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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a childminder shouldn't have kids watching films on the telly?

396 replies

5footMama · 11/01/2021 14:32

A childminder in my village says she "sometimes" has a movie afternoon with her charges (age 10m-3yrs) and it's made me doubt whether to send DD (14m)

Is it just me, or should a childminder not be using the TV like that???
I mean, I'm not anti telly and if they were watching a bit of a program about penguins or something because they're learning about penguins,then cool. Bit to just put them in front of the telly for 2hrs when it supposed to be looking after them seems a bit crap. They wouldn't do this in a nursery or anything.

OP posts:
MarkRuffaloCrumble · 11/01/2021 23:26

Whatever happens in a nursery is irrelevant - in nursery there are several adults so they can take a break. Have a wee. Cup of tea for 5 mins in peace. A CM is on her feet all day with literally no break. When she has 4/5+ children to entertain, all of different ages, with different requirements etc and with fewer activities open to her, I’d say she’s earned whatever downtime she can muster. If they’ll all sit and watch TV or a film just for 30 mins, it means she can use the loo, make a cuppa and maybe sit down for 10 mins.

Chances are after that amount of time the younger ones would be restless anyway, so she’ll no doubt have other activities on the go at the same time.

Older kids need downtime too - after school mine were all knackered and just wanted to sit and chill when they got home. After a day of non stop activities and “education” it does them no harm at all to watch a movie. If you honestly think your CM isn’t doing a good enough job then move your DC elsewhere. If you’re otherwise happy then accept that she’s doing her best with the resources available to her to keep everyone sane.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 11/01/2021 23:27

@Coyoacan

Personally I prefer to keep the option of lazy parenting for myself and would prefer a childminder or a nursery that did not use videos.
Unless you have 5+ children to look after all day, I’d suggest if anyone gets to pull the lazy parenting card, it’s the CM!
Torvean32 · 11/01/2021 23:31

Nurseries do let children watch a variety of TV programmes, and occassionally a film as a treat.

Joiningthegossip · 12/01/2021 00:02

My children went to a childminder, she let them watch a film occasionally but she also took them on outings, walks, exploring, arts & crafts, learning, Has watching a film had a negative impact? No.

Think your being slightly unreasonable

MollyBloomYes · 12/01/2021 00:20

Wouldn't and doesn't bother me. My childminder has the tv on sometimes. She also has a seemingly endless knowledge of all the cool places to go for walks and exploring, fantastically creative ideas for craft and art projects and clearly adores my children, even to the point of checking in near daily on us over the phone when she found out I had covid. Childminders are supposed to be a home away from home environment and that's why I chose to use one for holiday care over a playscheme, because I knew my oldest son in particular wouldn't cope with the constant stimulation those bring after a term at school. If I use the tv to entertain at home sometimes then I don't have an issue with a childminder doing the same.
Presumably it's not on all the time and I would also assume that if any of the younger ones weren't paying attention or getting bored then she would be setting up different activities for them and engaging in a different way. But for the older kids sometimes a movie afternoon is just what's needed and I trust a good childcarer's judgement to make that call.

BoomBoomsCousin · 12/01/2021 00:29

I wouldn't expect TV to be used at all for under 2s and if I had the choice I wouldn't send my under twos to a setting that did that for all the children. As they get older I would be okay with some TV but not more than 30 minutes at a time before they were school aged unless it was very rare.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 12/01/2021 03:50

@BoomBoomsCousin

I wouldn't expect TV to be used at all for under 2s and if I had the choice I wouldn't send my under twos to a setting that did that for all the children. As they get older I would be okay with some TV but not more than 30 minutes at a time before they were school aged unless it was very rare.
Really? The kids channels certainly cater to them. There are plenty of baby TV programmes so it can't be that unpopular.
mumnowformerrockstar · 12/01/2021 07:08

The kind of parenting is probably one reason of many why childminding isn't as popular as it used to be . Too much drama .

mumnowformerrockstar · 12/01/2021 07:09

@5footMama

Ok. I am being unreasonable. Just didn't realise it was thing that was common. I'll get my coat.
Yeah okay op
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 12/01/2021 07:16

OP have you seriously never had the tv on infromt of your child? She's 14 months. How have you avoided that?

Lookslikerainted · 12/01/2021 07:20

Haha op come back and update this post when your child is a toddler and see if you don’t put a film on occasionally yourself.

DryIce · 12/01/2021 07:30

I wouldn't like it either OP. I don't like TV before 2 as a general rule, although lockdown has impacted that a bit and my almost 2 year old has probably seen a bit. I wouldn't put on a whole movie for him though, and I wouldn't expect a childcare setting to either

BatleyTownswomensGuild · 12/01/2021 07:32

I'd say it depends on the age of the kids. For young kids there is meant to be an early years curriculum.

