Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To ask if Anxiety is an acceptable excuse for not wearing a mask?

827 replies

balihai550 · 12/01/2021 21:19

Just this...I had a mild panic attack in M&S today because for some reason masks make me feel closed in and like I can't breathe.

So I took it off and then had to explain to three people why I couldn't wear it. Anxiety in their view wasn't a good enough reason.

I often try to get online shops but atm all the ocado, Sainsbury's and Waitrose slots in my area are gone, so have to venture out.

Is not wearing a mask because of Anxiety and panic attacks unreasonable?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
donewithitalltodayandxmas · 13/01/2021 12:39

Do people not get that anxiety is very different for all people?
All those I have anxiety and I manage ? Well you may but something that makes you more anxious might not make someone else.
Advice telling OP to gradually try using mask or different types etc are helpful, but comparing isn't as you don't know why that person is anxious , maybe its trauma related.
Lots of people in masks piss me off as they then think they are invisble and the 2 m rule doesn't apply, So I would rather be in a shop 4 m away from someone who can't wear a mask for a genuine reason than 1 m away from someone with their ill fitting mask personally speaking.
The trouble is prob only a few genuine people that really can't manage a mask for 10 mins and too many have used as an excuse so ruins it for those few genuine ones who really to find it extremely hard.
I suffer from anxiety and can wear a mask, but mine goes through roof in other circumstances where lost wouldn't have an issue .

gamerchick · 13/01/2021 12:41

Even if you dont think she was, then what was her point? my anxiety is more important than your anxiety? or anxiety doesnt need treating? or what? Yes, many medics will suffer, shall we send them all ignorant nasty comments and tell them to get on with it as well or?

They are getting on with it Hmm you'd have plenty to say if someone refused to treat your loved one because they're anxious about the PPE and just can't do it anymore. You'll be understanding of course.

MaxNormal · 13/01/2021 12:41

Mask wearer don't want their family members to become seriously ill or die as a result of non-mask wearers, it's quite simple really.

Whereas people that can't are of course delighting in the thought of their loved ones hauling off and dying. That's why they do it of course - the underlying reasons are all made-up bullshit and they just want to kill their family members and yours. You figured it out.

Glamflimfloogety · 13/01/2021 12:41

In my opinion, no it's not a good enough excuse. This is coming from someone who has loved with crippling anxiety following a car accident, which resulted in me being unable to drive for a long time. I undertook a course of CBT and I'm now in a much better place. I'm able to drive (albeit still nervously) but it no longer prevents me from going about my business.

Anxiety isn't this big mysterious incurable disease. It is something one must learn to manage and live with. There are many therapies available which help overcome the mental and physical symptoms. These can easily be employed to wear a mask.

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 13/01/2021 12:42

Also we have no proof that op that posted is a dr , its an anonymous forum , I can claim to be anything.

anniegun · 13/01/2021 12:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ProudAuntie76 · 13/01/2021 12:42

@TrustTheGeneGenie

I really don’t think it’s ok to feel you have the right to put the lives of other people at risk because you can’t wear a mask

yeah, i mean people with disabilities dont deserve the same rights as everyone else do they?

FFS. This is discrimination, plain and simple. Its digusting how up front people are about how they are happy to create an underclass of people who are not allowed out into society because of their health conditions.

Shielded people have had to stay in for months.

It’s nothing to do with disability discrimination.

It’s consideration for the lives and healths of EVERYONE.

You don’t get your life back if you’re dead from Covid. Kids don’t get dead parents back.

Why is it ok that supermarket staff are put at risk every single day by loads of people who won’t or can’t wear masks? Or people who won’t or can’t shop alone?

It’s temporary. If you can’t wear a mask or you can’t shop without bringing your entire family along, find another way to shop until it’s safer.

Bollss · 13/01/2021 12:43

@gamerchick

Even if you dont think she was, then what was her point? my anxiety is more important than your anxiety? or anxiety doesnt need treating? or what? Yes, many medics will suffer, shall we send them all ignorant nasty comments and tell them to get on with it as well or?

They are getting on with it Hmm you'd have plenty to say if someone refused to treat your loved one because they're anxious about the PPE and just can't do it anymore. You'll be understanding of course.

perhaps they are, but that really doesn't matter. Anxiety is different for everyone. Just like two people could break their left leg, one might cope better than the other, they might recover quicker. You cant say "im coping so why arent you" and a doctor should know that.

a doctor refusing to do their actual job is not comparable.

LucilleTheVampireBat · 13/01/2021 12:43

Almost disappointed that the "preferable to a ventilator" comment was wheeled out so early Sad

Never going to get a full house now.

MaxNormal · 13/01/2021 12:44

I'm pretty sure that "front line" doctors had to deal with their patients dying before the covid outbreak, it's not like we had eternal life until covid came along and changed all of that.

Bollss · 13/01/2021 12:44

It’s nothing to do with disability discrimination

saying that someone should not have the same rights as everyone else because they have a health condition, absolutely IS disability discrimination.

anniegun · 13/01/2021 12:45

every local council has support services using volunteers to get essential supplies to those who cant shop . Just because Ocado cant deliver is not an excuse to put shop workers at risk

Pyewhacket · 13/01/2021 12:45

No it isn’t.

