To be concerned about his children's welfare?

[Hallomi]

I have NC for this.

I very recently called off dating a man I'd been seeing for several months because we have different values. He has continued to message a few times, not constantly, about his family.

I KNOW this is non of my business, I am no longer connected to him and of course never met his children...but I keep worrying about them (because why not add something else to the worry pile).

He and his exdw have 5 children, the youngest is early v early teens. They all live with him because mother is an alcoholic and has physically attacked several children, drawing blood. The youngest still goes to see and stay with his mother, although last time she brought a stranger home and they were drunk together whilst the child was in the house. The child had to be picked up from his mum's early quite a lot due to her drinking. The man I was seeing swears at his children, for example, if they are annoying him he'll call them a fucking dickhead or something. That in itself isn't a crime...its just the whole situation with the children's parents.

Anyway, I can't do anything can I? I don't really want to get involved, I just find it upsetting and feel complicit somehow. I also have no right to get involved, I just wish ss were. I guess I'm just venting and I should trust he knows what he's doing. Perhaps I'm just being judgemental.

These situations are always tricky as so much going on. But your local council will have a number to call to report your concerns and I'm pretty sure you can ring NSPCC anonymously and discuss your concerns with them, they might be able to offer more advice?

Thank you, I'll look in to it. I think what's worried me today is that the youngest is going to his mums again this weekend. Dating guy had said to me he was going to phone SS and ask them about it as they has social work involvement before, but he told me he hadn't bothered to phone. He said when SS involved previously everyone was sheepish and didn't tell the full truth about what was going on.

Also aware I'm only getting a tiny bit of the story.

Please make a report op. It all adds to the bigger picture.

Turning a blind eye to child abuse makes you complicit.

ring NSPCC

This makes me so sad. Please report it.

I want to report it...I'm just confused about what I'm going to say.

2 children are under 16. There's a lot of swearing in the house, I think there always has been. The straw for me was when he refered to his 18 yo as a cunt. I don't know about the timing around the mother scratching the children and drawing blood, he didn't say if it was pre or post social Work involvement, or if ss were told. It was only a few weeks ago the mother brought a stranger round to drink when youngest there. Other times when the youngest has asked to be picked up early I've been told it's because his mum is annoying him because she's been drinking again...I don't know what goes on.

It is always better to report concerns than keep quiet about them. If you report to NSPCC/SS, they will make a note of it. It might not be enough for them to act on it's own but if other people are reporting similar concerns they may be able to launch an investigate. You can report anonymously.