"YABU because there's already a thread on this" and other stuff we say on here...

[MakeWorkYourNewFavourite]

AIBU to think posters who complain about stuff having already been discussed or not being in the right topic are just weird? It's such an odd thing to point out. I mean, we don't say, "we've already talked about what to do when you find your husband's secret Tinder account. YABVU! Please see previous threads on this!", do we? Or do we? "Someone's mourning over in Chat! Could you go and talk about your dead hamster over there? This isn't an AIBU!", or "I think you'll find 'partner sending dick pics to my sister' has been done to death! A quick search would tell you this!"

I'm all for pointing out a bellend when I see one, but sometimes people can be so pedantic on here.

I've never seen any of your examples

Yes I agree. Also those who point out a spelling mistake, especially when the poster has poured their heart out.

I agree. The language and grammar pedants are usually just looking for a cheap one-upmanship hit.

One thing on a grammar talkboard but the idea that people think getting a brag in about their superior grammar takes priority over an abusive marriage is slightly disturbing.

...or not being in the right topic are just weird?

Why is it weird?
Lots of people have topics hidden for very good reasons.

Try and have a think about why people may choose to hide topics.

I thin k starting a ranty thread about it is just weird.

And I've not seen any of your examples either. But as this place is wall to wall Coronavirus at the moment they might be a relief from it.

The topic thing is good becasue as a PP said you can hide them but nobody wants to post on the right topic-just in AIBU-for traffic.

@wheretoyougonow

Yes I agree. Also those who point out a spelling mistake, especially when the poster has poured their heart out.

That gets me really mad.

It takes a special kind of cruelty to pretend not to understand brought/bought or borrowed/loaned when someone is talking about miscarriage, abuse or discovering your husband is a cheat, yet people do. It’s hideous.

I understand what you mean someone going through trauma and a poster pops on to say its not color its colour, and where are you from? When op clearly states "not in the uk"

I've not seen any spelling pedants either lately-I must have the right topics hidden after all.

Oh ffs not THIS again

Snacks on a bench anyone?

I often wonder if they do this in real life 🤔 I cannot possibly discuss your experiences with the a456 because I've already wasted my time talking to aunt doris/Frank next door about theirs DO try and make your life more interesting next time

Any update?

I don't think it's particularly weird

I think there's an arrogance in posting something as if you're the first person that's thought about it, or about a particular TV programme without even a cursory look to see if someone else has already posted

And there are topics for a reason. I hide those I don't want to see. Plus it keeps things in order. I think the weird ones are those that can't post in the correct topic🤷‍♀️

The thing is, people don't generally complain about those types of topics but when it's the 11th "Are you sending your kids to school?" or "Should I sent my kids to school?" then it gets frustrating and annoying.

I haven't hidden the coronavirus topic as I like to have a read when I'm feeling strong enough. It's all over AIBU though as that puts me off coming here.

@Bloodypunkrockers

I don't think it's particularly weird

I think there's an arrogance in posting something as if you're the first person that's thought about it, or about a particular TV programme without even a cursory look to see if someone else has already posted

And there are topics for a reason. I hide those I don't want to see. Plus it keeps things in order. I think the weird ones are those that can't post in the correct topic🤷‍♀️

But that assumes that people spend 12 hours a day scanning Mumsnet and keeping a spreadsheet of which topics have come up when and where. New people join all the time: if you're a new poster you can't be expected to know that someone posted the same thread back in 2015. And people forget. And anyway who gives a monkeys if threads get repeated. There's nothing truly new in the world. It's not like you're going to be applying for a patent on it.

Keeping topics on a voluntary discussion thread that's basically just designed to provide support and entertainment "in order" is fairly far down the list of most people's priorities at the moment.

People are not going to remember a single thread from 2015 and say 'this has been done before' it's more that it's a MN regular 'favourite' like cat poo in the garden/reclining aeroplane seats/shoes on/off in the house etc or there's been a spate of recent threads all the same as is definitely the case since CV arrived.

Everyone was a newbie once, you get the hang of it eventually even if you just dip in and out and you know which subjects get people going or raise an eyebrow. But my advice to newbies would be to venture out of AIBU and it's way more normal.

Spreadsheet or cursory glance

Yes, nothing in between

@wheretoyougonow

Yes I agree. Also those who point out a spelling mistake, especially when the poster has poured their heart out.

I see this often I think it’s actually NASTY and shows an element of snobbery/superiority. I can’t stand it.

I think when people are going through a hard time then some posters are really harsh at the things they pick at eg 'my husband spends all weekend doing his hobby and never sees our child' and a poster responds 'I hate it when people don't say what hobby it is' etc...
But when it's not a personal situation just something like 'should shoes be worn indoors' or 'how often do you change your bed sheets' I do think it's a bit odd to start a new thread about it when there are a million others that are literally exactly the same

I suppose I am a bit ranty. I get like that sometimes. I feel like we don't always support each other as well as we could. I imagine some of the people writing these things and it depresses me how awful some people are. And when it's women against women (which I tend to assume in this space although it's not always the case), it upsets me more.

My examples were meant in jest. I haven't actually seen those specific things said either. I was attempting to put a funny spin on it. Must try harder.

I understand why people might want to hide certain topics, but we all have the free will to click on a thread or not. If there's a title that triggers you, or one you find boring, just don't click on it. It's not that hard to scan the thread titles and find one you want to read or ignore the ones you don't. Fair enough if someone writes a thread title that's offensive... but Mumsnet are very much on top of that.

And the people who read 40 pages of a thread on contentious topic and then say how disgusted they are about mners having vile opinions. Basically they read the drama, enjoyed the entertainment and now what to tell us all how virtuous they are ‘oh look at me, I’m so kind’

You can hide a thread without even opening it. Report anything you think needs looking at and don't take it all very seriously, it's a Talk Forum on the internet. That's my tips.

You're talking about people who literally have nothing better to do all day op. They are almost trolls, but not quite there. I just ignore them, they always sound kind of stupid to me. It doesn't take an enormous level of intelligence to read a thread title or the first post and think 'I'm not interested in that' and scroll on, but people seem to act like it does.

Then there’s those who take the trouble to reply to a thread just to say something along the lines of they can’t be bothered to summon the energy to care about the issue. If a thread is too trivial for you just ignore it.

@CounsellorTroi

Then there’s those who take the trouble to reply to a thread just to say something along the lines of they can’t be bothered to summon the energy to care about the issue. If a thread is too trivial for you just ignore it.

I think that sometimes gives a bit of balance though, that some people think the matter isn't worth worrying about. Although I would think you could say it in a nice way.

I understand why people might want to hide certain topics, but we all have the free will to click on a thread or not. If there's a title that triggers you, or one you find boring, just don't click on it. It's not that hard to scan the thread titles and find one you want to read or ignore the ones you don't. Fair enough if someone writes a thread title that's offensive... but Mumsnet are very much on top of that.

That would work if people used descriptive titles. Looking through the first page of AIBU at this moment we have

To be a bit shook up about this?
To ask you honestly if this is a bad idea?
To think it's almost a right of passage

Absolutely no indication as to what the thread is about. AIBU is absolutely full of "To think this?", "To think that this is wrong?" and "What is this?"

Yes some thread titles are very vague.

It really annoys me when someone posts a Covid AIBU and people respond 'We have a covid section'. Yes but we also have a relationships section, a baby section, a pregnancy section, a weaning section, a health section, a talk section etc and yet those topics are also all FREQUENTLY discussed on AIBU and there isn't someone directing them to all of the other forums. Most of them say Covid in the title JUST SCROLL PAST.