impact on daily life.

I developed OCD after a medical trauma and it's a miserable, frustrating prison of a condition. Nothing funny about it at all.

And yes far too many people seem to think its a synonym for being particular and orderly rather than a serious mental health condition that can completely impair living a normal life.

I am so sorry your father did that to you. If the women in the group know this information and make light of it they are not friends. If they don't then they are likely to be a bit ignorant bit not malicious. I am bipolar and spent about a year sectioned and occasionally ask people to think about using the terms mental/crazy/schizo etc. If the intent was benign I wouldn't raise it but if it was about someone truely with a mental health problem I would .

I have suffered from OCD all my life and was diagnosed at 18 after going through a period of Pure O. It is the most terrifying thing to go through. I have been on medication since that age. Sadly the NHS has never been in a position to help me long term although I have had CBT, psychiatry and other bits of talking therapy.

It has ruined my hopes and dreams, relationships and my outlook on life.

To offer a different perspective, perhaps he does have OCD and this is the way she feels able to raise it. Perhaps she makes light of it in some situations because a it’s actually quite a emotional subject. Perhaps she ignored the question as she doesn’t want to discuss it in detail. A friend’s DH has suffered from severe depression at times. It’s hard for them. If you didn’t know about the situation you might think the same. If she arrives somewhere without him (because he wasn’t up to leaving the house that day) she might make a light comment ‘oh yeah DH is miserable today... but he’ll perk up so long as xxxx win the game ha ha’.

@VetiverAndLavender

Honestly? They were just chatting for amusement, and you brought in something serious and tried to "teach them better". Most people aren't going to enjoy being told that they're wrong, and that's probably why you didn't get any response. They have no interest in discussing something serious or apologising for something that they don't see as a real problem.

If you get enough good out of the group to make it worthwhile to you, there's no reason you should leave. If you're very bothered that they didn't respond, then you're probably better off taking the hint of their silence. This isn't the kind of discussion they're interested in, apparently.

This

I don't have OCD, but I've worked with clients who suffer with it. It really annoys me too when people claim to have OCD and trivialise it. I hope in time the way in which language is used will change and it becomes unacceptable to use so lightly.

Im incredibly annoyed at how being thorough is now described as ocd. Im not ocd, I take pride in my work.

I think the others in the group have read your message and taken it on board. People tend not to acknowledge that sort of thing.

Would have been better to speak to her about it privately, I think.

another OCD sufferer here. mine is also not stereotypical cleanliness/organising etc. mine is rituals to stop bad things from happening and highly distressing thoughts that I might accidentally hurt someone I love.

definitley not a joke. it's why I don't discuss mine, even with my partner, because I am so worried it will be spoken about behind my back in the nature you just described or that people will think I'm mental.

I probably wouldn't leave yet though, see if it ever gets brought up again and if it does, with nothing you said being taken on board then think about leaving.

Yanbu and well done for speaking up. If she had actually witnessed her DP with OCD it would knock her sick. She definitely wouldn’t be using it as joke fodder.

Yanbu, but I think you should have messaged her privately.

I can remember when people used mong and references to downs syndrome etc, when they meant that they were being clumsy, having brain fog etc. Hopefully one day people will see that OCD jokes aren't ok. It's something people tend to get or don't. You've told them now it's up to you if you can tolerate it. Not ideal, but that's how it can be.