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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Need a hand hold

51 replies

Susiepants · 13/01/2021 18:59

My lovely dad was diagnosed with cancer last year. He had surgery before Christmas which went well but he's been very unwell over the past few weeks. His heart rate was up and he was dehydrated so he was admitted to hospital.

He was due to have a meeting to discuss his prognosis at hospital tomorrow anyway. The consultant has now told him to call my mum to ask her to be present for the meeting tomorrow. The cancer has spread. This isn't going to be good news is it? He is only in his late fifties. I can't process it right now. I keep telling myself it might be to discuss a care plan or treatment, there's still hope. But deep down I'm really fearing the worst. He is such a wonderful person and so full of life. This feels so wrong. I have no idea how I will approach this with my young dc. I can't even think straight.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 14/01/2021 14:55

I hope everything goes well today.

Susiepants · 14/01/2021 16:44

It was the worst news. Weeks.

OP posts:
LivingMyBestLife2020 · 14/01/2021 16:47

So sorry to hear this. Sending you a huge hug x

B33Fr33 · 14/01/2021 16:56

Sorry your family is going through this at the moment Flowers. The waiting to hear can feel so terrifying. Try to distract yourself for now. I know that's hard. Maybe a bit of Disney, or a predictable easy read book? I know that's not much but trying to keep your mind on something light until you know what the situation actually is. Actual facts are easier than imagi ing, for me anyway. Remember to eat and drink, try to sleep.

B33Fr33 · 14/01/2021 16:58

Oh. No. Just saw your update I'm so sorry. Do take care of yourself. Eat, drink, sleep, talk to your family, repeat. Brew

AlwaysCheddar · 14/01/2021 18:24

So sorry.

MaintainTheMolehill · 14/01/2021 22:21

I'm so sorry, this is a terrible time made even worse with whats going on in the world. I really hope that you get to spend lots of precious time with your Dad and that you have people who love you who can give you strength to get through this.

Thinking of you and your parents Flowers

thesunwillout · 14/01/2021 22:34

I'm so sorry.

X

Brenna24 · 14/01/2021 22:39

I am sorry. It is horrendous.

Imnotaslimjim · 14/01/2021 22:39

I'm so sorry to hear you're update. It sounds like he has the same cancer as my dad. He was diagnosed in mid-August and died late November. Has he been referred to the palliative care team? They were incredible with us and dad.

Do keep talking to us, I've found it really helps. It was so fast, it was a lot to take in and accept and I'm not quite there yet but I will be, one day.

Feelingconfused2020 · 14/01/2021 22:42

So sorry to hear this. Thinking of you and praying for you xx

TeddyUrsa · 14/01/2021 22:44

It is very hard and I'm sorry to read this news. It's like a punch to the stomach isn't it? The panic and terror you feel doesn't really have words to describe it.

That panic and terror will pass. It just will. Right now it's one day at a time and I promise you'll get through it

I lost both my mum and dad in 2019, within 8 weeks of each other. I honestly felt I was going mad with sadness and I read your post and it all comes back again - so I know how you feel right now. It's awful telling your kids and the 'waiting game' is terrible

You have time to say goodbye which I promise you will be a blessing and comfort to you in months/years to come. A lot of people don't have that and although it's just absolutely shit as a 'bonus,' it will be something you come to treasure

Wishing you peace and strength in the times to come.

VimFuego101 · 14/01/2021 22:45

I'm so sorry. Did the hospital give you any suggestions to contact support organizations like Macmillan?

polkadotpjs · 14/01/2021 22:46

I'm so sorry to read this update. Sending love

MumW · 14/01/2021 22:49

So sorry you've had this news.
Concentrate on making the best of the time you have left. I hope this shitty covid situation doesn't prevent you being together in person.

With the DC, I think you have to try and let them take the lead.
Hugs to you all.

SquigglePigs · 14/01/2021 22:50

So sorry to hear your update. Love and best wishes. Look after yourself.

feellikeanun · 14/01/2021 22:52

I am so sorry for you and your family. I have been through this with my dad and it's the most heartbreaking thing. Sending love to you all.

dublingirl66 · 14/01/2021 22:52

Gosh I am so sorry
Thinking of you and your family ❤️❤️❤️❤️

AbbeyBelfast · 14/01/2021 22:54

Sending you all my love, I'm truly so sorry. ❤️❤️

quietlyspoken08 · 14/01/2021 23:03

I am so sorry sending love to you and your family xxx

MartiniDry · 14/01/2021 23:09

I'm so sorry. I can only send wishes of strength and love, but I give them in abundance.
Take care of yourself honey.

GoodbyePorpoiseSpit · 14/01/2021 23:13

I’m so sorry Flowers

m0therofdragons · 14/01/2021 23:13

Op the cancer teams are allowing a partner for meetings where the patient will have a lot to take in and if there will be chemo etc they like to speak to both the patient and partner as they can support both. Even with covid they are doing this, not just for terminal cases. Take deep breaths and wait until you know what you’re dealing with (easier said than done I know).

m0therofdragons · 14/01/2021 23:14

Oh gosh, I just saw there was a second page. I’m so sorry. Take care of yourself xx

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 15/01/2021 04:02

((((HUGS)))) I'm so very sorry xx

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