To ask if Anxiety is an acceptable excuse for not wearing a mask?

[balihai550]

Just this...I had a mild panic attack in M&S today because for some reason masks make me feel closed in and like I can't breathe.

So I took it off and then had to explain to three people why I couldn't wear it. Anxiety in their view wasn't a good enough reason.

I often try to get online shops but atm all the ocado, Sainsbury's and Waitrose slots in my area are gone, so have to venture out.

Is not wearing a mask because of Anxiety and panic attacks unreasonable?

@LAgeDeRaisin

Hi OP, I'm a doctor on a covid ward.

I get anxious wearing a mask and full PPE at work because lots of my patients are dying of covid. I get stressed because the visors steam up and make it hard to see to cannulate/do other procedures. My anxiety is made worse because all of these things can slow down how fast I can treat patients, how quickly I can move from one patient to another. The time lag to attending an emergency.

This whole bloody pandemic is awful for everyone. We've all got to do things we really don't find comfortable. People are dying, and it's people like me that have to (over and over and OVER AND OVER and over again) call hysterical families to tell them their brother, son, sister, daughter, mother, friend, whoever is dead. Dead forever. Dead when they might not be dead if everyone wore a mask, at all times, when out of their own homes.

Why should your anxiety about masks override my anxiety about another mass of the population dying? People who otherwise might be leading happy lives for many more years?

Why does your anxiety trump mine?

Just because you can't see the outcome of your actions, doesn't mean I dont.

Next time you feel anxious in a mask, leave the shop and come in again once you've calmed down. Don't risk somebody's life.

Wow, if you're a doctor, shame on you. You should know better than that. And you of all people should know how half the 'masks' being worn do diddly-squat!

Which makes me think you're probably not a doctor at all.

There will be a reason for having panic attacks. OP needs support psychologically, and mental health reasons as well as physical reasons can be included for exemption.

OP, try to mitigate going out because you do have a responsibility towards others, and if this is how people are they it will only add to your problems. But if you have no choice, then wear a lanyard and see a psychologist because having panic attacks is not a good place for a person to be in, and there's always an underlying reason for it if you look back far enough.

@OrangeSamphire

It really depends on how it affects you OP.

I find masks make me feel anxious, short of breath and claustrophobic but I can manage it for about an hour, so I do.

My daughter cannot. When she puts a mask on, she hyperventilates and then collapses. Repeatedly. She wants to wear one and has tried so hard, but can’t. But part of her therapy / recovery is to make sure she gets out of the house and also I can’t leave her home alone ever so she comes shopping with me. She wears a lanyard, sanitises, distances from others and is as safe and respectful of the rules as she can be.

It would do her no good to stay at home the entire time. Doing normal things like grocery shopping is just about keeping her on an even keel. I can’t risk her becoming suicidal again. So going out without a mask is what she has to do.

You make a fair point, OP, perhaps I shouldn't have suggested you try to stay away from big supermarkets then. I hadn't thought of it as keeping people going. I personally hate the things and love my online deliveries, but was like that way before covid!

OP, if you need to go to the supermarket then by all means do, I didn't mean for you to lock yourself away if it would be bad for you to.

If you cannot wear a mask for any reason, real or imaginary, then stay at home.

There is a shop near me that has a “no mask, no entry” rule. Non maskers have to phone in their order, pay and arrange a collection time. The shopping is then put on a bench in the car park for pick up.

@Speedyspunker

From the lack of compassion and empathy shown on this thread, I can only assume that some posters have led a charmed life. I hope that when they're hit with PND, or the gnawing anxiety of perimenopause, or reeling from a trauma that they encounter more kindness than they've shown here.

Well said!

[quote shas19]@Macaroni46 if your anxious about people not wearing them, stay home. How about that? Ignorance is bliss isnt it.[/quote]

THIS is what I should have said!

OP, when face masks came in on 24 July, social distancing flew out the window overnight.

Now people don't seem to hand gel much and certainly don't social distance. THAT, to me, is much worse than not wearing a piece of thin cotton over your face.

Change your thinking. I have anxiety and panic attacks too and have to wear a mask for 8 hours a day at work.
Could be an exception, but don't want to be. Work on the admin side of the NHS and couldn't risk my consultants, my patients or myself.

I now have panic attacks/anxiety when I DON'T have the mask on. I know I'll have to deal with that at a later date, but for now I know which side of the fear I'd rather be on!

If you have made every reasonable effort to wear a mask but still can’t, then YANBU to not wear a mask.

I tried and tried earlier in the year, but I just can’t. Can’t wear face shields either. I don’t go anywhere except work any more (where so far masks haven’t been asked for), I haven’t been anywhere except work since March now anyway. But I’m fortunate that I have a partner to go out for me. If I didn’t, or if he couldn’t, I honestly don’t know what I would do. The judgmental and downright nasty attitudes of other people are horrific.

In response to the “you’d wear an oxygen mask” people - no, I really wouldn’t. Not unless I was sedated. I have cluster headaches (not the reason I can’t wear a mask!) and normally use a demand valve (mouthpiece) for oxygen - oxygen aborts an attack in less than 10 minutes. However, a while back my demand valve broke, so I tried to use an oxygen mask instead. Nope. Couldn’t do it. I was in excruciating pain, and endured 3 hours of excruciating pain until my attack naturally subsided because I simply could not wear a mask. Believe me, if I could wear one, I would have. I wanted to die from the pain.

By the way, I pay over £40,000 in tax per year towards the NHS.

