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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect family members to excuse themselves?

16 replies

museumum · 12/01/2021 14:33

That sounds way more formal than I mean, but if you're in the middle of a conversation with a family member and need the loo would you say 'hang on I'll be back in a moment' or 'I'm just going to the loo' or do you just walk off?

Am I BU to expect somebody to at least say something?

OP posts:
pepsicolagirl · 12/01/2021 14:36

sort depends on the context of the situation really. Would I walk away mid convo with my Mum? No as I would get a slap upside the head lol (I am 42) but my husband I would and we would probably continue the conv thru a locked bathroom door because I cannot get 2 arsing minutes of peace anymore.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 12/01/2021 14:51

I'd say I'd be back in a min. It's a bit rude to walk off from anyone mid conversation.

Courtney555 · 12/01/2021 14:55

If in front of my mother, mid conversation, I would say "hang on one sec" and nod my head towards the general direction of the loo.

DH, I would just tell him "hang on, need a wee" Grin

I wouldn't walk away from anyone mid conversation without making an acknowledgement, unless I was obviously letting them know I was no longer interested in a conversation, so essentially, walking out. Or an emergency. Otherwise it's terrible manners.

yelyah22 · 12/01/2021 14:55

Depends really. Mid sentence, weird and rude. During a natural lull in the conversation sat in (comfortable) silence - not weird, imo.

Godimabitch · 12/01/2021 14:59

Unless it's quite clear I'm in the middle of something that they're interrupting I would say something. Like if I've got up and am leaving the room and someone decides to ask me something I'll keep talking while walking to the loo and close the door. Or if we're talking and I have to deal with something like the dog crying to go out or the oven beeping, I'll assume you're intelligent enough to know I'm going to deal with that and dont need telling.

thosetalesofunexpected · 12/01/2021 15:09

Hi Op
It depends on the situation/,the context
Obviously it would rude to leave start or mid conversation to go to the toilet
I would definately not do that..

If I was in friends house I would say is it ok to go to the loo or I would just go there?

Or if was with family I would just say or nod to the directions of toilet

Its a very quiky thread Op
Must say😕

LucilleTheVampireBat · 12/01/2021 15:10

You expect your husband/mother/child to actually say "Do excuse me a moment, call of nature dear"?

NoOneOwnsTheRainbow · 12/01/2021 15:19

I think it's rude for people to just walk off mid-convo without at least telling you "hold that thought, I'm just going to the loo."

Robbybobtail · 12/01/2021 15:22

I'd find it rude and a bit weird. Not as rude as people who start to look at their phone mid-conversation though. That does my head in and ive called out several people for doing it. Seems to be accepted behaviour by most now though - people have the attention span of a gnat.

Seraphinesupport · 12/01/2021 15:59

I wouldn't just walk away no ... I would say be right back or hang on or going to the toilet

hohohopeless · 12/01/2021 16:19

I tell everyone in the house where I am going to be at all times. Trained to do so when working on food counters in the supermarket. Grin

I would never just wander off mid conversation - who does that ?

fairycakes1234 · 12/01/2021 16:45

I woujldnt be tellling my family, hey im off to the loo, but oviously if one of them is in middle of conversation and i really had to go (which has neve happened to me ever actually) but then i would say it, id be baffled if i was talking to someone and in mid conversatoin they walked off , (unless we are in arguement which has happened over the course of my life :)

Original poster
museumum · 12/01/2021 17:58

Thanks everyone, this is quite interesting.... my dh is the wanderer-offer, i'll take my eyes of him for a moment in the middle of a normal two-way conversation and he'll vanish. When he comes back i'll say 'i was talking to you and you just disappeared' and he'll say in a really offended tone 'but i needed the toilet' as if i'm being totally unreasonable.
It's not a big issue, he does have some urgency with his bladder, i just wondered if i was the odd one saying regularly to ds 'i just need to go to the loo' to stop him talking at me. (with dh it's not usually an issue as he dosn't talk at me for so long quite the same way as young ds).

OP posts:
peak2021 · 12/01/2021 18:08

If they really cannot wait, I'd expect them to say something.

notdaddycool · 12/01/2021 18:09

in a group of two i'd usually say I'm busting for the bog, give me a sec (more polite if it's not my wife!!) but in a larger group, maybe round a table I'd slip off.

spoonrace · 12/01/2021 18:49

I did something like this the other day - got up while someone was mid-sentence to go and get my phone from my bag (needed to check it). They were really perturbed and jumped up after me to ask what I needed, even though I was in their eyesight the whole time and still listening to them.

I think they thought I was going to just walk out of their house! Made me think I've become a bit rude and unsocialised with living by myself in lockdown. I'd say something in future.

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