I'm in a relationship with a man who isn't perfect. But I like him alot and I don't see that his imperfections are a reason not too give him a chance. Mental health runs through his mother's side. Some of the women have bipolar and the men tend to have depression.
The man I'm seeing has battled with his mental health for 20 years. He's got it under control massively with tablets. He's working. Had good solid relationships. He went through a stage where alcohol was the only way he got through a day. But he hasn't touched it for over a year. He says it's like a poison to him. He got the help he needed. He says he won't touch it again and I believe him. I'm not saying anything is 100% forever but he is working full time. He's rescued a dog. He's a dad. He's there for anyone having a bad time and will tell them how he got through. He has such a good heart underneath the struggle. I really do believe that and can see it.
We met and a friendship has just blossomed into love. We became like best friends and I guess we still are but now we are also two people who are wanting a future together. It's all going good. But there's one thing that I've noticed him doing that perhaps is him feeling a little insecure. Perhaps he isn't doing it on purpose. Perhaps I'm reading Into things. But I've noticed him contradicting himself on really small things. I'll give some examples.
I moaned a few weeks ago that I'm constantly getting accident claim calls. Someone was calling me from London each day. He said why? Then he said it never happens to him. He never gets spam calls. Then he said a few days ago he's forever getting weird numbers ringing him.he said I don't give my number out so I don't know how they get me. Then he said it's usually agencies chasing him for work. He is able to operate large construction vehicles and he gets alot of work coming in which I know is true.
He told me at Christmas he was going to look at a job to do over Christmas as he hates it. He went with a traveller he's friends with . He made it sound like he was getting the work. But he said two weeks later that the traveller was paying him less than the other workers for doing the job. I didn't say anything but he claimed it was his job and not that he was working for someone else.
I put a picture of a candle on Facebook last week to thank the person who got me it. Yesterday he was telling me he once went into home bargains and found all these nice candles at a good price. I asked him what they were and he said it was the exact candle I got. But said it was empty and he had finished that one.
Finally he had a photo from his past on his wall and he told me had taken it down as i politely told him I could see him kissing his ex in the background. But since then he's been taking pictures in different places which makes me think he hasn't removed it.
I haven't been around since this new lockdown so I don't know for sure.
These are just examples. But I wonder if he's just wanted to impress me. I know he lacks confidence in himself. He didn't feel any women would want him from his past. But I have told him as we've got to know eachother that as long as he stays on this path and he's doing what all adults do he deserves to have a normal life with a partner. But I get it will take time.
I just want to know if you think these little things are an issue or just small things that are insignificant.
I feel like with time he will learn to feel comfortable and confident in relationships again. He still gives himself a hard time.
Would appreciate anyone's experience with partners with mental health.