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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

... to share this explanation of the Autism spectrum

407 replies

KihoBebiluPute · 13/01/2021 09:50

This isn't a thread-about-a-thread but I wrote a version of the below in response to another thread that then got deleted before I could post it. I think it's useful information so thought I would start a new thread that isn't about one particular person but just general info.

Posting in AIBU because the original thread was here though.

The Autism spectrum isn't a line from "mild" to "severe" - it's like there's a colour wheel, and each person's symptoms are like a different cut-out shape across different sections of this wheel, so no two people with autism have exactly the same issues to contend with. There isn't a "mild" end of the spectrum which is almost the same as being a neurotypical person - NT people are not even on the same colour wheel at all. Terms like "mild" and "severe" are really unhelpful because they tend to refer to how much the issue is perceived by a neurotypical person. Someone can have a particular issue quite severely in terms of how much stress and difficulty it causes them, but may mask the issue. Obviously some people have much more significant challenges than others and may have additional conditions as well as the ASD, but people who are able to function to some extent in society don't have a less intense type of the condition, they are just affected in a different way.

... to share this explanation of the Autism spectrum
OP posts:
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easterndreaming · 13/02/2021 07:00

I think this just about proves the point, in more than one sense. The fact that you have written that, thinking that you can to speak for whoever has an autism diagnosis is telling, in that, either that you have not read the thread, or have, understanding, been unable to recognise that this was exactly what many parents find irritating. Your experience is not irrelevant for you, clearly, but you cannot speak for others. You are not the voice that other people with autism cannot pronounce.

easterndreaming · 13/02/2021 07:05

I was replying to mally2020. I wasn't taking a dig at you, by the way, so hopefully it doesn't come across t like that.

BlankTimes · 13/02/2021 11:01

I hate people who don't have autism and telling people with autism what it's like JUST ASK US JEEZ

Well, Mally2020 , you could ask my DD, but she wouldn't be able to tell you. She doesn't have a low IQ either, attended mainstream school to AS level. If you gave her a blank piece of paper and asked her to write down how autism affects her, she'd freeze. She can be selectively mute with strangers.

So yeah, carry on and explain how autism affects you but don't presume to tell anyone else how autism affects my DD, because you really don't know.

Potnia · 13/02/2021 11:36

Total agree with @fastwigglylines post. As a parent of an ASD child who, hopefully, will lead a “normal” life I will stand besides those parents who’s children won’t. It must be utterly heartbreaking and frustrating getting them the support they need. Whatever language they want to use to describe their children is fine by me.

And ASD doesn’t alway equal a struggle. My DH would likely be diagnosed, identified as at least sub threshold ASD, he’s had a much easier life than me and has better social skills in some ways, and handles anxiety better.

This is similar to other identity politics issues, race and gender for example, where some races/genders are seen as more oppressed than others and it’s a competition to be the most oppressed.

5zeds · 13/02/2021 12:46

@Mally2020
I hate people who don't have autism and telling people with autism what it's like JUST ASK US JEEZ
Do you know anyone with significant communication difficulties and autism, high or low functioning? Know them well enough that your impression of their lives could be more valid than their own using the channels of communication they have or the people who provide the support they need to be heard?
Shame on you.Angry

IdesMarchof · 13/02/2021 12:49

@Potnia agree and also stand beside parents of dc who have autism which isn’t so called HFA

IdesMarchof · 13/02/2021 12:51

Just to echo that one person with ASD can only speak for their personal experience eg my dd has no issues with texture, so she couldn’t personally speak to another person with ASD’s experience with that

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