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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a childminder shouldn't have kids watching films on the telly?

396 replies

5footMama · 11/01/2021 14:32

A childminder in my village says she "sometimes" has a movie afternoon with her charges (age 10m-3yrs) and it's made me doubt whether to send DD (14m)

Is it just me, or should a childminder not be using the TV like that???
I mean, I'm not anti telly and if they were watching a bit of a program about penguins or something because they're learning about penguins,then cool. Bit to just put them in front of the telly for 2hrs when it supposed to be looking after them seems a bit crap. They wouldn't do this in a nursery or anything.

OP posts:
WaxOnFeckOff · 11/01/2021 15:24

My Dc are adults now but my eldest went to a childminder from 5 months old, I think he slept most of the day (outside in winter wrapped up in his pram) or went to the cafe with her to meet friends, or went to the toddler group, I was happy that he was clean and content and smelled of her perfume so you could tell he'd been having a snuggle. That's what you are paying for in a childminder, someone who cares for them, keeps them safe and replicates a home environment.

womaninatightspot · 11/01/2021 15:28

I do think it's a long day and everything is closed. I'm not sure if my kids would of managed 10 hours of educational learning at that age. Even in nursery (school nursery) they would put tv stuff up on the smartboard. Not films generally but songs and stuff.

It's a balance.

Belladonna12 · 11/01/2021 15:28

I wouldn't be that keen because I would suspect that they may end up being sat in front of the television a lot of the time whether they liked it or not . My DC used to go to an after-school club that had "movie night". This involved turning the lights off and making the children watch films, whether or not they wanted to and mine didn't.

Buttercream22 · 11/01/2021 15:28

DD is in reception and they have 'film Friday'. They normally watch a Julia Donaldson type film lasting about 1/2 hour. I think it's a lovely idea on a Friday afternoon if the kids have worked hard all week.

IncludeWomenInTheSequel · 11/01/2021 15:29

Oh my kids loved a movie as a treat from their childminder! She would give them popcorn and sometimes let them bring jammies to wear.

It's fine in balance with other things. And I seriously doubt the smaller kids will watch it all anyway, they'll be wandering around amusing themselves - which is good for them!

Ace1185 · 11/01/2021 15:30

MacDuffsMuff

#herosdontwearcapes Hmm

ComDummings · 11/01/2021 15:32

Theres fuck all else to do at the moment. An hour round the park, a few hours crafting and a film is fine

IncludeWomenInTheSequel · 11/01/2021 15:33

@WaxOnFeckOff makes an excellent point. I chose a CM because of the home environment; I had no interest in my toddler getting up to speed on the curriculum.
If you're the other way, maybe a nursery is more for you.

Our old CM will be family for life, and her kids think of mine as little cousins. That's worth it's weight in gold in this life; a bit of extra screen time compared to that? That's nothing.

ArosAdraDrosDolig · 11/01/2021 15:33

YABU. Nurseries and schools do have film afternoons too!! The point in a childminder is that it’s a home environment and this is something you’d do at home. Not instead of going for walks, painting, playing, but as well?

Tvci5 · 11/01/2021 15:34

OP you said it yourself she only does it sometimes

Oblomov20 · 11/01/2021 15:35

Of course it's fine! For occasional use. Hmm

Mumtoalittlegirl · 11/01/2021 15:36

DD watches a lot of tv at the moment on days we’re with her. So I’m not judging the tv as such. Mumsnet is very anti tv but honestly I don’t know many parents in real life who actually have it off all day...

I wouldn’t pay for it though. I send DD to nursery because they have loads of structure/ activities. So it’s okay to have her chill time when we are home. I would never use a childminder though, I just don’t think they can be regulated a way nursery is. I get it works for some children though.

frustrationcentral · 11/01/2021 15:37

I think as long as it's only sometimes (once a month??) then that's ok, as long as the film is appropriate then that's ok. As a nursery we put a film on occasionally but they're usually appropriate to the time (the snowman at Christmas!) , staff sitting with the children, discussing what we'd seen etc. Not just a time to dump the children in front of a screen for a bit of peace!

nokidshere · 11/01/2021 15:38

Is it just me, or should a childminder not be using the TV like that???
I mean, I'm not anti telly and if they were watching a bit of a program about penguins or something because they're learning about penguins,then cool. Bit to just put them in front of the telly for 2hrs when it supposed to be looking after them seems a bit crap. They wouldn't do this in a nursery or anything.

Wow, I'm impressed that you think your 14month old would sit in front of a film for 2 hours.

Which bit of watching a film together do you think means they aren't being looked after? There are plenty of opportunities for learning whilst watching even the most boring of films/tv. And, Ime, there are very few under 5s who will sit through a whole 2hr film (although children's films tend to be shorter).

I've watched films with children in schools, nurseries, preschools and hospitals. Everywhere does it on occasion. Even if it's just long enough to clear lunch away or have an hours quiet time in the afternoon.

Given that the average under 3 has an attention span of less than 15mins that's a whole load of activities they have already done before lunch. And also given that most people arrive at the childminders by 7;30am (or earlier) the children are very tired in the afternoons. Do you really want your little one to be actively bombarded with planned activities all day every day?

