to ask you what helps you to get relaxed?

[Sweetener12]

In December I started a new job and even though I love what I'm doing and my colleagues are very nice and friendly, I can't get myself into other activities without thinking about some work stuff. I've always been very responsible but now it seems to cause problems as I feel nervous and worry about doing things perfectly fine and on time all the time. I know there is no reason for me to be that tensed about everything because I'm doing fine, but I still can't relax and calm down. Any advice?

I can't come up with any ideas other than pushing yourself to forget about work stuff for some time. You know, "It's the weeking, I don't know you, you do not exist" kind of attitude when it's your free time.
I can also recommend turning off all the notifications and spending an hour our two doing your own stuff. I found out that monotone stuff also relaxes, so you can sort out files on your laptop or do video collages, or draw (there are also websites like Weavesilk that let you draw abstract things with the mouse). Also check out relaxation and meditation music, Soundcloud has plenty of these playlists, like this one for example.

Here’s my list
Peloton
Brisk walk listening to a funny podcast
Candlelit bath watching something engrossing on Netflix
Calling a friend and talking about anything but covid or work

Exercise is my real go to. Walking even in the pouring rain quickly for 20 mins makes me feel reset at lunch and able to deal with the afternoon .

Podcasts! An endless supply of storytelling. Try Reply All to start with.

Yoga, walking listening to a book or podcast, bath with a book.
Also don't be too hard on yourself you're still very new in the role.

Yes to podcasts and exercise - running and yoga are a great combination. Endorphins from running and yoga for deep stretches, flexibility, breathing, strength. Saying all of that I am never fully relaxed or anywhere near, I just accept that!

Guess I'll have to accept being partially tensed, too, as I can't even remember how it felt being relaxed and calm. Thank you all for your recommendations!!

I also find I think a lot about work outside of working hours. I go for a run 3 times per week, and I inevitably think about work during that sometimes. But I actually have some good ideas during that time, and in a way I like that (I find running boring and always have think about something!!).

As stated by others, I strongly recommend walking and listening to a podcast. When I do that I really do switch off and relax. No work thoughts then, I just listen to the content.

I also find cooking and gardening relaxing. And of course having a w*nk

I have a really good vibrator. It's called the Millionaire. He hits the spot every time.

@Orangesarenottheonlyfruit my suggestion was going to be something similar

My list is great music
Walking
Cooking
Hot bubble bath
Hugs with my cat

Home workouts, the kind that are so intense all you can think about is not collapsing. Scorching hot baths and guided meditations. I get my workouts and meditations from a free app called FitOn. Its done wonders for my mental health and squashing that nervous feeling in the bottom of my stomach.

Sertraline. Can't imagine being without it.

@Orangesarenottheonlyfruit the womanizer is pretty good for a bit of relaxation too

Exercise - walk, run, yoga, peloton

Meditation

TV

Glass of wine

Friends

For me it's the following:
Walking and indoor cycling
Listening to podcasts on my Shakti mat
Baking and cooking
Doing the crossword with DH

I've been working mostly from home for most of the past year, and that is new for me. I know it's been a challenge for people I work with to make a gap/divide between work and personal time. That works both ways, doing home stuff during work hours, doing work stuff during non-work hours.

One thing I do to help with that divide is at the end of every day I follow routine of putting on my coat ... leaving my home office space ... and going for a 30 min walk. It's like the commute at the end of the day (but a 30 min walk instead of a one hour drive).

And of course all the normals help too, reading a book, listen to podcast, masturbate, etc. However I find I don't relax watching TV or listening to new radio.

... listening to news/current affairs radio

OP, I could have written this message myself. Also, all my work reviews are great but I always feel like I am missing something, or that I am behind! Total imposter syndrome. I can't remember the last time I felt totally relaxed either, and that's even when I don't actually have anything pressing to do, in those cases get worried because I don't have anything..

For me, the best short term fix is to have a bath after work and zone out from reality.

I have also noticed that if I make sure I do something, however small, that I am proud of and feels like an achievement every day so that in focus on the positives.

I also started gratitude journaling for a while which helped but fizzled out, must restart.

If you have Amazon music there is a great meditation on there. It is called Meditation for Sleep and Relaxation by Mindfulness Training. It is 30 minutes long.

Agreed on the good vibrator.

Also, for me: antidepressants, podcasts, whisky.

ASMR videos
Mindless TV binging
Games, especially repetitive time-management games
Hot bath and a book

If you can't remember being relaxed or calm then its really time for professional help surely ? What would you say up a friend who told you they were this stressed?

A really(really) large glass of wine sipped slowly. Okay I know that's not going to be helpful overall (alcohol being a depressant and what have you!) but when my DC were babies I REALLY struggled to switch off in the evening and was always tense with one ear on the monitor. I tried all the above but the only thing that really helped was a glass of wine. I could literally feel my muscles relax and my shoulders drop from their usual perch at my ears!

I should say I only drank a glass one or two nights per week - not every night!

An hours walk at about 6.30pm
A nice shower with hair wash.
A beer
Read a book or magazine