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 13/01/2021 12:45

@Glamflimfloogety yes because cbt is very easy to access isn't it ? And people never have relapses.
Your anxiety related to a car accident , and wouldn't necessarily reflect to mask wearing , where as trauma maybe related to mouth or nose covered would give a very different feeling
You said yourself you had to get help to get over your anxiety , that isn't easy in normal times , its even harder now. I waited 9 months for cbt on nhs and hadn't finished it when this happened , so waiting again.

IMissFrance · 13/01/2021 12:46

It's not a good enough reason. No.

I suggest you get used to it at home.

I have diagnosed anxiety. And my therapists all advise the same for anything that's causing me anxiety - to confront it and overcome it.

I'd say this method is even more important seeing as you could be saving lives by doing it.

MaxNormal · 13/01/2021 12:46

Shielded people have had to stay in for months.

Shielded people were advised to stay in for months. It's an important distinction.

Superfoodie123 · 13/01/2021 12:48

Wow, just shocked at the lack of empathy on this thread, this pandemic really has bought out the worst in people.

The masks haven't done much im reality, we're in a worse position than we were when masks weren't mandatory and when the WHO were saying they did nothing for us.

But yes, use the masks to show how righteous you are and turn on someone like a pack of wolves when they can't wear one for whatever reason. The people on here sound stuck in the 1970s when mental health was stigmatised and people were told to 'just get on with it'

Astormofswords · 13/01/2021 12:49

I have anxiety and had the same experience in Sainsbury’s. Most of the time I’m fine but I thought I was was going to pass out. I didn’t take my mask of though as I think I’m more worried not to wear one.

As other PP have said maybe practice at home wearing one and see how it goes. Even if you can only wear it for 30mins that’s all you need. Or if you really struggle try online shopping with other supermarket. If you struggle could someone help with the shopping on your behalf?

I personally wouldn’t go into the supermarket not wearing one until you have exhausted all other options.

SpilltheTea · 13/01/2021 12:49

No matter people's personal opinions, you are exempt as per the rules. Try wearing a mask around the house or walking around outside with it on.

ProudAuntie76 · 13/01/2021 12:49

@TrustTheGeneGenie

It’s nothing to do with disability discrimination

saying that someone should not have the same rights as everyone else because they have a health condition, absolutely IS disability discrimination.

Where did I say “not allowed”?

“Shouldn’t have the choice?”

“Shouldn’t have the same rights as everyone else?”

I think the morally decent thing to do is to accept that if you can’t wear a mask, you are putting other people’s health at risk, and you should find another way to shop until it’s safer.

That’s my opinion. I’m allowed it. I have a significant invisible disability. It doesn’t entitle me to be reckless with the lives of other people. I’m not going to say, “there’s a one in a thousand chance I’m going to have a fit at the wheel but I get panic attacks on public transport so I’m going to risk it and drive a car anyway”. I change my life accordingly and adapt to my illness in the safest way possible.

Bollss · 13/01/2021 12:54

ok so you are discriminating, got it! thanks for clarifying.

covidaintacrime · 13/01/2021 12:55

I change my life accordingly and adapt to my illness in the safest way possible.

Yep, which in this context could easily be socially distancing and washing your hands. There is a reason why the government has recommended multiple preventative measures, so that they interlink and most people will be capable of doing at least a few.

2020in2020 · 13/01/2021 12:55

Fucking hell. Mumsnet is absolutely terrible right now. I would love to see all these people who taking delight in thinking of witty replies about ventilators say it in public to someone’s face. Probably the same people who were posting “#bekind and competitive wailing about nasty people on social media when Caroline Flack died.

What are you going to do to feel superior when covid is over? Go back to being “horrified” at people eating McDonald’s and having loo brushes. Pathetic.

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 13/01/2021 12:57

Do people also realise wearing a mask only reduces risk, along with other things like 2m etc ,

Glamflimfloogety · 13/01/2021 12:58

[quote donewithitalltodayandxmas]@Glamflimfloogety yes because cbt is very easy to access isn't it ? And people never have relapses.
Your anxiety related to a car accident , and wouldn't necessarily reflect to mask wearing , where as trauma maybe related to mouth or nose covered would give a very different feeling
You said yourself you had to get help to get over your anxiety , that isn't easy in normal times , its even harder now. I waited 9 months for cbt on nhs and hadn't finished it when this happened , so waiting again. [/quote]
Actually yes it is. CBT isn't big woo woo science. It's simply techniques that help you disassociate from what is causing you trauma and allow you to think logically. The NHS isn't the only route into CBT. Many employers now offer employee assistance programs free of charge, and mental health is one of the basics covered. These programs allow you access counsellors and therapies over the phone or online. My employers one has several online modules that you can access independently. Then there's always YouTube. Most of CBT is just breathing techniques, with positive thinking thrown in.

I've had many relapses, at points I've been unable to even be a passenger in a car. It was a significant trauma, and something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life but I can't avoid cars forever. This anxiety has bled into my everyday life, to the point I panic at loud noises and struggle to go to the supermarket when it's busy, but I have to deal with it if I want to eat. Masks make me incredibly anxious, I hyperventilate and I've had panic attacks so I know how it feels - but I deal with it and still wear the bloody thing because it's the right thing to do.