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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if Anxiety is an acceptable excuse for not wearing a mask?

827 replies

balihai550 · 12/01/2021 21:19

Just this...I had a mild panic attack in M&S today because for some reason masks make me feel closed in and like I can't breathe.

So I took it off and then had to explain to three people why I couldn't wear it. Anxiety in their view wasn't a good enough reason.

I often try to get online shops but atm all the ocado, Sainsbury's and Waitrose slots in my area are gone, so have to venture out.

Is not wearing a mask because of Anxiety and panic attacks unreasonable?

OP posts:
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5
coulditbeanymorerubbish · 19/01/2021 19:27

@GodOfPhwoar specifics are of course relevant!

Someone could be putting their own health at risk by wearing a mask or a strangers by not? I'd care more about my own just as another poster said she didn't care about someone's daughter, only her own. That is natural.

Bizawit · 19/01/2021 19:28

YANBU. You’re exempt from wearing a mask if it causes you “significant distress”. You don’t need a drs note. Declare yourself exempt and no need to share the reason.

Henio · 19/01/2021 19:35

Next time this happens try stepping aside out of the way of people and take some deep breaths in through your nose right into your abdomen and hold it for a few seconds and then slowly exhale, do this a few times and see if it helps you to calm down, the feeling of not being able to breath is horrible, but you don't want to end up with covid and not actually being able to breath, so just try and focus on those deep breaths and keep telling yourself you can breath its just anxiety

GodOfPhwoar · 20/01/2021 01:26

[quote coulditbeanymorerubbish]@GodOfPhwoar specifics are of course relevant!

Someone could be putting their own health at risk by wearing a mask or a strangers by not? I'd care more about my own just as another poster said she didn't care about someone's daughter, only her own. That is natural.[/quote]
The poster you are paraphrasing was me.

My point about the specifics is that it doesn't really matter to the person who dies of covid why the other person wasn't wearing a mask.

GodOfPhwoar · 20/01/2021 01:32

I have another colleague who does wear a mask but it doesn't look like he's ever washed it.

Why would you when they cost less than a quid each? Most people just put on a new one when it gets tatty.

BoJoHoNo · 20/01/2021 10:31

I have another colleague who does wear a mask but it doesn't look like he's ever washed it. Why would you when they cost less than a quid each? Most people just put on a new one when it gets tatty. Because like many people he wears one for just for show. Like the people who wear them over their chin or with their nose poking out. Plenty of adults don't even bother washing their hands after using the toilet. I know this because our counter is right next the corridor for the toilet and I hear the flush and then see them come straight back out.

catx1606 · 20/01/2021 12:31

Anxiety aside, no one apart from the shop workers have the right to ask you why you weren't wearing a mask. If people see someone not wearing one, if it really bothers them that much, just keep the distance.

Anxiety is one of the excemptions, end of. It doesn't matter whether you agree with it or not, that's how it is.

What I would say is, try wearing one for a few mins every day, gradually building up to an hour. Theres no harm in trying.

Lovely1a2b3c · 20/01/2021 18:14

@BoJoHoNo

I have another colleague who does wear a mask but it doesn't look like he's ever washed it. Why would you when they cost less than a quid each? Most people just put on a new one when it gets tatty. Because like many people he wears one for just for show. Like the people who wear them over their chin or with their nose poking out. Plenty of adults don't even bother washing their hands after using the toilet. I know this because our counter is right next the corridor for the toilet and I hear the flush and then see them come straight back out.
Yuck!!
Lovely1a2b3c · 20/01/2021 18:21

@coulditbeanymorerubbish

Non-mask wearers aren't prisoners to confine to their houses, they haven't done anything wrong Hmm
Mask non-wearers aren't to blame for their medical/psychiatric conditions and don't need to stay at home- they can enjoy outdoor exercise in one form or other; meet a friend outdoors for a walk etc.

They just need to not breathe viral particles all over supermarkets when other people may become seriously ill or die from it (unless they have no other choice).

'Prisoners in their own homes' is unnecessary emotive language. Who really loves the supermarket that much?

redpencil77 · 21/01/2021 00:43

Oh feck off! Exemotion is thete forva reason, noone has to prove anything Equality Act 2010, if people take advantage of the system that's the fault of the system.

If you are complaining to a person because they are using a legal, protected entitlement then this is discrimination. If yiu are concerned about shop employees being protected, lobby the supermarkets along the line that they have not fully taken into consideration legitimite, rightful non-masked shoppers

redpencil77 · 21/01/2021 00:44

*exemption is there for a reason

ChimaeraEgg · 21/01/2021 00:47

My family are my priority, over and above the mental health problems of strangers.

Yes but presumably those same strangers' priority ranks higher to them than your family so I'm not sure what point you're trying to make here really.

ChimaeraEgg · 21/01/2021 00:48

Mental health, that should say.