My childminder does school runs to and from the local primary and sometimes has a film on in the background for school age kids after school. The kids are often tired after school, especially if they don't get home until 5:30pm. Personally I don't mind. Sometimes when I collect DS, he's settled in the sofa watching. Sometimes he's ignoring it and absorbed in play. He tends to regulate himself.

BilboBercow · 12/01/2021 07:37

A nursery will do this too op. You're being precious

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 12/01/2021 07:45

People keep mentioning the early years curriculum as some kind of AHA, gotcha! moment.

It's perfectly possible to follow it and have a movie or the telly on, especially for the children that are there for a long time.

Even schools manage to do the curriculum and sneak in a movie here and there and we only have them for 6 hours.

glitterelf · 12/01/2021 08:24

Throughout the last year I think it's important to remember that most childminders will have also had older children in their care due to school closures, that's a wide range of ages to keep happy with restrictions.
Normally I'm quite strict on older children not bringing devices in from home but this last year I've had to relax that especially with older children needing to do remote learning.
I have to follow the EYFS but it is up to me how I deliver this and it can be done in so many different ways. Childminding isn't like being in a nursery or a school setting because we work with a broad spectrum of ages and we have more flexibility to follow child led learning.
I do limit screen time ( TV ) but often have music playing but we do have occasional movies on / kids TV if it ties in with our learning or for special occasions and in the holidays we are more relaxed.
With current restrictions and bad weather we're really limited on what we can do and I have older children who need support with school work and younger ones who need help with activities too so if the weathers rubbish and everyone's worked hard in the morning learning then surely the children have a right to choose how they unwind ? Be that free play, reading, drawing, playing games, baking or watching a bit of TV or a movie. It's important that children also get to choose how to spend their time.

Frazzled2207 · 12/01/2021 08:30

If it really is occasionally I think it’s ok. CM I know take their kids out, hire people in to do music/Spanish etc with the kids - most of that is a no no at the moment so more time to fill. A 14 m old won’t be watching for long anyway.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 12/01/2021 13:48

No wonder so many people are struggling with their toddlers so much in lockdown if they refuse to stick the telly on for a while 😂

TheKeatingFive · 12/01/2021 13:52

What do you think will happen to a child that occasionally watches a film? Genuine question.

I don’t recommend school for your children btw. DS1 watched 5 films in the week before they broke up for Christmas.

Belladonna12 · 12/01/2021 14:25

@TheKeatingFive

What do you think will happen to a child that occasionally watches a film? Genuine question.

I don’t recommend school for your children btw. DS1 watched 5 films in the week before they broke up for Christmas.

I think the point is that it may not be occasional. Allowing them to watch television for 30 minutes at the end of the day would be okay with most parents. Telling them they have to sit quietly and watch a film for a couple of hours (often with the lights off IME if it is called "movie afternoon") whether or not they want to is not is not something I would do as a parent so wouldn't expect a childminder who is paid to look after children to do it.
OhCaptain · 12/01/2021 14:51

@Belladonna12 but there's absolutely no reason to assume that's the case here. OP plucked two hours out of the air!

randomer · 12/01/2021 15:35

Child mind.Mind the child,care for,keep safe.Not educate the baby.

Belladonna12 · 12/01/2021 15:37

[quote OhCaptain]@Belladonna12 but there's absolutely no reason to assume that's the case here. OP plucked two hours out of the air![/quote]
Considering it is called a "movie afternoon" I don't think two hours is a wild assumption at all. Films usually last at least an hour and a half and why call it an afternoon if they will only be watching for a short time? 14-month-olds don't want to spend an afternoon watching movies and I don't think many parents would think that was a nice treat for them if they were at home. It may be something that only happens very occasionally but my experience is that "movie afternoons" could be fairly regular and happen regardless of whether children want to watch.

TheKeatingFive · 12/01/2021 15:37

there's absolutely no reason to assume that's the case here.

Exactly. If it becomes more than ‘occasional’ deal with it then.

Bonkerz · 12/01/2021 15:50

@ChestnutStuffing

Are you aware that a childminder has to follow exactly the same curriculum as a nursery. We have all the same paperwork and have to complete observations and learning journeys and trackers etc. No difference except our numbers are smaller.

Not where I live they aren't. Childminders are often very good, but people send their kids there because they want a home environment, not a "curriculum".

Are you in the UK? This is not something that is negotiable if the childminder is ofsted registered unfortunately. It is compulsory to follow the EYFS which means observations and planning and tracking just like nurseries as it is the same EYFS.