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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the woman on the till at Tescos was bloody rude??

24 replies

kitsandbits · 27/10/2007 20:31

I was packing my shopping whilst my mum loaded the rest onto the conveyer belt and my 2 sons (almost 3 and 18 months) were in the trolly, ... this convosation follows

her - Hi

me - hello

her - do you need help with packing?

me - No thanks Im fine.

her - Are they your kids?

me- yes

her- Gosh you mush have been young when you had your first, like 15??

me - no 19 actully.

her - why did you have them??

me - excuse me?

her- just wondering why you have them

me - because I wanted them. and ny face must look like this

(a cold silence ensues)

OP posts:
Original poster
kitsandbits · 27/10/2007 20:32

I didnt say 'my face must look like this' by the way

just forgot to hit 'return' lol

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 27/10/2007 20:32

Goodness me, that's a rude question.

Well, all her side of the conversation was rude, other than 'do you need help with packing?'.

Heated · 27/10/2007 20:33

Possibly someone who has been told as part of 'customer care' to talk to the customers but has no idea how to?!

meemar · 27/10/2007 20:33

OMG!

Kewcumber · 27/10/2007 20:33

people just don't think really - what did she think you were going to say to "why did you have them?"

Original poster
kitsandbits · 27/10/2007 20:34

I know I was a bit shocked actully.

She said it in a really odd way too, like why on earth would you want kids.. did you get PG by accident? sort of way!!

OP posts:
Mummywannabe · 27/10/2007 20:34

YANBU - was she young? perhaps she is pregnant or thinks she might me and looking for reassurance from someone else? Take it as a compliment that you look so youthful!

NotQuiteCockney · 27/10/2007 20:34

Maybe she never got a Facts of Life talk? And was hoping you might fill her in?

Original poster
kitsandbits · 27/10/2007 20:35

She was a young indian woman.

OP posts:
cazboldy · 27/10/2007 20:36

I was 15 when I had my first, and loads of people just said to me "was it too late to have an abortion?" like I was mad for keeping him. and since then, I now have 5 children and people ask me things ( usually when I am shopping) like "are they all yours?"
It makes me so

MrsLynetteScavo · 27/10/2007 20:40

"Why did you have them?" That's just the most stupid question ever!

I can't decide if it's more stupid, or rude!

southeastastra · 27/10/2007 20:45

it sounds like she was just being friendly, don't over-analyse it

milward · 27/10/2007 20:50

gosh caz - what a thing to say to you. What do you reply to that?

kits - she was really rude to you - you must look fab though.

Kewcumber · 27/10/2007 20:51

kits it sounds to me like you look young for your age and that she is too young to realise that there is no way of making "why did you have them" sound anything other than either intrusive or offensive!

cazboldy · 27/10/2007 21:19

we have always said he was an accident, but not a mistake, and from the minute I knew he was there I wanted him.
he was 11 yesterday btw

TotalChaos · 27/10/2007 21:34

oh dear. I think she was being nosy, and didn't realise it sounded so rude iyswim.

milward · 28/10/2007 13:08

caz - Happy birthday for your ds

cazboldy · 28/10/2007 17:03

thank you.

pointydog · 28/10/2007 17:18

very rude

LoveAngel · 28/10/2007 17:19

OMG how rude! Silly cow.

lucyellensmum · 28/10/2007 17:20

Caz - blimey, five children - wow

I would probably be one of those commenting i have to say, but not out of disapproval, out of respect!! A friend of mine had four boys under 5 by the time she was 24, the eldest is 16 now and they have to be the most polite, well behaved boys i know.

Kits, when i was pregnant with DD1, the midwife turned to her collegue and said "oh i hate seeing these young mums, you know they will be back in a few years with a string of babies from different fathers" turned to me and said "you are not going to make that mistake are you" I'll never forget it, i wanted the ground to open up and swallow me - if she had made that sort of comment to me now i would have made her eat her words, but at 19 i was too scared. She will be interested to know that i did go on to have another child, by, shock horror, a different father, 15 years later, after getting my degree and PhD.

Its quite cool having a 17 year old at 36, i can tell people i was a gymslip mum and knock a couple of years off

cazboldy · 28/10/2007 17:24

oh yes i get the "do they all have the same dad?" question too, which is quite odd, as they all look remarkably smilar!

lucyellensmum · 28/10/2007 17:34

i think i would reply to that "yes, isn't it amazing , he is sooo virile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cazboldy · 28/10/2007 17:37

lol lucyellensmum! also quips like "don't you have a telly" and "you must be catholic"

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