To ask you honestly if this is a bad idea?

[FS2020]

Stuck in two minds at the moment but I've gotten myself into a situation that I just can't deal with much longer. I've had this hanging over me for months, it's made me really ill (severe depression) and I can't deal with the sleepless nights and worrying.

I've gotten myself into debt (circa £5k) and I'm at breaking point. It's spiralled out of control and I don't know what to do. Debt relief orders, IVAs, bankruptcy are out of the question for me as I work in financial services (ironic, I know) so my options are limited.

I was thinking of asking my uncle to help me. He is a business owner and is quite wealthy, I do believe he could help me and I don't have anywhere else at all to turn to. It's my absolute last resort but I don't know if it's a bad idea to ask him. I wouldn't even dream of asking him if I didn't think there was a chance he could say yes, but I'm just worried I'm not doing the right thing here.

What does everyone think? I've just had enough, I feel broken and exhausted

Glad he is helping you

What do you earn .

Does father of child help out /pay maintenance

How old is your child

If working how much is childcare

Yes!! 100% just ask him! Or ask your mum to ask him for you? If my niece was feeling the way your describing and I had the money, I'd pay off her debt in an instant and set up a small repayment plan. Honestly just ask, I'd ask my family in your position. Xxxx

I'm glad you spoke to him. If he's in the position to help I'm sure he will. Be proactive and have a realistic repayment plan ready and waiting to put to him so that he can see you're clear on how long you will be taking to repay etc. I would also offer interest.

I am glad it looks as if your uncle will help. I agree about making sure you have direct debits in place. The cost of a late payment fee plus interest can easily cancel out your monthly payment. You could also ask your creditors if you can reschedule the payment due date to coincide with your payday. It makes it much easier to see exactly what is left.

Once things are more sorted out, it will really help you feel less stressed and worried.

Ask your uncle. Seems like the easiest option in the circumstances. Youve made it clear you dont have many options so i dont get why pps keep suggesting the same things.

Think hard about if you would rather be in debt to your uncle. Only you know him and could this possibly be a worse situation for you?

He may expect you to jump through all sorts of hoops etc to be worthy of his money...... it might not necessarily be the easy way out......

What a lovely man!

I think the first things I'd want to catch up on would be anything housing related, like rent/mortage, utilities, council tax. You want to keep that roof above your head and the heat on!

But in your situation you need to just accept whatever and however your uncle chooses to help you. And listen to any advice he offers. Unless he inherited his wealth, chances are he didn't get where he is in life by being financially foolish.

I haven’t read through all the posts. But can you transfer your debts to one of those 0% interest free credit cards (with some fees).

Really pleased he's helping out, huge worry off your shoulders.

My tip is that as well as getting rid of credit cards, set up a credit union account, even if you save very small amounts you can get low cost loans. I cut up my credit card 20 years ago and get a credit union loan for any big purchases - for years i got an annual one to pay for a holiday. I'm much more comfortably off now, and have some savings so haven't needed a loan in a while, but i never got another credit card, debit cards do all a credit card can do but you're spending your own money.

Good luck with the conversations you are going to have with creditors and I hope this has brought some emotional relief to you.

For me, it would depend on my relationship with the man.
Are you close, and have you made an effort with him over the years?
If yes, that puts you in a better position to approach him for a loan. If no, then it's a bit much really, particularly as he has already helped your mum out financially.

I have been in a similar position to you, for different reasons though.
The debt on my credit card was making me hugely anxious, especially because of the interest payments, and although I was paying some off each month, the interest caused me to hyperventilate when I read it.

I ended up asking my Dad to help me out - of course with paying him back - and he did. The massive advantage was not having that crippling interest building up on top of the actual debt - Dad didn't charge me interest, bless him, although I offered to pay it at bank interest rates as opposed to credit card interest rate.

I would ask him. Because I've been in your situation and HAVE asked, and because I had never done it before and have never done it since, he was ok with it.

Blast, thought I'd read through all your posts, seems I missed a couple.
Glad you asked him, glad he's going to help - I know all too well that stomach-dropping feeling of anxiety, so I'm just happy for you that you had someone you could ask who was in a position to help you.

I don’t understand why people are so horrified at the idea of asking family for help. I have lent this sort of sum to friends/family.. Once was to a friend who was getting further into debt and struggling to get out because of credit card interest. I much preferred that she borrowed from me than that she keep paying huge interest. She paid back every penny in regular monthly instalments

@Whatnameisgood

I don’t understand why people are so horrified at the idea of asking family for help. I have lent this sort of sum to friends/family.. Once was to a friend who was getting further into debt and struggling to get out because of credit card interest. I much preferred that she borrowed from me than that she keep paying huge interest. She paid back every penny in regular monthly instalments

Because it's unnecessary, it's potentially inconvenient for the person you're asking, it puts them in a spot, and it's got lots of potential for causing a relationship rift for the whole time up until it's paid off. It's borrowing from one person to pay another. There are better options than to keep paying huge interest or borrow from somebody else.

@Whatnameisgood

I don’t understand why people are so horrified at the idea of asking family for help. I have lent this sort of sum to friends/family.. Once was to a friend who was getting further into debt and struggling to get out because of credit card interest. I much preferred that she borrowed from me than that she keep paying huge interest. She paid back every penny in regular monthly instalments

Probably because there's lots of cases of people not paying the money back.

Usually because they suffer further financial difficulties and can't pay the money back, or because they haven't really understood why they got into debt in the first place and are still short of money, or sometimes because they are unwilling to manage their finances sensibly and just want to keep spending.

Borrowing from friends and family can work, especially if the agreement for repayment is affordable and stuck to, and it is very much regarded as a one off solution, ie the OP won't borrow any more money until she has repaid her uncle in full. It does sound like this might be a good solution in this case, and that the OP will make the repayments, but obviously this can't be said for certain without full details of her finances.