Lovely1a2b3c · 21/01/2021 15:45

@redpencil77

Oh feck off! Exemotion is thete forva reason, noone has to prove anything Equality Act 2010, if people take advantage of the system that's the fault of the system.

If you are complaining to a person because they are using a legal, protected entitlement then this is discrimination. If yiu are concerned about shop employees being protected, lobby the supermarkets along the line that they have not fully taken into consideration legitimite, rightful non-masked shoppers

Legally people are allowed to not wear a mask without giving a reason but legally shops are allowed to deny people services unless they have a valid disability (six months or more of a life-restricting (not life-limiting) health condition.

The Equality Act 2010 would only apply to people who can prove they have a disability and as a disabled person I know that most truly disabled people are used to having to provide documentation about their disability over and over again for lots of different reasons.

redpencil77 · 21/01/2021 17:32

Yes, I agree, they are a shop so can stop anyone they like coming in. Still, it would be insulting having to carry a diagnosis letter around with you especially if the disability is invisible. Sainsburys have messages on a loop reminding people of this. I wonder what % of people actually go maskless anyway? Any I have seen don't seem to be the irresponsible yobs anyway, they have been quiet, distanced, unobtrusive.

Lovely1a2b3c · 21/01/2021 18:07

@redpencil77

Yes, I agree, they are a shop so can stop anyone they like coming in. Still, it would be insulting having to carry a diagnosis letter around with you especially if the disability is invisible. Sainsburys have messages on a loop reminding people of this. I wonder what % of people actually go maskless anyway? Any I have seen don't seem to be the irresponsible yobs anyway, they have been quiet, distanced, unobtrusive.
I think that some towns seem to have more people not wearing masks than others. I asked my parents about our town (had to move back with them due to my illness) and apparently the number of non-mask wearers is very low. Other people have reported 50% in different towns- I just don't think that that % are truly unable to wear a mask.

I do think that some people really cannot wear a mask but I think that for them shopping without a mask should be an absolute last resort after trying online deliveries, click and collect or asking a friend or family member to shop on their behalf.

I am perfectly prepared to present documentation of my disability in the situations that I need to do so- it's always very intrusive and slightly stressful but surely for not wearing a mask in a supermarket a simple medical note with 'This person is not able to wear a mask due to disability' signed by a GP would do? At least that way people who just don't feel like wearing one would have to.

Eleganz · 21/01/2021 18:12

It is, but it is also just so easily abused by people as an excuse not to wear one. Issuing a medical exemption card to people (which was simple and easy to recognise but contained no information about the condition suffered) is something that should have been implemented. Instead we have this awkward situation where it is impossible to tell if people are genuine or just selfish lying bastards.

AnitaB888 · 21/01/2021 18:13

OP, have you tried a visor?

coulditbeanymorerubbish · 21/01/2021 23:28

@Eleganz anyone could blame their doctor. It is impossible to know, so people need to mind their own business.

coulditbeanymorerubbish · 21/01/2021 23:32

Blag not blame

RiojaRose · 22/01/2021 00:01

Still, it would be insulting having to carry a diagnosis letter around with you especially if the disability is invisible.

The constant question in my mind is whether it’s worth insulting people to save lives.

glitterwobbles · 22/01/2021 00:07

Yes surely people with genuine reasons not to wear a mask do not want to be responsible for others suffering.
Now have 3 covids in my house. Havent slept for days. Keep having flashbacks to when my son was in itu with flu. Surely no one thinks their anxiety is more important than mine.

Lastbonestanding · 22/01/2021 00:14

Could you get home deliveries or have someone else pick up the shopping?

I think that anxiety is a valid reason. One of my DC has anxiety and nothing can make them do something that causes their anxiety. They would rather die they are so scared.

Lovely1a2b3c · 22/01/2021 00:22

@glitterwobbles

Yes surely people with genuine reasons not to wear a mask do not want to be responsible for others suffering. Now have 3 covids in my house. Havent slept for days. Keep having flashbacks to when my son was in itu with flu. Surely no one thinks their anxiety is more important than mine.
Oh no glitterwobbles. I hope they're doing okay? Are you doing regular oximeter ox sats checks? (I guess if some of you are ECV then you're maybe used to doing them?).

Thinking of you.

Lovely1a2b3c · 22/01/2021 00:24

@RiojaRose

Still, it would be insulting having to carry a diagnosis letter around with you especially if the disability is invisible.

The constant question in my mind is whether it’s worth insulting people to save lives.

I think this is the problem for some supermarket workers- challenge people and risk insulting them or don't challenge them and potentially let them spread Covid to families who may lose someone.

This is why medical cards would be a good idea. There'd be no need for them to specify the particular condition- just 'This person is disabled/medical exempt' but issued by a GP or consultant would do.