Would you make your primary age child isolate from the rest of the house?

[Oileo]

Obviously presuming households with no additional clinical vulnerabilities or elderly relatives or risks.

I was online earlier with my son and a child mentioned they couldn’t do something as they have to isolate in their bedroom. I asked the mum by text, thinking it was a mix up, but she confirmed that her 8 yr old has a positive case in their school bubble (Keyworker parents, not though with health) so is isolating away from siblings/ parents in her bedroom. I know it’s certainly not her class’s first period off in isolation, so recently they have spent nearly a month in their room alone.

Tbf I luckily haven’t been in this position myself, but I guess I’d presumed households just mainly stayed in together and that’s what I’d planned to do if we had a positive contact. I can’t imagine not hugging or being close to my 8 yr old for over a week. Being practical we also all share bedrooms and have one bathroom anyway. The child seemed ok in themselves.

Yabu- yes, if our kids have had cases in their bubble they’ve stayed in their room alone for the period

Yanbu-we let them move around the house as normal

This makes me so sad. My DS is almost 8 abs I would never make him stay in his room for 10 days. Horrible.

Absolutely not. Aside from anything else, if a member of a household has COVID it's going to be almost impossible to prevent it spreading regardless of what you do.

I couldn't even do that if dd was positive and I am clinically vulnerable. It would be cruel.

Not a fucking chance I’d do this and anyone who does is seriously risking a mental impact on their child far longer lasting and more dangerous than covid

@Confrontayshunme

I isolated alone and it kept the rest of my household safe, which is worth it. My 8yo would be lonely but cope. Others might not. It isn't abuse if your chhild undderstands and can cope. Even just 5 to 7 days out of 10 could protect the rest of the family.

And what is they then came down with it, reading temperature, bad city, generally feeling shit. Nothing severe of course just a nasty flu like thing, would you really roll him the bottle of calpol and tell him to crack on with it?

I might try and discourage him from licking his brothers but that would pretty much be our limit, but he's 5 so no way could he be alone all that time.

I do wonder what would happen if DH or I got it. I invisage him isolating in our room, me crashing in with the 5 yo and bringing him for and drinks. I invisage me getting on with it.

Just because a child seems happy to detach themselves from the real word and be void of all human contact for a prolonged period of time doesn’t mean it should be done. It’s not really a positive sign that little Timmy sat on the Xbox for a week and didn’t notice the time going by.

As a contact wouldn't isolate them at all from the rest of us. We have already discussed what we would attempt to do if a child was positive - I'd look after the child in our upstairs playroom and our bedroom/bathroom (and garden at separate times). My husband would look after the other in the rest of the house and provide meals! Obviously if I was sick we'd have to rethink.

What?! No?! DS (4) has had covid symptoms this week (just tested negative thank goodness). I brought him into my bed so I could watch him better!

Not a chance! My DS6 had it first, didn't even cross my mind to even slightly distance from him. He sleeps in my bed for starters, would have been incredibly cruel to kick a young sick child out of his usual bed/sleep routine. I inevitably caught it. I was braced for it and luckily came off not too badly, although I admit I was nervous becuase of personal experience of young, fit healthy relatives and friends suffering badly. But there's no way could I have stayed away from my little limpet for 10 days! My 10yo however took it VERY seriously and when we were infected insisted on staying in his room, no hugs, no kisses, meals brought to him, whole hog. He's very science-brained and rseaeched the whole thing very carefully. He called us his biohazard family for weeks 😂 He was not at all affected, loved every second of being hauled up in his room with his laptop and his books, exempt from chores, fed and watered on demand, 'for personal safety and the greater good'. I think it does depend on the child tbh.

I also think that if your young child is "fine" and "happy" to be isolated from the rest of the family for 10 days alone in one room and/or not noticing then it doesnt reflect that well on the family.

I also think that if your young child is "fine" and "happy" to be isolated from the rest of the family for 10 days alone in one room and/or not noticing then it doesnt reflect that well on the family.

It really depends on a) the personality of the child b) how creative the family are when it comes to making the isolated child feel included.

When I was young, it was normal to e.g. not let a child with measles, l mix with their siblings. So the whole family would pull together to make sure the sick child did not feel neglected. If they needed nursing one parent did that, but nobody else entered the room. That didn't mean signs couldn't be held up in front of the windows, cards and toys and hand-made games couldn't be left outside the door, we couldn't talk and sign through the window. And these days, of course, there's the internet.

It was precisely because my family were so inventive about still making me feel part of it, it was precisely because I felt so secure in their love, that this sort of thing didn't worry me too much.

