Home learning

[RogueRebel]

I'm a single parent, I have been working from home since March 2020 just before the first lockdown due to early school closure due to staff shortages.
I am not a key worker, however I am in a role I can fully complete from home.
During the first school closures there were simple worksheets for the children to complete - I have two both now 12,10.

Since September my oldest who is ASD has transitioned to secondary school which has been very traumatic due to the primary refusing to give an EHCP once she was diagnosed at 9.5.

I am now struggling to keep both kids focused working online while trying to complete my work full time. A job I need to focus 100% on so mistakes are not made as they are difficult to correct.

When it was just the worksheets I was able to negotiate starting work 2 hours early 6am and have the time back over the middle of the day to sit down with the children. This is now not possible as online classes for one and online work for the other are scheduled during my working day.

The senior school are now checking in and when I am not available to answer a call due to being on work calls, meetings or just needing to concentrate on a difficult task they are calling non resident parent who is using this to cause further stress to an already stressful situation.

For background he was abusive and I have suffered depression,panic attacks and anxiety for over 10 years because of that situation. I thought I had worked through it and my symptoms are a-lot better and rare.
Now he's demanding I do certain things and has suggests I quit my job or go part time for the children - he pays £180 a month towards both children so wouldn't even cover half of my rent. I've worked hard to get this job returned to education, I feel it's a very good job, no weekends, reasonably flexibility for the children, and I am very aware I have been so lucky in working from home during this time where people are losing their jobs.

My anxiety has become bad again and panic attacks have returned.

It would be completely unreasonable to expect me to quit a perfectly good job which normally fits around schooling and the children for this pandemic? I am sure I wouldn't be able to claim anything in benefits anyway and I don't want to.

But would it be unreasonable to call the school explain the situation and remove him from the contact list?

Don't quit yet. Can you request furlough, unpaid leave, flexi-time or go part time?

I'd also send a lengthy email to the school highlighting your situation. I'd drop some of the work and focus on the basics.

Your ex can fuck off. Why isn't he homeschooling the kids on some days?

Absolutely contact the school, tell them what's going on with you. Tell them that nrp won't help with schooling and will make things worse for you.
Don't give up your job, try to work with the school in order to make things more manageable. This won't last forever!!

@ChristmasinJune

Absolutely contact the school, tell them what's going on with you. Tell them that nrp won't help with schooling and will make things worse for you. Don't give up your job, try to work with the school in order to make things more manageable. This won't last forever!!

This

No, don't quite. Yes, contact the school.

It's not ideal, but in your situation I might give up on the online classes, and actually home educate. You could probably manage it in the evenings mostly, if they can do some work in the day alone.

Which would be kind of sucky but less annoying.

Call them, speak to the Head, explain your situation and ask. I rly that they remove his contact details & do not disclose anything to him. Tell them what is possible for you to do school work wise. Try to meet any small requests if you can (like registration at x time or saying hi once a day or whatever) but largely tell them it's not possible.

They have to be seen to be doing xyz, but most schools seem reasonable in their understanding that parents are working & that certain things are not possible fir certain children.

IF they're obstructive - call the LA etc

Look after yourself & your MH.

xx

Absolutely contact the school, tell them what's going on with you. Tell them that nrp won't help with schooling and will make things worse for you.
Don't give up your job, try to work with the school in order to make things more manageable. This won't last forever!!

Completely agree

Talk to the school and negotiate a better system for when they need to talk to you. Give them a specific time that you'll be available, or train the kids to answer and say "mum's busy until 11.15", or persuade the school to email instead. Perhaps whoever is calling hasn't registered that the second contact is non-resident.

Definitely contact the school seek out the eldests tutor or Head of year or senco and start there. I'm not sure you can get nrparents name removed but you can at least explain the situation and make them see the harm they are causing. I'd then block him if need be as the kids are with you. There is an argument that your eldest at least could class as eligible for a school place perhaps.

I will call today and see what they suggest.

On Tuesday I received an email from the teacher who called and I explained I am working full time from home and the best option is to email and arrange a time where I can ensure I am available. But the next day it happened again.
They have mentioned a school place however just getting her into school on a normal day is a nightmare - she has to be collected from the office by a certain member of staff in tears whilst having a full ASD meltdown.
Her dad did cause an issue on missed days and I suggested he come and collect her and do the school run (he wasn't working at the time) to see how bad she suffers however as soon as I suggested it he informed me he was starting a new job straight away.
The school have been great with her up to the point making changes to help her cope and very understanding on bad anxiety days when she is unable to attend.

I do get frustrated that he is only showing interest now, he has refused to attend any school plays, appointments, even the ASD appointments over the last 10 years of the children's lives. I asked him to have the children for some of the school holidays - but he informed me he would need to use his own holiday allowance and he needs that time for him .

I asked him to have the children for some of the school holidays - but he informed me he would need to use his own holiday allowance and he needs that time for him.

I'm not surprised by this update. Next time he calls you, I'd strongly tell him either pull his weight or fuck off. Cut him off.

Contacted the school today and they have put on her file that he is not to be contacted unless an absolute emergency. They have put I'm working from home and cannot always answer but have put my email as an alternative.

Luckily the receptionist knew who my child was from witnessing the way she is accepted into school via the office.

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