And even if there are some children who want to sit and watch tv for a bit, it doesn't mean that yours will be made to do the same. Mos childminders are perfectly able to meet the needs of more than one child at a time.

Notimeforaname · 11/01/2021 15:39

I worked in a pre school years ago and the class of 3 -4 year olds watched cartoons on a projection screen every Friday for the last 30 minutes or so or until they were picked up.

One mum was very against her child seeing any sort of screen (which is her right as a parent to live as she wishes) but it was horrible to see because the mum couldn't show up before cartoons started and she insisted we keep her child in a separate room with an adult. We could not accommodate this. So often the child would just stand inside or outside the open door..but could see the screen and the other children watching. Childs mother would go mad at us but what could we do. We hadn't enough staff. Every Friday she'd show up late and have to drag her child kicking and screaming away from the cartoons Sad I think she said she didn't want her children seeing a screen until they were about 5 or 6.

I knew another person who didn't want their baby seeing a screen til they were 3.

One time I was holding the baby (about 1year old) I had her on my lap but took my phone out to look at somthing. Childs mother dove across me and put her hands in front of baby's face...and reiterated the no screen before 3 rule. It was all a bit much Confused

katy1213 · 11/01/2021 15:41

So every hour of a child's day should be gainfully employed in educational activities?
That's a bit ripe - when AIBU must be the biggest time-waster known to womankind!

ClaireP20 · 11/01/2021 15:43

I have a friday afternoon film with the 3 kids, it's lovely. We all bring duvets and eat sweets. I would love it if my childminder did this. Remember..a childminder isn't a teacher. She is there to mind your child. Your 14 month old would never watch a film anyway! They'll be running around with her chasing after!

You'll have a shock when they go to school and you realise the teachers put chromebook in front of them for ages and put bbc bitesize on for them to watch as a group...x

ClaireP20 · 11/01/2021 15:43

@katy1213

So every hour of a child's day should be gainfully employed in educational activities? That's a bit ripe - when AIBU must be the biggest time-waster known to womankind!
So true..
KitchKlassic · 11/01/2021 15:43

AccidentallyOnPurpose

I appreciate it sounds like a contradiction but what I meant was it's on all day so it's a constant distraction. Even if they're playing/pottering they'll be sucked in by it over and over and will abandon what they're doing as nothing competes with tv for some DC. It's shite for their concentration. Some kids are there for 10 hours per day, five days per week.

I'd be ok with one movie put on or a designated hour or so for a bit of tv like I do at home, as the CM deserves some down time, but I think It's lazy when you're being paid to look after people's DC to have the tv on all day in the hope of distracting them as much as possible.

nwatty · 11/01/2021 15:43

My childminder quite often tells me she feels guilty if all my son wants to do after school is sit on her couch watching TV.

He has been learning all day at school, been out the house since 8am, children need downtime as well. If he were in the house with me then he would be chilling on the couch for a couple of hours. At least at the childminders there is the option of doing other things if they want and someone has the time and attention to play with them.

As it stands i'm not a key worker but am working from home. My son sat with me doing school work until 3pm and is currently lying on the couch on his switch until I finish work. It's not ideal but thats the way it is. Childminders are not teachers. If you can honestly say you never have a movie afternoon fair enough but I pay my childminder to keep my child safe in an informal, homely environment. im glad he is comfortable just chilling out in her house.

He is 6 by the way.

Bambam2019 · 11/01/2021 15:44

At our nursery, once a month for the pre school room on a Friday afternoon we put a movie on. We also have a couple of other activities set up as well and children are able to come and go between activities and the movie as they please. Most do want to watch it though, especially the ones that do 5 long days, they’re shattered by a Friday afternoon..!
Maybe your CM means that watching a movie is an option but it’s not the only thing they can do? I doubt a 14 m/o would sit for a full length film anyway...

ClaireP20 · 11/01/2021 15:45

OP kids do need to relax. They mustn't always be 'doing something'. Like adults, it is important that they switch off. Your one is too young anyway, so won't watch anything!

Mumtoalittlegirl · 11/01/2021 15:45

@Notimeforaname that’s crazy! I feel sorry for any nursery staff having to deal with parents like that, must be exhausting!

Whenwillow · 11/01/2021 15:46

When mine were small, the TV was not on much, unlike in the homes of a lot of people I knew. We'd decide what we/they would like to watch, and watch it together, more often than not. Little one on my lap, the others snuggled alongside. It was a lovely way to pass an hour or two. I can't see it being that much different at a childminders. I doubt she's shoving them in front of the telly so she can go on social media or catch up on her ironing!

ImAllOut · 11/01/2021 15:47

@frustrationcentral

I think as long as it's only sometimes (once a month??) then that's ok, as long as the film is appropriate then that's ok. As a nursery we put a film on occasionally but they're usually appropriate to the time (the snowman at Christmas!) , staff sitting with the children, discussing what we'd seen etc. Not just a time to dump the children in front of a screen for a bit of peace!
Childminders are one person looking after children of varying ages for up to 11 or 12 hours a day. I don't begrudge them a film a day to be honest! In nursery settings you have the back up of one or two other people, and the children are split into several age appropriate rooms.