To want to be asked how i am?

[Concerneduser]

I've noticed this for a while but recently have been giving it more thought, my DP never asks how i am, or about my feelings at any time etc.
I know it doesnt have to involve the words how are you but i can;t think of anything he says that opens up any conversation towards it.
Every day my DP gets home from work i ask him how his day was and sometimes i get short answers like fine or ok but if he's had a stressful day he might discuss it with me and say he's stressed from the work pressure etc, yet he never asks about my day.
If i notice something might be up i ask if he's ok, if its the other way around he might ask why i am being grumpy but its not a conversation starter its a statement and he doesn't want to discuss anything.
Since working from home from the first lockdown, juggling homeschooling my eldest, looking after our 1 yr old DC i've had many down days and am massively stressed alot of the time but he doesn't make me feel like i can discuss it. If i do mention how im feeling off my own back he doesnt really engage in the conversation so i end up not bothering to talk about it.

We talk about other things so it's not an issue with general communication.
Many i'm just being needy, is too much to just want to be asked how i am sometimes?

tell him! don’t be a martyr

Yeh you need to tell him.

I'm sorry OP, but the title of this immediately made me think of Meghan Markle moaning that no-one ever asks if she's ok. I think the response she got to that is probably applicable here too. Don't wait or expect to be asked. If you have something you want to talk to him about, say so. He's clearly not going to start asking you how you are, so the conversation starter is going to have to come from you. If he doesn't care or doesn't engage when you do tell him how you feel, then you have a whole other issue.

That is the problem though if I do try to start a conversation about it then it is recieved as a statement to him and he carries on talking about something else. I don't want to sit and whine I just want to feel like he cares enough to ask from time to time how I am.
He also doesn't greet me in any way when he comes home, if I come in and he's home I will say hello or whatever, he says nothing in the way of a greeting just launches into conversation about whatever.
My other relationships were never like this, I guess I just find it odd.

Actually OP, I get where you are coming from. I always ask people how they are, how was their day etc but I can’t remember the last time somebody asked me the same. I know other posters have said just tell him, but I feel like it would just be nice sometimes for somebody to show that they care without me having to prompt them. Does that make sense? For instance I will regularly text some of my friends to ask how they’re doing, how are they coping with things etc so they will answer me in a reply & then ask me how I am, but it’s always in response to my text, they never text me first.

Just sometimes it would be nice to be asked because they genuinely want to know that I’m ok.

@Concerneduser

That is the problem though if I do try to start a conversation about it then it is recieved as a statement to him and he carries on talking about something else. I don't want to sit and whine I just want to feel like he cares enough to ask from time to time how I am. He also doesn't greet me in any way when he comes home, if I come in and he's home I will say hello or whatever, he says nothing in the way of a greeting just launches into conversation about whatever. My other relationships were never like this, I guess I just find it odd.

Why don’t you say when he changes the conversation “ so clearly my problems aren’t important to you? You always do this. You never ask me how I am and if I share something you change the conversation. Why?”

I get this. I dont want someone to ask me how i am after i have prompted them...i want them to ask because i want them to be genuinely interested in me or my day. ...and if like me u r one of those people who does ask... then when the sentiment isnt returned it makes u feel like they care about u less than u do about them. This is probably all heightened due to the stress everyone is under due to covid. Try and explain that u r feeling overwhelmed at the moment and need more support. Its really hard for everyone at the moment. Be kind to yourself at the moment and try n take some time out just for you. Hope u r ok x