At a similar time my dd was cutting and taking regular small overdoses. CAMHS offered group therapy which I said was inadequate. They said the family have declined the intervention therefore we are closing the case. GP told me to find her a therapist off the Internet. She was 15/16, 22 now. When we went for the 9.30 CAMHS appointment we arrived at 9.15 and the lights were off and the door locked. We watched staff trickle in late and were eventually greeted at 9.35. A supposedly under-respurces 9-5 service. They might find the resources stretched further if they actually worked 9-5!
I had to find and appoint a consultant adolescent psychiatrist privately. About a year later dd who was much improved took a tiny od and took herself to the local A&E dept 48 hours later to make sure she hadn't harmed herself. She arrived at 2pm, the staff called me at 5.48. I was met by a paediatrician who told me I had given my permission for ss to be informed, and as a protocol they would admit with a 1:1 MH nurse overnight so camhs could assess the next morning and it was all protocol. A young person of 16 safety netted by psychiatrist because camhs had refused appropriate help. A psychiatrist who could have been contacted had they called me earlier. DD wanted to come home having been "persuaded" to stay without being told she could not change her mind when she had capacity. Inappropriate application of MH Act and deprivation of liberty. Fortunately I was able to establish that Adult MH liaison on site from 8am to 2am could assess. The paed said he could call the mh liaison people or the person in charge of the hospital. He should have done both. DD was allowed home but I still had to deal with a ward sister who also lied and who when I said we would leave in 10 minutes (at 10pm) after the mh liaison person had said an hour before we could leave once she had spoken to the Dr, and we were still being messed about, decided to scream down the a&e dept that I was obstructing my dd's care. Well no the only people who had ever done that were CAMHs.
Assessed by CAMHS the next Tuesday recommended counselling and confirmed it would start in a couple of weeks. Saw Psych the following day who also recommended counselling and I was happy to say, no worries, already in place via CAMHS. And then in two/three weeks there was an 8 week wait. Had they said that in the first place, we'd have gone for the private counselling. By the time they messed us about the private counsellor was booked for the summer holidays.
I find in totally unacceptable there is no money for early intervention yet there is c£970 for a wholly unnecessary acute admission for a safety netted child. And then they all whine about lack of resources They need to get themselves organised and join the dots.
My dd is 22 now and very well recovered thanks to £6k of private care. Oh yes after that little episode and crisis her private psychiatrist confirmed ADHD . I phoned CAmHs because my GP said I should. The supposedly very experienced camhs nurse actually laughed and said "well now I think she's a bit old for that" And to think the multidisciplinary teams are dependent on people like that cascading information upwards.
To be honest op it sounds as though your dd got a very good service at a similar age and time as my dd for whom there were no NHS services and what I saw was wholly incompetent and inadequate. Therefore I think you are being unreasonable but I do hope your dd is OK and wonder why this is still exercising her.