My FIL had TB as a teen. No, he was not allowed to mix with the family. TB was a killer and they all knew it. Now he did feel very unhappy with the whole isolation thing, but from the way he told it, it was clear that was because they handled it very badly, they just didn't have that creativity and light touch. Their lack of understanding was what he blamed them for, not for refusing to spread a potentially killing disease to the rest of the family.

No I wouldn’t, my dh had it and I shared a bed with him and shagged him, my dd 9, had it and I still kissed her etc, we just decided to let it play out really. The other 3 of us in the house either didn’t catch it or had no symptoms. But I wouldn’t isolate an 8 really old unless absolutely necessary, such as the pp mentioned with chickenpox and a sibling with leukaemia .

I think Kingat’s comment was directed at me. I wasn’t going reply, but I think I will.

This thread has been a useful reminder to me that every family is entirely different, with different situations and experiences and the people best placed to know what is best for their child and their wider family in these difficult circumstances are the people in that family.

Personally, at this point I can’t fathom letting a possibly infected older child interact with the rest of the family, but then I know that my view on that is because of a set of very specific other health circumstances in our family right now.

At this point, with what we have going on, I’d rather my child spent a “holiday” in their room for 10 days, chatting with their friends, getting lovely treats delivered them, giving me comedy ratings on each meal tray etc than risk them infecting someone else in our family that would likely cause wider heartache (and potentially longer lasting mental issues that would be more significant to them than those caused by 10 days playing their Xbox and watching films).

So to sum up, nobody has has any idea what people might be going through at the moment and the fact that my child did their bit to keep someone precious in their family safe at a vulnerable times does, I think, reflect rather well on them and our family actually and made me very proud of them.

Not a chance we’d isolate 7yr old ds. But then dh and I both wfh. If I was a carer or otherwise had contact with the very vulnerable I guess I’d keep me and ds separate but that would be by isolating me not him.

Mine is 9. I wouldn't do it because it would be damaging to him, but as a child from that age onwards I would have been extremely happy to be allowed to isolate in my room (and pretty much did anyway).

I don't think it should be the norm, and shouldn't be attempted with younger primary aged kids, but I think with a suitably independent child and loving, engaged parents, self isolation is feasible with no lasting ill effects.

So how do you make sure your child gets their one hour a day of exercise if they're shut in their room?

According to some of the posts on here, some of these children have been sitting inside in their rooms, totally inactive and glued to screens while being given all their favourite meals and treats, for up to a month. How is that healthy? I can't think of a better way to set a child up with weight and health problems going forward.

Do you genuinely believe that 10 days of no or limited exercise under exceptional circumstances is going to set up a child’s eating and exercise habits for life?

But some people aren't talking about 10 days. They're talking about repeated isolations of over a month in total, combined with sweets, other treats and favourite meals being pushed through the door.

A young child who is used to regular exercise would have great difficulty coping with being shut in a small room for 10 days. For sedentary children who are used to being inactive and don't mind it so much, I would be very wary of further entrenching unhealthy patterns of behaviour.

The next crisis after Covid will be children's physical and mental health. We're deluding ourselves if we pretend that repeated shutdowns of school, organised sport and activities and leisure facilities, combined with multiple stints of isolation, aren't going to have a long-term effect.

For those who don't think it is a serious problem to confine their children in small spaces for long periods of time...

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/government-snack-obesity-coronavirus-lockdown-b1779973.html

www.economist.com/international/2020/07/19/lockdowns-could-have-long-term-effects-on-childrens-health

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/britains-childhood-obesity-crisis-made-worse-by-lockdown-d9pqnpfd3

link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40200-020-00682-2

www.bda.uk.com/resource/the-childhood-obesity-pandemic-now-more-important-than-ever.html

So what do you suggest? I think we just have to do the best we can for our own circumstances and stop judging each other. No-one wants to be doing this. These are extraordinary times and we’re all just having to do what needs done for now.

If there are no vulnerable family members, I don't think isolating the child within their room is appropriate.

If there is a vulnerable adult, it should be the vulnerable adult who isolates away from the household not the child.

If there is a vulnerable child separate to the isolating child, the isolating child should be allowed out of their room to use any outdoor space such as a garden so long as they don't come into contact with the other members of the household.

If there are two adults, one would ideally isolate with the isolating child to make sure that the child has company and activities to do and doesn't spend all day watching TV and playing electronic games.

Just because their child is isolating doesn't absolve anyone of their responsibilities as a parent. They still need to make sure their child gets sufficient companionship, healthy food and exercise. Screen time limits still need to be applied.

It is categorically unacceptable to leave a child of that age alone for that period. Their emotional needs would not be met.

If there is a family member who is vulnerable then I would expect a caregiver to isolate with the young person.