Are you sure?

Bathroom that PP clearly isn't a doctor. They don't even seem to understand the difference between being anxious and medical anxiety. Why people tell such silly lies online is beyond me.

Next time you feel it begin to happen, could you leave the shop and then take the mask off outside? That's what I did with my 7yo DD - she has ADHD and tends to get quite upset about stuff at times, and she found it hard to breathe normally in the mask, but would calm down after taking a minute outside to breathe. She's fine with it now.

Mind over matter. You may be able to overcome the feeling of panic if you practice wearing a mask at home starting with really short periods of say 30 seconds and building up. Also be aware of slowing your breathing to calm yourself.

I have claustrophobia induced anxiety and a lung condition and still try my hardest to wear the masks because like above said better to suffer temporarily than suffer long term on a ventilator or even worse lose your life. Online shopping is pretty much never available in my area so I just pick a quiet store at a quiet time and make sure I have a list ready.

I suppose the question is "can people with anxiety" spread the virus?

Yes they can

That's your answer really isn't it?

You either wear it

Get home delivery

Get someone else to shop for you?

Which one of the these will you do?

HOWEVER (you knew it was coming): although triggers can be totally out of one’s control sometimes, I’m guessing one can learn to manage panic attacks. Anticipate them or the chances of them, know how to handle them, know how to call for help, know what you need to do, avoid things that bring them on etc. I can’t believe anybody wants to have them, so people who suffer with them will go out of their way to ensure they minimise them while accepting that perhaps they might still happen.

Well, yes, you mention avoiding things that bring them on. In the OP’s situation that would be a mask, luckily the law allows her to avoid that.

I'm a CPN, and recently wrote a supporting letter for a patient to exempt her from masks after she had one during the appointment, and I had to encourage her to remove her mask to breathe properly.

I'm not saying everyone needs to get the same from a mental health professionals, jus t I understand the OPs situation. Fortunately the patient concerned did not go out much and her kids got her shopping in, but yeah I understand where you're coming from.

Sorry jj meant she had a panic attack during the appointment.

@OuiOuiKitty

Brilliant. I’ve got a great idea - why don’t we just go back to putting disabled people and hysterical women in asylums so they don’t have to bother your life at all.

It's pretty disrespectful of you to compare people being put in asylums with someone not being able to wander around m&s without a mask. They are not even close to comparable.

It's entirely comparable. She's an inconvenience therefore she stays home. Not so far off she's an inconvenience lock her up. It's the same mentality. Not "normal" then away out of society. It's a slippery slope and the majority of posters on this thread have shown just how selfish and intolerant they really are whilst pretending to care about others. In reality most people only care that people don't give the virus to them and if they Do get it, that there's a hospital bed for them. A perfectly normal reaction, but pretending to give a shit about the rest of the population because they don't have the balls to say it.... Yeah, not ok.

@Bookworming

I suppose the question is "can people with anxiety" spread the virus?

Yes they can

That's your answer really isn't it?

You either wear it

Get home delivery

Get someone else to shop for you?

Which one of the these will you do?

So in your opinion anyone exempt and all under 11s shouldn't be allowed out in society?

What about the stress it causes people when they see people with no masks? Little old lady in supermarket was getting upset because a few people didnt have masks on. Not fair on her. Besides, lots of places are saying no mask, no entry.

I've seen lots of posts of people being supportive and saying if you can't wear one fine... however my DH suffers anxiety seeing people without masks. He had a panic attack and we had to leave a supermarket because there were so many people walking past him without a mask on and not distancing.
He's terrified of not being able to work if he gets Covid and shutting his business
He now won't go in a shop - why does your anxiety trump his?
Can't wear a mask, get online deliveries or someone you know to shop for you.
Can't cope with people being too close, don't go to the supermarket
You won't get my support

I suffer from panic attacks. I've learned some coping techniques (54321 grounding etc) for when I can't remove myself from the situation. However it's impossible to avoid all triggers unless you give up on life, at least in my case.

I question the op's term 'a mild panic attack'. There is a huge difference between feeling a bit panicky (normal) and a panic attack, same as there is a difference between feeling anxious (normal) and suffering from crippling anxiety. If I had a panic attack in a shop I wouldn't just pull down my mask and carry on shopping, I'd leave until I calmed down, then put my mask back on and return.

We need to differentiate between people who genuinely cannot wear masks and those for whom it is unpleasant but not impossible (many of us).

@AlwaysCheddar

What about the stress it causes people when they see people with no masks? Little old lady in supermarket was getting upset because a few people didnt have masks on. Not fair on her. Besides, lots of places are saying no mask, no entry.

Why does she trump the person with the actual diagnosed condition?

Yes, they are and that is discriminatory. It a not right.

@TrustTheGeneGenie theOP isn't exempt! The question was if I have anxiety am I exempt? Her doctor hadn't agreed with her exemption. Is it up to the individual to decide then? Because as we've seen down thread some PPs don't agree that masks make a difference, can they decide they're exempt?

Our society must have a lot of anxiety sufferers, given the amount of people I see not wearing masks.

And yes exempt people should really limit how they go out etc, maybe walk at quiet times? Would you want to spread the virus because you were exempt? I'm sure you wouldn't.

Also, anxiety over face masks would be made worse by using a ventilator, surely that's to be avoided?

So which of the three options is best for OP?

Children under 11 have be proved that they don't spread the virus easily.

Yanbu. Your only mistake was feeling the need to explain. Next time just give a snooty glare to busy bodies and carry on with your business.