To feel like it’s the last straw

[Peasbewithyou]

I know I am totally being unreasonable and life is not that bad compared to many but honestly this morning I just feel so tired of it all.

I’m home schooling an 8 year old and a 5 year old with a 2 year old to entertain. The 8 year old is extremely reluctant and hard to engage. She will literally rip her worksheets up, hit herself, bite her hands and arms etc. The 5 year old says she is bored and doesn’t want to do it. The 2 year old just wants to watch tv all day long. I am also trying to work part time - luckily at home and flexible hours but still. The house is in chaos. I feel like every surface is covered in toys and papers and clutter and laundry. I struggle with this at the best of times but at the moment it all feels too much. Then on top of it all the sodding cat started attacking me relentlessly this morning. Kept going for my legs again and again and again and again. I had to scruff him and put him in the utility room twice (where his food and litter tray are) and when he came out he kept doing it again. It’s clearly a stress behaviour so maybe another cat spooked him but I felt like shouting “I’m stressed too! Stop attacking me!” He made my leg bleed. And I just burst into tears. Am standing here in the kitchen surrounded by all the breakfast crap and the fucking home school sheets and the bloody neverending laundry and I am just so so so tired.

Thank you for listening.

I’ve been where you are. I read something somewhere that maybe the child is trying really hard but their best isn’t good enough. I started to accept my kids for who they were, took any anger out of the equation and gave them support. To begin with, when I made a funny comment as they misbehaved I was acting. As the days went by their behaviour improved as they knew they would get support and encouragement either way. They started focusing on enjoying themselves instead of being angry. They wanted to know what I was so cheerful about and they mimicked the cheerful. Now, apart from occasional blow ups I have cheerful, well behaved hard working kids. They are very young- give them a break. If they tear up the worksheets don’t react! Go find some sellotape, sing a little song as you stick it back together and then busily fill it in yourself and tell them they are the teacher and they can mark it for you. Have fun with it. They are in a negative spiral so break t it fun, laughter. At this stage if they don’t get it done it’s not the end of the world.

Thank you that’s also good advice!

I will write down all your tips and see where I can implement.

I think today everything just feels overwhelming and I feel like I’ve got a lead weight in my stomach but I am hopeful I will feel better and have more energy tomorrow. Just trying to at least get it a bit tidy so tomorrow I will be ahead of the game!

Do you have a partner OP? Sorry if I missed it somewhere. If there is a DP around, can you save the chores and cleaning until the weekend?
I have insisted that during lockdown all I do during the week is some washing and tidying up toys (I have three DC, one is home learning and I have two under 3). Any cleaning or major tidying is to be done at the weekend and I have told the family that we all chip in. Makes me feel much calmer and less pressured knowing I can focus on the children and the mess will be sorted in a couple of days.
I don't agree with going outside to bugger about in puddles. Only do that when the house is clean and you're relaxed otherwise as a PP said all you're doing is making more mess.
Let them have one film day while you catch up on the bits you want to do, then start with the learning and rewards and walks. It won't do them any harm and then you'll feel better, and you can keep on top of it until the weekend. Good luck, I feel for you it's bloody hard at the minute and it's not just about what's best for the children we're important too.

(when I said "I've told the family" I really mean DP and DD. Obviously I've not stood announcing to a 2 year old and a small baby that they need to chip in on chores!)

I do have a DP who works long hours full time. He has booked a couple of half days but the children are usually glued to my side whether he is there or not and he isn’t great at the old tidying etc either tbh. He will be off for a half day tomorrow so I’m hoping I can do some work!

I informed the children no tv until house is at least marginally more tidy. They didn’t exactly swing into action... maybe it’s a long term strategy, although I will need the tv to save everyone’s sanity during the home schooling tomorrow!

@81Byerley what a marvellous inspirational post, some parents are struggling so much that must be a tremendous help.

@Peasbewithyou be kind to yourself, one day at a time.

Oh I feel you OP! I have an 8yo who does as he's told and will do the work-is bright, but lacks the confidence to do it all solo and a 6yo with asd/additional needs who is finding this whole situation incredibly difficult. It's hell tbh. Hating every minute of it. It's effecting my mental health. Its effecting us all negatively tbh, even the cat who wants dome damn peace from the 6yo!